John’s Crawlspace

Everyone thinks that gMail is so great, and I guess it’s alright, I mean 1 GB is alot more than I’ll ever need for e-mail. But if you need more, sign up for gawab.com, they’re offering free 2 GB e-mail accounts.

Hot moms! Full Paris Hilton video!

Free Shiat: “Glowy” mouse, video of John Kerry (probably making out with another dude), $15 Best Buy gift card, celebrity photos (who cares), Maker’s Mark golf balls, “exploiting software” book, calculadora, subscription to Hollywood Life/Mac World, Reba McEntire concert in Pittsburgh (who cares), pheremones, Koyotox “body toxin extractor”, $20 Wal-Mart shopping card, hair DVD (it’s action-packed!), t-shirt for a nerd, headset thingy, terrorism DVD, “Without a Paddle” movie screening, photo book (this looks kinda cool actually), “Bourne Supremacy” tickets, ringtones, mousepad, and… A teddy bear, but it’s only if you’re an expecting mother, and you’d better be honest or when you do get pregnant, I’m gonna come kick you in the stomach really hard.

Wow… This kid just sucks so bad. And it’s a shame that these two got caught, haha.

PixtoPix.com allows you to recieve picture messages from any type of picture phone, regardless of the service provider being used by the person sending the picture. Pretty cool, I guess.

Plugs: MakesMeAngry.com, ApeChild, The Autistic Portal, Some Idiot, Teh Lameking, Pointsincase, and
FEWBARR. Alright, time to drink.

So let’s see, what were the highlights of my weekend? Well, the police stopped by Friday night and Saturday night. The school year hasn’t even started yet, and only two (out of seven) of us have even moved into the house… So I don’t know how we’re ever gonna stay out of trouble once school actually starts and we start having real parties. Boobs. We had four cases of beer when the fuzz rolled up on Friday, and no one got underages (three is enough for me, thanks) but they made us dump all the beer out. Two cases of Lucky Numbers (beer, 8% alcohol) is probably enough to kill all the grass on my lawn. Also, my friend Justin who blows glass was here showing of his “wares”, and they confiscated all of those, probably about 30 pieces, a few were really big too, so that sucked. They came back Saturday and we weren’t being loud at all, but somehow we still had a noise complaint, so now I have some awesome fine that I get to pay. And everytime they come from now on there will be another fine, since Friday night was our “warning”. So anyway, that’s awesome. Oh yeah, and I zipped my wang up in my zipper this weekend too. I’ve never done that before, and it was honestly one of the most painful things I’ve ever done… I kept checking it to see if it was bleeding, because it sure as hell felt like it was. It’s all fun and games, until it happens to you.

Want a free subsciption to FHM? Go for it.

Have you ever heard a song in a tv show/commercial/etc that you liked, but couldn’t figure out what the song was called, or who it was by? Well this site is great for finding just that.

If you’re a fellow Shippensburglet, and haven’t heard “The Truth About College“, then check it out… Although I can’t imagine that anyone who goes here hasn’t already had someone play that for them.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the minds behind South Park, and movies such as Orgazmo and Baseketball, are working on a new movie called “Team America”. Not a whole lot of information is available on it yet, but check this article out.

Remember Surge? Yeah, it wasn’t all that great…

If you like listening to live recordings of your favorite bands, check this site out, there’s tons of them on there.

Wanna get the word out on something? Well, to be honest, I don’t think “

target=”_blank”>ass-vertising” is the best way to do it, but hey, give it a shot.

Short songs do kinda rock… Wish I had time to go through that list and check some of the songs out on my own, but alas, I’m… Well, lazy, when it comes down to it.

This is one of the most dog asses.

Check out some hot Israeli girls.

Wow, the Nintendo Entertainment Console is pretty cool. Sounds like it’s almost as fun as hanging yourself from a hook… For kicks.

Man, I wish I still had a working N64, because this has potential to be alot of fun.

I guess this page would be useful to me if I actually liked the show “Friends”, but I don’t. It’s transcripts of all the episodes.

When I think of female sex offenders from Georgia, I definitely don’t get a mental image that looks anything like this… Maybe

something a little more along the lines of this beauty.

I love Charlie White’s photography. Very strange, interesting stuff.

Plugs: h0tties.com, Mindless Bullshit (Forums). Oh yeah, and I’m still shoutcasting, so “tune in“. Wow, that sounded kinda lame, but do it anyway or I’ll eat your soul.

I chowed down on some crackers and then went to Hershey Park the other day with some friends, it was alot of fun. I haven’t been there for a pretty long time, it’s been at least two years. The new rollercoaster, I think it’s called Storm Chaser, goes from 0 to 70 in 2 seconds, it’s pretty crazy. They took the Cyclops out though, I was kinda bitter about that because it was one of my favorite non-coaster rides. Crackers will kick your ass (a little bird told me). Ken Jennings sucks. Oh yeah, and guess what…

Yeah, that’s right. I seriously fucking hate William Hung. He looks like a retarded baby, and I want to smack him. Hey, when did VH1 become entertaining? “I Love The 90s” and some of the other shows they’ve had on there over the past few months are pretty damn entertaining. I don’t watch much TV but lately I’ve been watching VH1 alot. It seems the channel has changed completely, all they used to show were Celine Dion and Meatloaf videos. Check it out if you haven’t for awhile.

Governor Schwarzenegger: “If [lawmakers] don’t have the guts to come up here in front of you and say, ’I don’t want to represent you, I want to represent those special interests, the unions, the trial lawyers … if they don’t have the guts, I call them girlie men.” Haha, that’s pretty funny.

I was never a fan of “The Green Lantern”, nor do I know much about the comic or the story behind it, but they’re making a movie out of it… Of course they are, every superhero is getting a movie now. Well, Jack Black is playing the Green Lantern. Don’t believe me? Fine, I don’t like you anyway, asshole.

I thought that this PCWorld article was pretty interesting, it adresses the most common PC myths and tells how true or false they really are. And on a completely unrelated note, the 50 coolest song parts is pretty cool.

If you’re one of those hornballs that is obsessed with movie/pop stars, then you’ll love this.

Hey, check it out “Mirror Sytes” went and mirrored my site for me… That was nice of them. Kittens make me happy.

John Tesh is an alien… Seriously.

I went through my affiliates list and removed links to sites that either are gone, or decided to remove my link from their site. What I don’t understand is why someone would e-mail me asking me to put their link on my site, and then when I do so, I check their site like a month later, and there’s no link back to my site. Anyway…

I heard about this a week or two ago, and forgot about it until I came across the article online: Apparently, the new Beastie Boys CD, “To the Five Boroughs”, auto-installs some type of driver upon inserting it in your CD-Rom drive. This driver somehow prevents the user from copying CDs… You can read more here. I actually like their new CD, but that’s pretty ridiculous.

Look at this picture of Paris Hilton. Look at all the cash in her wallet - Someone needs to jump her ass and take all that money from her!

Want a free USB Pen Drive? How about an LED mouse, and I guess you’ll need a free mousepad to go with it… Or how about a one-year subscription to Stuff? If that’s not your type of magazine, why not get 65 free issues of USA Today? How about this… A free IBM ThinkPad - Good luck with that one, though. What the hell do you need a pulse monitor for? Okay, free Oscar Mayer bean bag toy, and that’s it.

Plugs: Defectivematta.com, Ezynk.com, Downloads.nl, Scars To Prove, Usecondoms.net, Hungover.net, High Society Records, and SchwartzGeek.com. Oh yeah, and CRACKERS!

I’ve been playing around with Shoutcast, and decided to try running my own station… Just for the hell of it, to see how it goes. I’ve tried it before but never thought to post the URL on my website. Most of you have a good idea of the type of music I listen to by now… Anyway, check it out by clicking here, (or open Winamp, press CTRL + L, and then paste in the link: http://68.82.216.224:8000/listen.pls) and if you do tune in, leave feedback or IM me or something, let me know what you think. If you try the link and it doesn’t work, it means I took it down for whatever reason, but if I get positive feedback I’ll consider running this 24/7. I’m broadcasting at 64 kbps right now because I’m on a cable connection and don’t have tons of bandwidth to throw around… If anyone wants to help me out with a relay or something of the sort, get in touch with me and maybe we can work something out. And if you wanna check out the last 20 songs played, go here.

You always hear about students messing around with teachers, and then they student goes and tells his parents or the police or whatever. If I was in middle school and my teacher bought me candy and drove me and my friends around, and then decided that she wanted a little sex in return, I’d be more than happy to oblige. That’s just how things work, correct? Well, unfortunately, this kid decided to be a little biatch and go tell his mom… Kids these days. I guess I can understand, maybe it’d be a little traumatic for a fourteen year old, but that’s what he gets for taking free candy… He should be happy it wasn’t Larry the janitor who gave him the candy, I heard he’s hung like a… Planet. Yeah, a planet. I MADE A PIKSHOOR!!!~!~~11

Somebody get this kid a record deal, because he’s fuckin tight as SHIT!

I don’t know much about the band Spacemen 3, but they have an album called “Taking Drugs To Make Music To Take Drugs To“, how cute is that?

Eminem Eats Dick is such a stupid website. I’m pretty sure that the majority of people who hate Eminem are ICP fans, which in my opinion is about as trashy as it gets. There’s nothing wrong with liking ICP (I guess) but their fans tend to be some pretty trashy people, and you know what I’m talking about, too. (Careful with that last link!) I’m not even going to bother pointing out the contradictions and stuff on this site, it’s not even worth my time. Rock, Paper, Saddam, on the other hand, definitely is worth my time.

Damn man, you’ve gotta hide those noodles!

Lighterthief.org - That’s a pretty interesting idea. And “The Rules of Lighter Thievery” is cool in the same way that “The Official Shotgun Rules” is, it’s awesome that someone thought to make these sites.

If you’re a Coheed & Cambria fan, check out Past The Fence. People used to tell me to listen to them back when “The Second Stage Turbine Blade” came out… Back then all I was really listening to was metal, and I hadn’t really gotten into Thursday or any of that type of stuff yet so it sounded like emo to me and I immediately decided that the band sucked. But I listened again when “In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth III” came out, and I realized there was so much more to this band, and that to try and throw them into a genre like that is unfair, they’re definitely worth your time if your open-minded and not just set on listening to one specific genre of music. There’s a whole story behind the name of the band and the lyrical content too, but it doesn’t really interest me a whole lot, you can read up on people’s interpretations of it here. That’s it for now, tommorow is my last day of classes, so I have some studying to do… Finals rock.

I really hate losing touch with people… I would assume I’m not alone on that, that it probably bothers most people to some degree when they lose contact with a friend/friends for whatever reason, yet I still let it happen. You know those people on your buddy list that you haven’t IMed (or talked to) for years, but you don’t wanna take them off, thinking that you’ll end up talking to them eventually? Anyway, I’m not just talking about losing touch “online”, I haven’t talked to barely anyone that I went to High School with for a pretty long time, alot of those people I’ll probably never talk to again. And I see the same thing starting to happen with some of my other friends too, basically everyone who doesn’t go to school with me, slowly but surely it seems that contact with these people will disintegrate, or whatever you wanna say. It really bums me out, kinda depressing to think about, really. I work in an office and spend hours alphabetizing things and filing stuff away, so lately I’ve had more time to think, hence this little blurb you’re reading. I do try to keep the “thinking” to a minimum, though.

I’m pretty sure that Bathtub Shitter is the coolest band name, ever.

So I’m in the foreign language lab on campus in between classes trying to get some Spanish work done, and I’m using the Babelfish translator, which believe me has come in handy many, many times in this class. I’m finishing up Spanish 2 right now, and going for Spanish 3 in the fall, which is absolutely ridiculous because I barely know any Spanish at all… I do what I can to pass but that doesn’t always involve studying, and when I do study, I know the content for when I take the test, and within 3 or 4 days I forget almost all of it… My memory sucks. Anyway, I was using that translator and somehow I ended up with this:

At the time I thought it was pretty damn funny. Anyway… Women-drivers.net “is a collection of pictures of females driving motorized vehicles. These pictures are catalogued by date as well as location. While the subject matter may appear offensive to sensitive people, it was chosen at random. It may have been a collection of pictures of animals jumping through hoops or pictures of teenagers eating candy bars.” Hahaha, awesome.

People have been asking me how the absinthe went. Well, it was alright, I drank it with my friends Nick and Alex. I actually videotaped the entire process, from making it to drinking it, but to try and put the video onto my slow-ass computer just isn’t worth it… Once I get a new PC (should be soon) I’ll be adding lots of video. But back to the absinthe… It tasted like absolute butthole, I’d rather chug a scab milkshake then taste that stuff again… But I think that might have something to do with the fact that I used good old (shitty-ass) Bankers Club vodka which is 40% alcohol (80 proof), while the website recommends that you use Everclear grain alcohol which is something like 200 proof - I’ve had it before but I’ve also been told that it’s not actually 100% alcohol, that it’s a little less… Not that it matters. So it tasted like my taste buds were being dominated by plants or something, it was kind of like what I imagine biting into a tree would taste like, only 50 times stronger. After three or four drinks, Nick and I were both laughing at stupid stuff and felt a little weird, and Alex (who is way smaller than us) didn’t feel anything. We drank a little more, took some shots of 99 Berries (yeah, you know that shit’s good) then poured what was left of the absinthe into two water bottles, and headed into the city. I felt alright and was a little buzzed but Alex was mad because she didn’t feel anything, so she drank another whole water bottle of the stuff. About half an hour later she was ridiculous, she wasn’t even really talking right, and she had to drive home from my house later, which was pretty bad. We decided to get out of the city and go back to my house, and the trolley ride home was pretty funny, people could tell something was going on with her, she had a huge smile on her face most of the time. We finally got home and chilled out for awhile til she sobered up and was able to drive. I’d say all in all it wasn’t an amazing experience or anything, but it was worth trying, and I’d definitely like to try it again using Everclear this time, but I just don’t have the cash right now. I’d say if you’re curious, check out drinkabsinthe.com and order a kit, and use grain alcohol if you can get some (it’s illegal in PA so it’s a little harder for me to get ahold of.) And tell him John sent you… Seriously, if I find out you didn’t, you’re in deep yogurt young man. Oh yeah, and uh… You can top off a bowl with wormwood, too. That’s all I have to say about that.

I remember in high school I fell asleep in Spanish class with an open pen in my hand… And when I woke up, I had pen all over my face. I thought that kinda sucked at the time, but I guess it could have been worse.

I seriously hate Comedy Central’s The Daily Show… Although it’s not so much the show itself that I hate, I just can’t stand Jon Stewart. When he’s talking, whenever he finishes a sentence or pausing between words the audience laughs hysterically, it’s ridiculous. I actually used to like this show, before it started to focus solely on the mockery of politics. You can only make so many “W” jokes.

Okay this is really, really cool: “”Face-crushing guitars, head-pounding drums, bass so low it’ll make you vacate your bowels, and vocals so scorching, so extreme, they can’t be human. They’re not. This death metal outfit with a parrot for a singer takes your head off with two stabs to the throat. That’s right, a parrot for a singer, coming at you without mercy, Hatebeak pecks your eyes out and assaults your ears in a flurry of pummeling riffs and grey feathers that leaves you lying in a pool of blood begging for more. The first metal band in history with an avian vocalist!” Check out the song “God of Empty Nest

If you listen to Shoutcast, you should check out Streamripper - It rips the mp3s to your hard drive, and seperates them and everything… Pretty cool.

Haha, DMX is being charged with criminal possession of a weapon and a controlled substance (crack cocaine), criminal mischief, impersonation, menacing, DUI, and endangering the welfare of a child… All in one news story. Oh yeah, he did some other stuff, too. Just remember, his dogz bite!

I wasn’t planning on going to the next X-Games, until I came across this. Now, I’ll do whatever it takes to be there… Assuming that “broom boarding” is in fact a legit “x-treme sport” and meets the qualifications to be included.

IPod’s Dirty Secret: Customer gets screwed over by Apple and decides to get back at them, kinda cool.

Okay, what the hell... Look at the caption on this picture. I oughta find that girl and kick her ass.

To be honest, I used to like Nickelback, “The State” wasn’t too bad of a CD. But this new shit on the radio all the time doesn’t exactly tickle my bruthafux0ring fancy, and this is proof that the band as a whole chugs ridiculous amounts of Civil War-era smegma. That shits not even fresh!

Are you tired of rewinding your DVDs when you’re done watching them? I sure am… I have piles of unrewound DVDs lying around collecting dust… Thank god I found the DVD Rewinder! This might be one of the most useful gadgets EVAR!

This swinger game is pretty hard, and it’s addicting too.

If you use Bit Torrent to download stuff, check out Bitoogle.com. If you didn’t figure it out just by looking at the name of the site, it’s a search engine used for finding torrent files.

Woah… A drinking game where the loser gets shocked? That’s pretty cool.

“Police in Japan are trying to curb an unsavoury trade. In early September, three business men stocked around 90 vending machines in outer Tokyo with used underwear “guaranteed to have been worn by a Japanese schoolgirl.” Each garment sells for about $29.
After searching the rule books, the police have finally charged the three entrepreneurs with violating the Antique Dealings Law, which stipulates that dealers need a license. Used panties as antiques? The police say that some of the underwear was bought from second hand dealers. The trio may also be charged with swindling, if it can be shown that the panties on sale had not really been worn by female students.” Awesome.

“This is a real life transmission of the Anderson County Sheriff’s Department. Instances of violence or sexually inappropriate behavior by detainees during the booking process may occur. Viewer discretion is advised. This is a Jail, not a simulation. The persons in this transmission are either employees of the Anderson County Sheriff’s Department or arrestees.”

Check out “THE INCREDIBLY FUCKING COMPLETE PAC-MAN GAME LIST”, a little history of that little round yellow duder.

Popuptest.com “provides a simple and independent source for popup window testing.” See if your pop-up blocking software is working against all types of pop ups… If you’re a fucking pussy. Real men embrace pop-ups with open arms… I fuckin’ eat pop-up ads for breakfast.

Kegeratorinfo.com is pretty cool, and it’s strange I came across it because we were just talking about building one of those last night.

If I ever saw someone wearing this shirt… I’d have no choice but to kill them. Some of these are kinda funny though. This website has an entire category of shirts dedicated to Bam and CKY, which is… Really, really gay. Those Beastman shirts should have never been designed, I really can’t even imagine what kind of person would buy those.

It really amazes me how much effort must have been put into this site, talk about being dedicated to your hobby.

Haha, Fred Durst has a weblog.

Okay, that was a pretty big post… I mean I’ve seen bigger, but it was a good size. It got the job done, I guess, I just wish it wouldn’t have pulled out and shot it all over my back… What? Who said that? Alright, I have to head to work, so uh… I hope you all have a totally tubular jizztastic Independence Day, and don’t forget to have a fifth (or two) on the fourth.