John’s Crawlspace

I’ve been busted for underage drinking before, but it was definitely not this bad… And although I did attempt to lie about my name, I wasn’t this stupid about it. Speaking of stupid, what kind of idiot takes pictures of themselves posing with the pot that they grew, and then takes the film to a drugstore to get developed? Apparently, this kind of idiot.

This article reports that 100,000 bees escaped from a truck on the turnpike in Cumberland County. I hate bees.

Umm… A videogame that puts the fun back into urination, and leaves critics wondering if it was ever there to begin with. Cool, I guess?

Okay, who wants free magazine subscriptions? The only one of these that I’ve tried so far is the free subscription to Stuff (which isn’t working anymore, apparently), I signed up about two months ago and got my first issue already. Anyway, here they are: Forbes Magazine (I’m sure you all want this one), FHM, The Week, and Blender. Thanks to calio.net for these links.

I have good news for all of you fags Harry Potter fans out there… If you’re too cheap to buy the new book, you can get a copy of it in .PDF (Adobe Acrobat) format here.

From theprp.com: Superjoint Ritual will be filming two videos at the State Palace Theatre in New Orleans, LA on June 28th. The songs in question are “Dress Like A Target” and “Waiting For The Turning Point”, both of which will be directed by Thomas Mignone (Slipknot, Sepultura). The two tracks are taken from the bands upcoming new album “A Lethal Dose of American Hatred”, which will see a release through Sanctuary on July 22nd. I already have the entire album, and it’s pretty damn good from what I’ve heard so far.

If you’re a fan of The Simpsons, this might be of interest to you, it’s basically a virtual tour of their house.

This article on music piracy seriously cracked me up, it’s by far the funniest thing I read all day. I’m not even gonna bother explaining it, just check it out. Oh yeah, and this is pretty damn funny, too.

Most people have heard of Friday the 13th being unlucky, but have you ever wondered where that originated from? You can find out here. Not interested? Have a free DVD instead.

Well here’s something unique: The Post-It Gallery. It’s a gallery of pictures drawn on post-it notes. Actually, it’s not all that interesting, but worth a look if you’re bored, which I’m assuming you are, otherwise, why would you be here?

HOLY SHIT! President Bush was riding on a Segway, AND HE STUMBLED AND ALMOST FELL OFF!!!! LOOK! Let’s all point and laugh! Oh my god, he must be the dumbest man alive! Yeah… Am I the only one who thinks it’s absolutely retarded that the media is obsessed with making the president look like a complete jackass? Yeah, I realize he’s done a decent job of doing just that on his own, but seriously, cut the guy a break. George Bush: Professional Fascist? I’m sure that was a mistake…

I just ordered something that should help me make good use of all this free time that summer has given me… A home vasectomy kit! God, I can’t wait, this is gonna be so sweet.

If you’re a fan of Tool, and ever wondered what the hell the song “Faaip de Oiad” was all about, then this may be of some interestpie to you. I’m going to bed, there’s nothin to do.

Alright, everyone is asking about the cam hotties, and to be honest, I don’t know when I’ll have them ready, I’m a combination of busy and completely unmotivated, so it’s kinda hard to say, but honestly it shouldn’t be too long, I just need to sit down and not get back up until I finish the shit. In the meantime, though, you always have the rest of the internet.

Susy has the sexiest lips ever, some hot tattoos, and… Okay, she’s just kinda hot in general. She made me a fan sign, too, which I added to the fans section, so check that out, and check out her site while you’re at it, foo.

Okay, this image isn’t new or anything, but I just came across it and I felt that not sharing it with my fellow man would be nothing short of a crime - Punishable by the dreaded death of a thousand hodges. Do you know what it’d be like to be hodged to death? It’d take a pretty damn long time, I’ll tell you that much. What was I talking about again? Extremely stiz + trying to write a post for my site = a slightly confused John.

Alright, it’s time to play a little game. See that image on the left? Try and guess what it is. Then click on it to see the whole image. Damn… And I used to think she was so fine, too. I honestly wish I hadn’t seen that…

If you’re a fan of the band HIM and/or Bam Margera, you might wanna check out this video, it’s a behind the scenes look at the making of HIM’s video “Buried Alive By Love”, which was directed by Bam.

Are these girls the Japanese equivelant of Tatu?

Usually I don’t take those lame quizzes when people send me links to them. You know the ones I’m talking about, like “what drug are you” or “what powerpuff girl are you”, I’m sure you’ve seen them, or ones somewhat similiar to them. Anyway, I got bored and decided to take this one. Not only did I learn that I could potentially have 61 years in prison, I also learned that in Allentown, Pennsylvania, there is a ban on men becoming aroused in public. Damn! Do they burn witches there too?

The Olsen twins, left, turned 17 yesterday (Here). One more year… Haha, that just seems so wrong, because when I think of them, I think of little toddlers on Full House, how the hell did they grow up so fast? I wasn’t a toddler when I watched that show, I think they age at twice the speed of normal humans… We should kill them.

Oh, yeah, The Italian Job was pretty cool, though Edward Norton definitely has had much better performances. And what the hell was up with all the Napster jokes? I definitely didn’t expect to see Sean Fanning making a guest appearance. I also saw One Hour Photo, and I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would… It was fucked up, but not fucked up in a particularly interesting way, and the ending didn’t make any sense to me. Oh well, I’m an idiot. And on that note, I’m gonna go… Yeah.

Note: For those of you who just come here for links and stuff, this post will be of little to no interest to you; just thought I’d be a pal and warn you in advance.

As most of you know, I haven’t posted for two weeks or so. I left here for the Harrisburg area two Thursdays ago - Thursday and Friday were cool, but the real fun didn’t start until Sunday. Saturday afternoon, Tom, Ed and myself drove to Ocean City, Maryland. Ed’s dad has a real nice camper that they keep down there, so we stayed there with his parents on Saturday night, and on Sunday morning we woke up pretty early to leave for the big Nascar race, I believe it was called the Dover 400 or something like that. Now I’m not a huge racing fan; I’ve never been to a race before, and I definitely don’t follow racing on TV, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I’ve gotta say that that shit was really cool to watch, especially the wrecks (though there weren’t any major ones). We sat seperately from Ed’s parents, and alcohol was available, so needless to say we were all pretty driz within half an hour or so. To be honest, I couldn’t even tell you who won the race - Hell, I couldn’t even name three racers right now if I had to - But regardless, the race was alot of fun. There were so many damn people there that we parked the car in a mall’s parking lot which was about ten minutes from the stadium/race track/whatever, and a shuttle service was provided to take people from the mall to the event. So after the race, there were tons of drunk people all trying to get in line for the buses, alot more people than you would probably think. Me and Ed lost the other people who were with us, so we just kinda jumped in line. A few minutes later, some drunk, fat, fourty-something piece of trash said something to me about how rude I was for getting in line. Unfortunately I don’t remember exactly how the conversation went, but it was hilarious. You could tell just by looking at this guy that he wasn’t gonna do shit, even though he got up in both of our faces. He told me that he was gonna “take me out on a date” or something, trying his hardest to be intimidating, and I kept asking him if we could cuddle. One of the things he said was that if we thought we were getting on the bus before him, we were dead wrong, or something like that, so naturally at the last second we both jumped right in front of him and got on first. I wish I would have gotten the whole thing on tape, it was really funny. As we all expected, when the bus got to the parking lot, this guy didn’t do a damn thing. I guess it’s probably not all that interesting to read about, but in my state of slight to moderate intoxication I found it to be pretty damn funny.

The rest of the people who were coming down for Senior Week got there later on that day. We left the camper and drove (about 20 minutes) to the house where a bunch of our friends were staying. The house was all people who had just graduated from High School, whereas Tom, Ed, and I are a year older - We’re pretty good friends with most of the kids though. Anyway, Sunday night we all got down and then went to the boardwalk, and I’ve gotta say that I’ve never seen that many cops before, they were literally everywhere, like maybe one cop for every thirty people on the boardwalk. I saw alot of kids get busted too… I even saw an undercover cop that looked just like a teenager (backwards hat and all) slam a girl onto the hood of a car and handcuff her. It’s amazing that out of the 14 (or so) kids that were in the house that we spent the majority of our time at, not a single one of us got arrested.

One night on the boardwalk, I saw a little gimpy guy fly by us in a wheelchair. But this was no ordinary wheelchair; it was “pimped out”. There were actually rims on it, and he had a DVD player on the arm of the chair, and two big ass speakers behind his head, and he was blasting some rap song, it was hilarious. And seriously, I had my video camera with me the majority of the time that I was down there, so naturally the only time I didn’t have it with me was when funny shit such as that happened.

The house everyone stayed at had a rule that said no guests (people who didnt pay to stay there) were allowed in after 6 PM. People who payed to stay got green wristbands, and if you wanted to come in after six, you had to pay for one. So those of us who hadn’t originally planned on staying there went and paid for a “one night only” wristband, which just happened to be the exact same type of wristband that they used for the people who were staying all week. So we just used those to get in and out for the rest of the week. Anyway, the guy who stayed out all night and enforced this rule (checking for wristbands, etc) was quite possibly the biggest piece of white trash I’ve ever met in my life. He busted us for having beer cans outside a few times, and everytime that happened he took all of the alcohol from our fridge. We found out later that he sold it back to other kids for more than double what it cost. At some point I guess he decided he liked us, because he started to randomly walk into the house to try and start conversations with anyone that would dignify him with a response. I guess he considered us his friends, because he would tell us about the other houses he was watching. He told us he saw a bottle of vodka when he was looking through their window and that he planned on going over and taking it from them and then trying to sell it back to them, and it was as if he thought that telling us all this stuff would make us like him and think he was a badass. Once again, it’s probably not very amusing unless you were actually there for it, but oh well. Anyway, on that note, I’m gonna stop writing about this stuff.

Well I’m going to see a movie - The Italian Job - So I’m done with this for tonight.