John’s Crawlspace

Alright, the majority of this post was typed up right around when Hurricane Isabel hit, and I just never got around to posting it. But hey, it’s still good, right? IT’S NOT OUTDATED! Oh yeah, and by the way, if you send me an e-mail and I don’t respond, it’s probably because of all the fucking junk mail I get. It’s seriously out of control, I get at least 500 spam messages a day, so alot of the actual mail intended for me gets accidentally deleted. Try typing the subject in all capital letters, and subjects such as “100% NATURAL PENIS ENLARGEMENT” will most likely not be read.

I’ve noticed that Britney Spears has been posing for some “risque” photos, and so I went around and made a gallery of my favorite pictures from photo shoots she has done for magazines in 2003. If you think you are safe and out of harms way, think again. Hurricane Isabel is coming for your ass, and she’s got satan on her side. That little wussy storm we had on Thursday night/Friday was just a distraction, so now everyone thinks it’s over and done with. Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes! They can sing, they can dance, after all miss this is France - and dinner here is never second best! Go on unfold your menu, take a glance and then you’ll be our guest, be out guest, be our guest! Interesting… On a somewhat different note, click here for hot sexy stars swallowing planets, and loving every minute of it! Now that is some hot shit. I kind

of want a shirt that says “I didn’t survive Hurricane Isabel”, because then everyone would think I was dead.

Now obviously the following link is something that I don’t need… Haha, yeah right. Anyway, check out “How To Be A Pimp In 8 Easy Steps” right neaw.

Okay, come on now, seriously… 80’s cartoons weren’t that cool… Though I must say, they were alot more creative than the stuff kids are watching today.

I don’t know about you guys, but I think that undead chicks are pretty hot. Come on, not even a little bit? Jeez, try and have an open mind.

I’m not offended by many things (thanks to the internet and it’s wonderful powers of desensitization… If that’s even a word) but I definitely have a problem with shit like this. It’s a collection of “GI Joe Erotica Fan Fiction”, in other words, a bunch of sex stories involving the characters from the cartoon… That’s just weird! And I’ve seen tons of other sites like this, I remember seeing a few for Ninja Turtles, N’Sync, The Simpsons, etc. The sad part is that there is tons of this stuff out there. Broken Memories, for one reason or another, has decided to archive all of this trash together for your reading, uh, pleasure. Seriously, that’s just bizarre.

Alright, well that’s about it for now… Be sure to check out HowHungry.com, a site I promised to link a while ago… And speaking of shit I completely forgot to do, check out Halfway Decent and revulsion.net, two more sites that I’ve been meaning to buttplug. Oh my, this is pretty interesting, “old school” anarchy stuff. Oh shit, one last thing, definitely check out leels.com, the beautiful LeeLee’s site. It’s nice to know that people still come here, and I know she’s one of them, and that makes me… Hungry, actually. Or is that from the pizlet? Oh well, regardless, I’m gonna go get food, later all.

Yo dogg, put yo hood up, and get ready for another update straight from the bowels of my… Heart.

Alright, well I have some great news - The rumors circulating about a possible Family Guy movie have been confirmed! It will definitely be worth the wait. Here’s the article.

I like to think that in my time I’ve figured out a thing or two about the opposite sex. One thing I know for sure is that using a “christian pickup line” is a surefire way to sweet a girl off of her feet. Ladies, you can’t tell me your heart wouldn’t skip a beat if a guy said one of these gems to you: “Excuse me, but can i drinkith from your cupith?”, “Excuse me, is this pew taken?”, “Hi, my name’s Will… God’s will”, or “I’d pick you over Satan any day!” Wow, those are truly the words of the mack daddy himself… Jesus.

I was real bored earlier, looking through band t-shirts on JSBDirect.com, when I found this awesome Dog Fashion Disco t-shirt. Not only are they a damn good band, but… Well, just check out what it says on the back. So awesome. Oh yeah, I doubt many of you have actually heard Impaled Nazarene before, but they’re an amazing metal band, they sort of sound like a super-fast, extra-evil version of Children of Bodom. Anyway, check this shirt out. I’ve seen that one before, but figured some of you would get a kick out of it.

Hey, look, another instance of teen violence where the blame is placed on the media! Stupid, stupid, stupid.

If you use KaZaA and are worried about being busted by the RIAA, here is yet another way of decreasing the chances of getting fux0red.

“Vancouver inaugurated North America’s first government-authorized drug-injection site Monday. The controversial government-funded project will give users injection kits and allow them to shoot up under nurse supervision.” To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about that. It could be seen as a positive thing since less people will be using dirty needles and all, but still, I think the focus should be on the legalization of marijuana, if anything. Anyway, you can check out the full article here.

So… How about some South Park episodes? No? Perhaps maybe you’d rather take part in the Avrilution? If you’re still not satisfied, I’m afraid all I have left for you is a website dedicated solely to old men crying.

One thing that all college students know and dread is the hangover. But fear no more! Boozeking.com presents us with tips for avoiding a hangover. I’ve always been able to avoid them by just drinking alot of water before I go to bed, but if you don’t have your own technique, then you should probably check it out.

Want the new Thursday CD? Here ya go… Quality isn’t great but hey, if you like them as much as I do then you won’t care that much.

How about some music videos (courtesy of videopimp.com and Zone Production Group)? A Perfect Circle’s “Weak and Powerless“, Deftones’ “Hexagram“, Queens Of The Stone Age’s “First It Giveth“, Evanescence’s “Going Under“, and Staind’s “So Far Away“.

Alright! More free magazine subscriptions… Awesome! Click here for a free subscription to Blender, which I think is a pretty cool mag. How about Stuff, Maxim, If you’re not satisfied with that, maybe you’d like some free tampons? Or you can check out tons of other magazines that you can subscribe to for under 5 bucks, some good ones on there too, check it out. Alright, there are a few other things… Free incense, useful for all you weedheads out there. Free caffeine pills? Sure, why not.

If you’re tired of trying to determine where you can get the cheapest gas in your area, gasbuddy.com can do it for you. Seems like a very useful site. I’ll update more eventually, I promise… Haha, been real busy, will plug all the sites I’ve promised plugs to in the next update.