John’s Crawlspace

Note: For those of you who just come here for links and stuff, this post will be of little to no interest to you; just thought I’d be a pal and warn you in advance.

As most of you know, I haven’t posted for two weeks or so. I left here for the Harrisburg area two Thursdays ago – Thursday and Friday were cool, but the real fun didn’t start until Sunday. Saturday afternoon, Tom, Ed and myself drove to Ocean City, Maryland. Ed’s dad has a real nice camper that they keep down there, so we stayed there with his parents on Saturday night, and on Sunday morning we woke up pretty early to leave for the big Nascar race, I believe it was called the Dover 400 or something like that. Now I’m not a huge racing fan; I’ve never been to a race before, and I definitely don’t follow racing on TV, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I’ve gotta say that that shit was really cool to watch, especially the wrecks (though there weren’t any major ones). We sat seperately from Ed’s parents, and alcohol was available, so needless to say we were all pretty driz within half an hour or so. To be honest, I couldn’t even tell you who won the race – Hell, I couldn’t even name three racers right now if I had to – But regardless, the race was alot of fun. There were so many damn people there that we parked the car in a mall’s parking lot which was about ten minutes from the stadium/race track/whatever, and a shuttle service was provided to take people from the mall to the event. So after the race, there were tons of drunk people all trying to get in line for the buses, alot more people than you would probably think. Me and Ed lost the other people who were with us, so we just kinda jumped in line. A few minutes later, some drunk, fat, fourty-something piece of trash said something to me about how rude I was for getting in line. Unfortunately I don’t remember exactly how the conversation went, but it was hilarious. You could tell just by looking at this guy that he wasn’t gonna do shit, even though he got up in both of our faces. He told me that he was gonna “take me out on a date” or something, trying his hardest to be intimidating, and I kept asking him if we could cuddle. One of the things he said was that if we thought we were getting on the bus before him, we were dead wrong, or something like that, so naturally at the last second we both jumped right in front of him and got on first. I wish I would have gotten the whole thing on tape, it was really funny. As we all expected, when the bus got to the parking lot, this guy didn’t do a damn thing. I guess it’s probably not all that interesting to read about, but in my state of slight to moderate intoxication I found it to be pretty damn funny.

The rest of the people who were coming down for Senior Week got there later on that day. We left the camper and drove (about 20 minutes) to the house where a bunch of our friends were staying. The house was all people who had just graduated from High School, whereas Tom, Ed, and I are a year older – We’re pretty good friends with most of the kids though. Anyway, Sunday night we all got down and then went to the boardwalk, and I’ve gotta say that I’ve never seen that many cops before, they were literally everywhere, like maybe one cop for every thirty people on the boardwalk. I saw alot of kids get busted too… I even saw an undercover cop that looked just like a teenager (backwards hat and all) slam a girl onto the hood of a car and handcuff her. It’s amazing that out of the 14 (or so) kids that were in the house that we spent the majority of our time at, not a single one of us got arrested.

One night on the boardwalk, I saw a little gimpy guy fly by us in a wheelchair. But this was no ordinary wheelchair; it was “pimped out”. There were actually rims on it, and he had a DVD player on the arm of the chair, and two big ass speakers behind his head, and he was blasting some rap song, it was hilarious. And seriously, I had my video camera with me the majority of the time that I was down there, so naturally the only time I didn’t have it with me was when funny shit such as that happened.

The house everyone stayed at had a rule that said no guests (people who didnt pay to stay there) were allowed in after 6 PM. People who payed to stay got green wristbands, and if you wanted to come in after six, you had to pay for one. So those of us who hadn’t originally planned on staying there went and paid for a “one night only” wristband, which just happened to be the exact same type of wristband that they used for the people who were staying all week. So we just used those to get in and out for the rest of the week. Anyway, the guy who stayed out all night and enforced this rule (checking for wristbands, etc) was quite possibly the biggest piece of white trash I’ve ever met in my life. He busted us for having beer cans outside a few times, and everytime that happened he took all of the alcohol from our fridge. We found out later that he sold it back to other kids for more than double what it cost. At some point I guess he decided he liked us, because he started to randomly walk into the house to try and start conversations with anyone that would dignify him with a response. I guess he considered us his friends, because he would tell us about the other houses he was watching. He told us he saw a bottle of vodka when he was looking through their window and that he planned on going over and taking it from them and then trying to sell it back to them, and it was as if he thought that telling us all this stuff would make us like him and think he was a badass. Once again, it’s probably not very amusing unless you were actually there for it, but oh well. Anyway, on that note, I’m gonna stop writing about this stuff.

Well I’m going to see a movie – The Italian Job – So I’m done with this for tonight.

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