Take This Love to the Grave August 20

Filed under General by John | 24 comments

Pantera fans, check this out - I knew about the pre “Cowboys from Hell” albums (hell, I have ‘em all on my hard drive) but I had never seen pics of the band when they were still ‘glam’… Funny stuff, especially if you look at Phil now, and then look at pics of what he used to look/dress like. This page kinda pisses me off though.

Anyway, on the topic of music (let’s make a genre switch here) there’s this new song I’ve been hearing alot on the radio, it’s “Ciara” and my man Petey Pablo, and it’s called “My Goodies”. First off, the beat sounds like one of those hearing tests the school nurses in middle school used to give with the headphones, and they’d ask which ear the beep was coming from. But that’s not the issue I’d like to address here. The lyrics to this song are atrocious! Ms. Ciara goes through the usual routine of “you can’t get some ass off of me unless you spend alot of money on me” and bla bla bla, and then she goes on to say “I bet you want the goodies, bet you thought about it, got you all hot and bothered, maybe cuz I talk about it, if you’re lookin for the goodies, keep on lookin cuz they stay in the jar“. By goodies, I take it she is referring to her sexual organs - She taunts the listener with them and leads them on, only to reveal that she has commited a disgusting act - I can only assume she means that she has had them surgically removed and keeps them in a glass jar somewhere. What would possess someone to commit an act of such depravity? Also, Petey goes on to say “so damn hot but so young, still got milk on ya tongue” - Basically, he’s saying the girls he is attracted to are so young that they’ve just finished breast feeding. Once again I have proved my point that no one should listen to music… Ever.

The other day on IRC, some random person commented on Dream Theater, stating that they “sound like people who have had too many lessons, and play so technically perfect that it lacks all emotion” - I’m not sure why I felt the need to share that, but I agree wholeheartedly and couldn’t have put it better myself. They’re all super talented and all but I just could never really get into them. By the way, Korn’s cover of “Word Up” just may be the absolute worst song I have ever had the pleasure of hearing in my entire life.

I haven’t played Doom III yet, heard it’s great and bla bla bla… But if I did download/buy (imagine that!) it, this would be the first mod I’d play with. Awesome.

From The Modern Drunkard’s “The 86 Rules of Boozing“: 33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor. That’s awesome, and I know that some of those of you who know me well feel the same. Who’s down for some good old-fashioned hoppin?

Get excited, or something… I have two more gMail invites to give to the first two people who leave their e-mail addresses in the comments thinger. Chris619 lives. And to think people were actually paying money for these on eBay… Ridiculous.

Allposters.com is having another $3 (and up) poster sale, definitely worth checking out… Last time they did this I didn’t see too many posters I liked, but I only went through like the first three pages of posters this time and already saw a bunch I wanted. Here’s a few I really liked: Toilet.cam, Pulp Fiction, Scarface,Maldives, Hidden Depths, Castle of Illusion, Bora Bora, and… Well, to be honest, there’s too many posters for me to look through right now. This one is an awesome picture but the text at the bottom makes me not like it… Same deal here and here, and I’m sure there’s alot more… Awesome pictures spoiled by lame inspirational quotes. But hey, to each his own… Well, in most cases. This is just fucking lame, and reminds me of something my roommate would have hung up last year, had he spent even one cent of his own money on something for the dorm… Oh wait, he didn’t, everything in there was mine. *($#&(*^#$*(@&%^

Although this news article is very poorly written, check it out anyway… Summary: Dude caught in tree with pants down beating it to a five year old, gets his ass destroyed and raped with a tree branch… Really, though. Speaking of poorly written articles… This is kinda funny, but some of the articles on femalefirst.co.uk look like they were written by a twelve year old.

Alrighty… Check out beefyness.com and thebluenothing.com.

Born Slippy August 17

Filed under General by John | 20 comments

Added: To those of you that were interested in the freeipods site: There is another one, freeflatscreens.com, which is run by the same company (Gratis Internet) that works the same way, but you earn a free flatscreen computer monitor/TV for referring friends. They ask you to fill out like 5,000 optional surveys, which they didn’t do with the freeipods.com site (at least not when I signed up for it), but you can choose ‘No Thanks’ for all of those. Other than that though, it works the same way. So help a nigga out and sign up using my referral. I didn’t sign up for this one until just now because I figured the freeipods one would be hard enough to do (and the flat screen I chose requires 8 referrals), but once I saw how easy it was to get the five referrals I needed, I figured I’d give this one a shot as well. I haven’t earned my freeipod yet, as most people who signed up have yet to have their status verified, but it should only be a matter of a week or so until that happens (hopefully) and I’ll be set - I’ll keep you all updated on that though, and when I do get mine I’ll take pictures so you can see that it is, in fact, legit. Anyway… freeflatscreens.com… Go go go! By the way, when I signed up for this, I completed the ancestry.com free offer, as it does require a credit card (it’s still free) and you get credit for it instantly, whereas with the freeipods offer I made the mistake of signing up for the free AOL trial (shit) and that one still hasn’t been verified yet. With the ancestry.com one, all you have to do is call and cancel within a week and you won’t be charged anything.

I bought my Sony Mini DV camcorder probably about three years ago at Sears for around $700, and when I bought it it was refurbished, there was no warranty or instruction manual or anything, but at that point I didn’t care at all, I just wanted to be able to capture all the ridiculous stupid shit me and my friends did. Well the first tape we ever filled up was awesome, so much funny stuff on there, I’m sure a few of you remember it… The vibrator in Subway, the cop yelling at me at that 3-car pileup outside the mall, and all kinds of terrible, incriminating evidence. Well, one New Years, a girl whose name won’t be mentioned was a little drunk, and alot stupid, and she taped over the entire tape. That sucked, alot. Then, the second oldest tape went through the washing machine in my pants pocket, and I could have cried, that one had alot of good stuff on it too. So that sucked real bad. But not as much as what just happened a week or so ago - The camera just stopped working. I tried taking it to a few TV/electronic repair shops, but they wouldn’t even give me an estimate - They wouldn’t even look at it, and gave me the impression that most of the time with camcorders its cheaper to just buy a new one then it is to get it repaired. Well that just fucking sucks. So I guess now I need to save up some money and try and find one on eBay or something. Anyone have a video camera for sale? Fuck this freeipods.com shit, I need some kinda freevideocameras.com site or something. Anyway, hopefully I’ll figure something out. I don’t think the camera is even that messed up, it just won’t close the entire way, and the tape thats in there wont come out. Anyway, I’m not sure why I’m posting this on here, but if any of you know of some crazy cheap website or some kind of real good rebate deal going on or whatever as far as mini DV camcorders go, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

What would possess someone to make a ‘Hello Kitty’ bong?

Haha, this guy must be pretty happy.

This site lets you test your computer knowledge - Apparently I’m an idiot.

Gimps Gone Wild is not even the least bit strange.

I would really like to try and brew my own beer, and that site makes it sound pretty damn simple. Have any of you ever done that before?

Fuck with the bull bee, you get the horns stinger. Those kids got what they deserved.

Check out “The Buttafly Guide to Interpreting Friendster Photos“, it’s funny because it’s da troof.

Chicks with guns rock… Even if they’re not the smartest chicks around. Fat people rock.

Woah! Check out all the hot moms!

I like it when the red water comes out… That’s just weird and creepy, reminds me of something I probably would have made back in middle school if I had access to (and knowledge of) a program like Flash.

It seems like alot of people just can’t get enough of Lindsay Lohan… Personally, I don’t think theres anything special about her, I mean she’s hot and all, but she’s just another chick. Anyway, here she is in a bikini.

BumWine.com is awesome, I love that logo. I’m pretty sure if they had that on a t-shirt, I’d wear it. And I really, really wanna try some Cisco.

AHHHHHH! Oh, my bad, I guess that was just a “hoax” of some sort.

This wordcount thing is really cool, it ranks words in the English language by usage, and the interface is pretty interesting.

“A former child-care worker is facing a child neglect charge after she helped her 5-year-old son smoke crack cocaine in her home, authorities said. Her son told an interviewer that he had taken his mother’s “medicine” three times. Andrea Wilkey, 40, 700 block of East 93rd Street, was arrested after the boy tested positive for crack cocaine on Aug. 7.” Well hey, at least the mother was raising her child in a good enviroment, and being a good role model for him. Right?

Hahaha… This is awesome. This, on the other hand, is just confusing.

Dong Resin is a funny word, and I like that site, too. It’s, uh… Intelligent. Lesbians!

Don’t fronk with me or I’ll come into your residence while you slumber and defecate on your floor.

Have you guys heard about that thirteen year old chick who got her arm bit off by a shark while surfing? She was back to surfing three weeks after it happened, too. Pretty crazy.

Who the hell ever heard of Timothy Leary Biscuits? My recipe rocks so much more, for no particular reason at all, and you know it. I didn’t get much feedback at all for that recipe, but tons of websites plugged it (500+) and it looks like at least a few people did try it.

If you’re a fan of prank calls, check out radioprank.com. I still think the CKY prank calls are the funniest ones I’ve ever heard.

I bet some of you have already seen totse.com, but if you haven’t, check it out, tons of interesting stuff to be read there.

Maybe not all girls are psychotic greedy bitches waiting to screw you over… But most of ‘em are!

Why would you ever want a Flatulence Deoderizor? Farts are a gift from god!

Wow, that is a lot of rolling papers. And that is alot of asses.

Want a free subscription to Mediaware magazine (whatever the hell that is)? Here you go. There’s alot more free magazines right here, but hurry up, these offers don’t usually last all that long. Sure, alot of those magazines suck and are completely uninteresting, but shut up, they’re free.

Alright, I guess that’s it for now. Check out tentoseven.com. By the way, I dunno if any of you still want gmail accounts, but I just realized I have two invites left, so… The first two people to leave comments on this post with a valid e-mail address will get gmail invites.

A Triangle Is NOT A Fruit. August 5

Filed under General by John | 20 comments

I’ve gotta say Billy Gilman is one of the most powerful voices in contemporary music today. “One Voice” is a powerful wake up call that will grab you by the balls and make you want to do something about all the wrong in the world today, and “Santa.com (I’m Gonna E-mail Santa)” is… Well, it’s actually probably one of the lamest names/ideas for a song EVAR. Actually, let’s kill this little faggot. Although to his credit I’ve been told that he is known to cover Slayer’s “Dead Skin Mask” on occasion when playing live.

My dogg John Kerry said it’s cool if I post his voice mail number on my website so you can all call him up and leave him messages: 818-759-7666 - Thanks to cyberworm, da democratz0r hax0r.

Ever wonder exactly how much gold they actually put in Goldschlager? Well, now you know… Err, that is, if you clicked on that link. By the way, it’s brought to you by the same bold individuals that determined how much beer is actually in a keg. You know what I’d like to see?…

VA-When_Pop_Goes_Death_Metal-2004-BUTT

Think about it. “I’m A Slave 4 You” covered by Nile, or Cryptopsy doing a killer cover of the newest Hoobastank track. You know this is a good idea. Drop down and get your Satan on, girl.

Is this supposed to look like… Jesus? That’s funny to me, and I’m not sure why.

this might be the coolest thing ever created with MS Paint.

Some of you (read: alot of you) should really learn to use AIM properly. I like Chokey Chicken.

I’m sure you’ve all seen some of the countless scams online offering free money, TVs, laptops, private jets, etc. I’ve become so used to seeing these that I automatically ignore them, but lately I’ve been hearing alot about freeipod.com, and after reading freeiPodguide.com, I decided to sign up for myself. I figured what the hell, I might as well give it a shot, and this one actually seems legit too, check out that freeipodguide link for yourself if you doubt the validity of this offer as I did when I first saw it. The parent site of the free iPod site is Gratis Internet, who are registered with the BBB. I’ve wanted an iPod for a pretty long time and it’d be awesome if this actually worked. Basically you sign up for a freeipod.com account, and then complete on of the free offers (free aol trial, etc) - As long as you’re not an idiot and you cancel your free trial before it runs out, you won’t get charged. Then you get five people to sign up using your referral number, and then wait for them to ship out your iPod. Anyway, if any of you are interested in signing up, I’d appreciate it if you used my referral. If you still need convincing that it’s not a scam, here is a news article about it. I have a friend working on a “conga line” script that we could all benefit from, so hopefully that will be up and working soon, I’ll keep you all updated.

Well it looks like Playstation 3 games might be up to 50 GB in size… Imagine trying to download those from an XDCC or something, that’d be pretty ridiculous.

A meth lab in a church? Sure, why not?

Haha, Jaimee Foxworth, who used to be on Family Matters, does hardcore porn now. That’s pretty funny. Girlfight!

Not that you need to hear it from me, but Tool is amazing.

So I guess I’m not the only person that’s not thrilled with H2s?

Why would you want to see your favorite celebrities without hair?

So this MP3 scene guy dies… And they release an NFO file to announce his death? That’s just… Strange.

English muthafucka, do you speak it?

I’m sure alot of you already get “Stuff” magazine for free, but for those of you who don’t, here is another free offer.

Wow, this flash is pretty damn cool, and as much as I hate to say it, it’s definitely “trippy”.

I think that this is kinda dumb: In an upcoming Simpsons episode, one of the characters will be coming out of the closet. I’m thinking Milhouse’s dad because Smithers would be too obvious, although it could be Carl or Lenny… Wait a minute, who cares? If you do, you’ll find out soon enough.

Check out the trailer for “Saw“, this movie looks like it’s gonna be pretty damn cool. I’m looking forward to the new Exorcist movie as well, pretty excited for that.

Well, looks like Paris Hilton got beat the fr0nk up.

Old Men Crying? Is this a fetish? I gotta go drink, so just be sure to read this if you like Fight Club and/or Calvin & Hobbes (I love both). Anyone else goin to Warped Tour tommorow? Watch for me, I’ll be the kid in the Misfits shirt passed out in a corner covered in vomit.