John’s Crawlspace

…I dunno guys, I think I like my website alot more after it’s been Jesusified. It’s just so much better that way… Don’t ask questions.

If anyone can contribute some server space for me to put the System Of A Down non-album tracks on, that would be great. I’ll take anything I can get, I just want them to be available to my visitors… I get alot of e-mails regarding those MP3s, so if anyone can help me out, let me know.

I’m always interested in ‘high-tech gadgets’, or whatever the hell you wanna call them, especially stuff like this… Too bad that thing is a piece of shit.

Wow! “…wine has 9 to 11% alcohol and one brand 20% alcohol, you should not drink that. Brandy contains 15 to 20% alcohol, so that’s out! Hard liquor has 40 to 50% alcohol (80 to 100 proof), and that is obviously excluded! Someone will say, ’since beer is only 4% alcohol, IT’S OK FOR A BELIEVER TO DRINK BEER, RIGHT?’ The answer is NO!” This entire page is a big bitchfest about why Christians shouldn’t consume any types of alcoholic beverages, it’s actually pretty amusing.

Stuff about subliminal messages has always been very interesting to me. I was reading through this page about the connection between violence and music, and I found some ridiculous shit. For example, “The British band The Mentors sings about the “Four F Club,” whose members “Find her, Feel her, Fuck her, and Forget her.” Is the band merely singing about the exploits of others (or presenting an existentialist view of the lack of romance in today’s society), or urging listeners to act accordingly? Might this song reasonably, or unreasonably, incite one to adopt this philosophy and to commit the violent act of rape?” What kind of shit is that? Anyone who is able to bring themselves to rape a women has mental problems, music doesn’t just ‘trigger’ things like that… At least not in my opinion. Anyway, The Mentors have another song which has some pretty funny lyrics. It’s called “Golden Showers” - “Listen, you little slut, do as you are told, come with daddy for me to pour the gold. Golden showers. All through my excrement you shall roam. Bend up and smell my anal vapor. Your face is my toilet paper. On your face I leave a shit tower. Golden showers.” I thought it was pretty funny, anyway.

The next thing I came across is something that I’ve read about in the past, but it’s still interesting. “During an instrumental break in “Suicide Solution,” Ozzy Osbourne sings the following 28-second interval of words that aren’t printed with the lyrics on the album jacket: “Ah know people, You really know where it’s at, You got it, Why try, why try, Get the gun and try it, Shoot, shoot, shoot.” These words are repeated for about 10 seconds. These [unprinted] lyrics are sung at one and one-half times the normal rate of speech and (in the words of plaintiffs’ allegations) “are not immediately intelligible. They are perceptible enough to be heard and understood when the listener concentrates on the music and lyrics being played during this 28-second interval.” In addition to the lyrics, plaintiffs also allege that Osbourne’s music utilizes a strong, pounding and driving rhythm and . . . a “hemisync” process of sound waves which impact the listener’s mental state.” That, to me, is a load of shit. I have Ozzy’s CD, “Blizzard Of Ozz”, and I’ve heard “Suicide Solution” about a million times. I never knew what the hell he was saying at that part until I read that, and it really doesn’t sound like he’s saying ’shoot’ at all.

Anyway, if you’re at all interested in this kinda stuff, there’s alot more interesting shit to read about… This page says that members of Led Zeppelin were into satanism and the occult, and that the song “Stairway to Heaven” contains satanic subliminal messages, such as “I live for Satan,” “The Lord turns me off,” “Here is to my sweet Satan,” “There’s power in Satan,” and “Take the 666.” That same page also tells of Eric Nehart, of Mechanicsburg, PA, who does research into subliminal techniques used in rock music. Nehart says that someone he knew, who was listening to the Beatles’ “No. 9 Revolution”, and hallucinating from drugs, was imagining that there were no windows or doors in the room, and that fire was coming at him. He began to scream, “Let me out, let me out.” A section of the song, when played in reverse, says: “Let me out.” Even more interesting information: On the Electric Light Orchestra’s album “Face the Music”, there’s a song called “Fire on High”, a segment of which, when played in reverse, says: “The music is reversible, but time isn’t, turn back, turn back, turn back…” In their album “Eldorado”, there are backward messages which say: “Christ you’re the nasty one, you’re infernal,” and “He’s there on the cross and dead.” Queen’s song, “Another One Bites the Dust,” when played in reverse, continually says: “It’s fun to smoke marijuana.” In Jefferson Starship’s “Blows Against the Empire”, the song says: “I’ve got a surprise for you, a child is coming, a child is coming. Everything’s gonna get better, it’s gonna be brighter.” When played in reverse, it continually says: “Son of Satan.” On the live album of Black Oak Arkansas, called “Raunch and Roll”, during the song, “The Day Electricity Came to Arkansas” the lead singer Jim Landy utters something unintelligible, then laughs. When it is played backwards, he says: “Satan, Satan, Satan; He is God, he is God, he is God.” Some researchers believe that not all of this is intentional, that some of it may be put there supernaturally. The Eagles, who publicly admitted to having ties with the Church of Satan (founded in San Francisco in 1966), illustrated that fact with their album “Hotel California”. The face of the church’s founder, Anton LaVey, can be seen in a window on the inside cover. A segment of the song “Hotel California” when played in reverse, says: “Yes Satan, he organized his own religion.” The Church is located on California Street, and the song refers to 1969, when the Satanic Bible was written by LaVey. Some of the stuff on the page is obviously bullshit, though… Like this: Black Sabbath’s album “Sabbath, Bloody Sabbath” depicted an upside-down cross and the number “666″ on the cover. Okay, yeah… Someone find me that album and show it to me, I’d be very intersted in seeing it. Okay, one more interesting thing, and then that’s it for this topic. “The “Rune” album of Led Zeppelin displays on the cover the famous black occultist Aleister Crowley. Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page, a self-confessed Satanist, bought Crowley’s old mansion. John Bonham, a drummer for the band, died in the house in 1980; Robert Plant allegedly split the group up after his death and blamed Page’s obsession with the occult for his death.” All in all, just remember, music rots your brains.

Hey, did you know they sell all kinds of satanic/wiccan/whatever-you-wanna-call-it books on Amazon? Personally I have mixed feelings about that stuff, its NAUGHTY but interesting. But I was reading the review of one book, called “Necronomicon“. The review says “Its amazing how many arm chair magicians have reviewed this book. This book is a grimiore of the blackest type. It is NOT a work of fiction. Internal evidence suggests that the book is authentic and complete. It is not taken from a much larger work, since the gates mentioned in the book are a reference to nine planetery zones of spiritual intellegences mentioned in Franz Bardons works. It is authentic because the mad arab in the book is no liar. These rituals are very powerful. One must be well versed in magick to understand what is in this book. I strongly suggest one read Modern Magick by Don Miachel Kraig and The Golden Dawn by Regardie to get a solid grounding in magick and to learn banishing rituals to dissolve these monsters that are called up. In no way should a beginner use these rituals. Even if he sees nothing by using the book, the forces are there invisibly. If they are not banished, they can lead to terrible suffering. This is no joke! The book is packed full of rituals and incantations for the calling forth of dark forces. The last section of the book is the blackest of all. Only an advanced magician should try these. There are accounts of people who have tried these rituals and summoned up the most terrible things and had a very hard time banishing them. Please people if you are going to try these rituals, be well grounded in magickal theory and practice, because this book works.” Just reading that really makes me curious, I mean it’s most likely a load of shit, but it’s not like these reviewers are being paid to say this about the book… Oh, wait… Nevermind.

I was bored today, so I was looking around for news on when Orgazmo will be coming out on DVD… Anyway, I was looking at the actors bios, and Ron Jeremy’s was on there. I knew he was in some porn movies, but I had no idea he was in this many… DAMN. Anyway, I was browsing through eBay, and I saw people selling Orgazmo on DVD. I haven’t seen it in any stores, but I guess that means it will be out very soon, since what they’re selling is the actual DVD, not something they made on their computer. I already ordered a copy, and almost immediately afterwards I came across this. Just my luck, the SUPER GOLD BONUS PREMIER COLLECTORS EDITION comes out later on this year… I wish I would have waited for that instead.

This is for all you In Flames fans, I got this from theprp.com: In Flames frontman Anders Friden has involved himself a new project dubbed Passenger with Gardenian guitarist Niclas Engelin, Headplate bassist H�kan Skoger, and former Transport League drummer Patrik J. Sten. The band will be releasing their self-titled debut effort in North America through Century Media on June 3rd. An mp3 of the first song off the effort, “In Reverse”, is currently available for download here. And while I’m on the general subject of music, if you’re a fan of Staind, you can preview a song from their upcoming new album here.

If you’re a rap fan, all of the best music on MP3.com can be found here… Hahaha. How about 250 free color business cards? Make your own here. Wanna download the new NOFX EP? Well too bad, no one will hook me up with MP3 hosting so I guess you’re S.O.L. I’m listening to it right now though, and I like what I hear. It’s called “Regaining Unconsciousness”, and it’s only got five tracks (four songs and a promo thing) on it, but hey, it’s new NOFX, I can’t complain… And I can’t wait for the new album itself. And finally, if you want free DVDs, this site has ‘em… But you have to sign up for trials of shit like AOL and Netflix to get the DVDs… Still, I thought it might be of interest to some of you.

Alright, for the past week or so, I’ve been so occupied with this art shit I have to do. I take 2D Design, and the assignments we get every week are ridiculously complex, they always involve tons of unnecessary, tedious shit. Anyway, the thing she gave us last time we had class, we had three weeks to do. So that would make it due next week, but I thought it was due today, so I was up until like 3 last night finishing it. I was so glad to have it done, and even though I would have never done something like this if I wasn’t required to, I was pretty satisfied with what I’d made. So I’m in class today, and I showed it to her, and she immediately told me I was nowhere near finished. The content of my bowels then proceeded to empty into my pants, and down my legs. Hearing this pissed me off so much, because I spent at least ten hours working on this shit, no joke. Her explanation of what my work was lacking made absolutely no sense, but according to her, art has emotion and it needs to feel content. When I went back to my desk, I was talking to someone and she overheard me say “this sucks”, and she totally flipped out on me - I’m the first person she’s even raised her voice at in this class so far. She told me that Graphic Design was all about work, and making changes, and sacrafice, and blah blah blah, I’m not even in Graphic Design, so what the hell does that mean to me? Anyway, she said if I didn’t like it I could walk out the door… Plus I was kinda stiz, so that didn’t help anything… here’s the product of me isolating myself in my room for the past week or so…

Sure, it might not look like much, but you have no idea how hard it was to cut out some of those pieces, you can’t see how detailed it is because it’s a pretty low-quality image, and I took it in a dark room. Anyway, I’m pissed because I have to redo basically the whole thing, and it’s due next Wednesday. Oh yeah, and I dunno if I mentioned that it’s 20″ x 20″. I guess I won’t be making any plans for this weekend…

As I’m sure some of you know, the Deftones are one of my favorite bands, so naturally I’ve been really excited to hear the new album. Well, deftonesworld.com has gotten ahold of some 30-second clips from songs that will most likely appear on the upcoming album. So head on over there to check them out, or just download them from here: “Bukkakke“, “Cracker“, “Minerva“, “White Woman“, and “You Hate Fun“. I have been listening to these on repeat for the last half hour or so now, and they are all awesome… I can’t wait for the new CD! Anyway, I have a bigger update that I’m working on, but I just wanted to put this up because I’m sure some of you are as psyched as me about this CD.

Alot of you probably wonder where the hell the titles (subjects) of these posts come from. Well, alot of times, they’re the names of songs or albums that I like. Sometimes, I’ll be listening to music while making a post, and certain lyrics in a song will stand out to me, and I’ll put them as the subject. And the rest of the time, it’s just weird shit that I came up with.

After a period of inactivity, Zack de la Rocha decided to get off his lazy ass and record a new song - It’s a collaboration with DJ Shadow, entitled “March of Death”. I actually haven’t listened to it yet, but my spidey sense tells me that it’s a political statement, just like the new SHITTY Beastie Boys song. Anyway, he posted the song on his website, zackdelarocha.com, but you can just download it here.

Look at you. I hate you for wearing that shirt. PLUR? PLUR your ass into a permanent K-hole, biatch. If someone ever approached me and said anything about ‘PLUR’, I wouldn’t hesitate for even a second to punch them in the face. For those of you who aren’t ‘in the know’, PLUR stands for Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect. From this point on, let’s just refer to it as the most homosexual acronym ever created in the history of mankind - It’s just easier that way. If you want to read more about the most homosexual acronym ever created in the history of mankind, click here. I’m not even sure what it is about the most homosexual acronym ever created in the history of mankind that irritates me, maybe it’s just the sheer homosexuality of it all. Hippies don’t really piss me off, but this does. Anyway, I guess I don’t have a whole lot else to say about that, I just thought I’d share.

Take a good look at the grainy image of the obviously irritated girl on the left. What do you think is bothering her? Perhaps she was stung by a bee? Maybe there was something hard in one of her Chicken McNuggets? Or maybe she forgot to return her videos to Blockbuster, and now she will have to pay a late fee? Then again, you can’t ignore the possibility that maybe she just got a nice look at Christina Aguilera’s buttcrack, and she observed an abnormally large amount of dingleberries. So what is it? You can find out here.

Wow, three posts in three days, I might break my own record this year. Anyway, I’m gonna go get ready to go out. I know I was supposed to plug some sites, but I don’t remember which they were, and I don’t have time to check, so… That’s it.

Okay, alot of people are fucking idiots. I usually go on IRC to get new music, but I can’t help but notice some of the stupid shit people say. Of course everyone is talking about the war on Iraq, but I just can’t believe some of the things people say. I’m not gonna go through my IRC logs to find all the different things people have said over the past few days or so, but I just now saw someone with the nick ‘burbank’ say bush, hitler, same man, different millenium. How can you compare the two, I mean seriously… People who are this ignorant shouldn’t be allowed to talk. All kidding aside though, I’m baffled by the things people say. Anyway, the reason I was on IRC to begin with was because the new Linkin Park CD, “Meteora”, was ripped last night, and though I don’t plan on listening to it, I know alot of you want to get your sweaty little mittens on it (what?) so… I put it on the site. If you can’t find it, go have a bowl of cereal instead. While on the subject of politics (sorta), I just found out that not only does Saddam have an LJ, George Bush runs two of ‘em. Well, not really, but they’re pretty funny, check them out: (1) (2) And while you’re at it, check this out… That really makes you think.

For all you Eminem fans out there (I’m not even sure if I’m one anymore) - There’s a new Eminem song out with Obie Trice and some other silly billys, it’s called “We All Die Someday”, and you can download it right herelet.

Okay, if you’ve never seen Orgazmo, it’s funny as shit, and now is your chance - Download it here. (You’ll need DiVX codecs!) Orgazmo is a movie made by Matt Parker and Trey Stone or whatever the fuck those guys names are, the ones who make South Park. And speaking of which, last night’s South Park was hilarious, especially when the alien impersonated Missy Elliot. Haven’t seen it? Download it in RealPlayer format (ugh) here. In the mood to download more shit? Here, have an album: Kerrang! - Revved Up (It’s a compilation)

“Shit son, we got mad treez. We got Christmas treez, maple treez, pine treez, shit, we even gotz Christmas treez bro, anykinna treez you want.” Some wigger douche trying to sell me and my friend weed actually said that. Be sure to visit the beautiful LeeAnnan over at SisterHoney.com. Remember Pranks2k? They had some hilarious prank calls on that site. Well, Coby, the guy who did the majority of the calls (the funny ones) has another site up, and the calls are all on it, too. Check it out at cp-x.cjb.net. So uh, peep bothadoze sites out neeyugh.

Before I say anything else, I just want to get this out of the way. For all of you damn hippies who are saying we shouldn’t go to war with Iraq, read this, and then get back to me. I totally support Bush in his decision, and that’s all I’m going to say about politics, I promise.

Let’s see… Well, this weekend was pretty damn cool, and I can honestly say I have never watched a single movie more times in a row than we watched “Wet Hot American Summer” this weekend. On Friday night I went up to Loyola in Maryland, and the Riz and I started the movie when we got there… The DVD was on repeat the entire time we were there. Even though we were trashed pretty much the whole time, I saw the movie in it’s entirety probably 4 or 5 times there. Then on Saturday we were all driz down in Harrisbneaw, and we discovered that my DVD has a bonus feature where you can watch the movie with extra “bonus” farts in the background, which made it alot funnier in my opinion. So we watched the movie with the added farts like three or four times Saturday. Then some people were over on Sunday that had never seen it before, so we watched it two more times… Holy crap, I don’t think I ever want to watch that movie again. Okay, nevermind, I definitely do… If you haven’t seen “Wet Hot American Summer“, you are seriously missing out, it’s probably one of my top ten favorite movies ever. The last time I ever saw a movie this many times was when I first got “Dirty Work” on DVD, and even then I don’t think I saw it this much… Okay, well I’m pretty stizpie right now, so I’m not even sure if I’m making sense here. Some grundlecake found an exploit in GreyMatter, which is the program I use to make posts on this site, and he keeps hax0ring my posts, which I must admit is very intimidating. All kidding aside though, I don’t know a whole lot about programming and shit, so for me to figure out what this little fucker keeps doing to my posts wouldn’t really be worth all the time and effort it would take on my part. So until I can figure out how to prevent it from continuing, I don’t think I’m gonna be posting very often, since the posts just dissapear. Earlier this weekend, on Saturday I believe it was, I checked the comments thread on the newest post, and there were like 30 or so real comments regarding the post I had made - I didn’t really have a chance to read them all though, which pisses me the fuck off, because I really enjoy hearing what people have to say about my posts and all. If anyone asked me any questions in the comments thread and I didn’t answer them, just e-mail me or something. Anyway… This week is my Spring Break, how conveniently scheduled so that I have an entire week off while all my friends at other schools had their Spring Breaks last week or the week before. I guess it’s not that bad though, I got fired last week for some bullshit, so I need to find a new job, and I have all week off to do that. That’s the THIRD TIME I’ve gotten fired, I’m seriously a fucking idiot. Yeah… I just realized that all the stupid words me and my friends use in order to talk about “controlled substances” in front of parents always end up in my posts when I’m talking about what I did with my friends over the weekend or whatever. So if you ever see a word on this site, and you can’t figure out what the hell it means, just assume that I’m talking about smoking crack in an alleyway with Dennis Rodman. Okay, I started writing this post Monday night, and it’s now Tuesday afternoon… Let’s check out some mail, shall we? I get tons of user mail, yet I rarely post any of it.

For those of you that don’t know, Rob was writing in response to my previous post, where I said that I felt that this band was the worst of all time. Damn, that “Sacrafice” song he mentioned really is god-awful. It’s definitely worth a listen, just to hear how terrible it is.

No problem duder, just keep dat shit real. To be honest, I didn’t even read your whole mail, I’m too lazy right now, but it’s nice and long so it should take up a nice amount of room, creating a bigger post and therefore making it look like I put more effort into this post than I actually did. Thanks!

Wow - I must say, I listened to the songs these guys have out, and “Golden Colorado” is an amazing song. If you’re into the ’screamo’ type music, or any newer rock, definitely check it out… These guys are going somewhere. Okay, let me rephrase that. If the music industry worked the way it should, and talent determined how succesful a band was, these guys would go somewhere. But they don’t have any rap verses in their songs, so unfortunately I doubt they’ll ever break into the mainstream. Guys, try and get DMX to rap in one of your tracks, then you’ll be well on your way.

Yeah, take that bitches. I actually just posted this because I thought it was cool that I have readers from other countries and stuff. And to all you “HaTaZ”, your whining and bitching falls on deaf ears.

Woah buddy, I was just kidding, no Tatu song has ever been stuck in my head. Are you gay? Haha, just kidding. But I don’t think I’d ever buy their CD. If they put out a DVD, though, that would be another story, haha.

Yes, you figured me out Ronan. What the hell kind of name is Ronan anyway? Are you a Chinese robot or something? Okay, I’m not sure what that was all about… But yes, I did put those pictures of me with girls just to make myself feel cool. I never actually touched a girl before - I just photoshopped my face into those images. Don’t tell anyone though, since that’s kind of embarassing.

I believe that this mail was referring to this game, which I linked to a few updates back. I’m not even going to try out the other game he suggested, because I want to get this update done with, I have alot of other stuff to do, and I’m sure that I’ll end up playing the game for an hour out of sheer frustration.

Alright, that’s enough mail for today… I don’t think I’ve ever posted that many mails in one post before, so if you didn’t like reading that, let me know and I won’t post mail as often. Anyway, be sure to check out Phreak2000 and MaXsItE - Oh yeah, and please don’t spell your website with uppercase-lowercase letters like that, it really sucks ass… Like really, really bad. Oh yeah, check out The Metal Militia, they’ve had me linked forever and I haven’t even been polite enough to fart in their general direction. Oh, and one more, check out toddmorrison.com - I’m only plugging this guy because in his e-mail he said, “If you like it, link it and let me know so I can do the same. If not, fuck you.” Pretty straight to the point, I like that.

Some dumbarse has decided itd be funny to exploit greymatter. Here we go again…
Updates coming soon.

This weekend was pretty cool. I don’t have class on Mondays (or Fridays), so I actually didn’t get home until late last (Monday) night. Anyway, at one point we were in some pizza place, I think it was Monday afternoon, and the place was full of old people. So I walked over to the jukebox just to see what kind of music they had. Then we got the idea to find the ‘heaviest’ song on there, just to get a reaction out of the old people. All I could find was “Dig” by Mudvayne, so we played it a bunch of times in a row, and I got some dirty looks, so it was kinda funny, nothing great though. I’m trying to think of what we actually did all weekend, other than binge drinking and all that stuff. Oh yeah, on Sunday, a couple of us went to see “Cradle 2 The Grave“. The movie, for the most part, was like one long action scene, which is pretty much a good thing. Some of the stuff DMX said was pretty cheesy, of course, like, “X marks the spot!” But alot of the stunts and stuff were cool. I wouldn’t see it again, but if you think you might like it, chances are you probably will, especially if you liked “Romeo Must Die“. Over the weekend I also watched “The Cable Guy” again, after some serious bonglet sessions, and I never realized that the movie actually had a message to it. The fact that the main story was a movie within a movie, it was almost like it was supposed to be some sort of wake-up call to our country. But getting all deep and really analyzing stuff isn’t always too cool, and I’m really tired right now. All I know is what I was thinking about when I was watching that movie, well, it made total sense to me at the time. I had alot more to say here, but forget that.

I got ahold of a copy of the soundtrack for Rob Zombie’s upcoming “House of 1000 Corpses” movie, and I noticed that Rob Zombie did a song with the rapper Trina. Well, that’s all I have to say about that, but man, what a shame. At least dragons still rule.

I’ve always felt that if you have something you’re not using, and someone else could benefit from it, sharing it with them is the proper thing to do. Well, the baby in this article was born with two penises, and apparently his parents felt the same way about that issue that I do.

Okay, well this might interest some of you, namely the male readers… Since it’s about Mardi Gras time, check out the live Bourbocam and Beadcam, if you’re bored or whatever. Lots more cams here. Imagine being at Mardi Gras (if you’ve never been before) - There would be too many girls to look at, I’d go crazy… Kinda reminds me of this site, you don’t even know where to start.

This damn game is seriously impossible. Anyway, I spent all damn night trying to find a working serial for Windows XP, and I just now found one. So blame the shittyness of this post on the lack of pirated software resources on the web.