John's Crawlspace

Shoot 'Em Up | 2/9 | 11:52 PM

I have so much fun in school when we have substitute teachers, most of the time I end up convincing them I have tourettes syndrome. I twitch uncontrollably and make really loud noises, and it's great because evryone knows I'm joking, but... Well, it'd be funny if you saw it. But the sub today didn't seem to have much tolerance for the mongoloid in me.

Is it possible to fall in love online without ever even meeting the person in real life? No. Well, maybe if you have a very vivid imagination, but, the whole concept of online love just seems ridiculous to me. When it does happen... It's people like these two old fogies who are involved. If you meet online, and plan on getting married... Why not get married online? Hell, why not get married while playing Quake?

I can't even begin to imagine how much fun me and my friends would have with one of these.

Eminem took some hits of E on stage at one of his concerts, and now he's in some trouble... Maybe. Okay, I'm too tired to be summing up news articles, click here and read it yourself.

Haha, no 'net access for the AzN HoMeeZ oVeRSeeZ for a week or so - that sucks.

Yeah, this is one hell of a half-assed update, but I was busy doing other stuff tonight. I have some new sections and stuff coming soon, and that new layout as well, so... Yeah.

Chode Chowder | 2/8 | 9:41 PM

I think I have finally found a job. Though not at the most desirable places, it'll hafta do for now. I applied at this cheap-ass dollar store, and although this is the second time I applied there, this time the lady left me with the impression that I will be getting the job. I might also be working at an animal shelter for a few animals every weekend. Yeah, it sounds fruity as hell, I know, but my friend Amanda works there, and it wouldn't be that bad, plus, I need money. Anyway...

I don't think my parents are too happy with my right now. During family conversations, I always have stuff popping into my head that I just have to say, and they get mad, because it's not always approppriate. Like, my brother was talking about a poetry assignment he had to do, where he had to pick a poem that "touched him in a special way", and I said, "Oh, sort of like a child molestor, right?" That was the end of that conversation. And yesterday, my sister was telling us about how they are studying the Holocaust. Her whole class had to hide, and the teachers were Nazi Soldiers, when they found them, they would pick them up and drag them out into the hall. She said it was pretty realistic, and that some of the kids were actually pretty scared, because the teachers were yelling so loud, stuff like, "You filthy jews! Where are you!?" When they found the "jews", she said they were grabbing them by whatever they could get ahold of, and sometimes dragging them out into the hall. I said that I thought it would be funny if a real Nazi came in, all in uniform. No one would know he wasn't one of the teachers. He would come in and grab one of the kids out of class, and take them in the hall, and brutally kill them, and everyone would think it was all part of the game. Yeah, that's kinda sick, but it seemed funny at the time. Err... Well, at least my brother thought so.

Wow, I just volunteered to help out with some experiment. I hope it's fun. Oh, yeah, here's some news.

Ramen: Soup To Some, Much More To Others

Shark Attack Reports Break Record

Drug-Resistant AIDS Virus Spreading

District Sued Over Student Informant's Legal Fees

Officials Demanded Sex For Not Deporting Women

Life As A Human Punching Bag

Plugs: The Ellicit Organization, Filtered Life, and New Murderer.

NEW LAYOUT: COMING SOON!

It Makes No Sense At All. | 2/7 | 5:22 PM

I made some small changes to the site today - There is another album up for grabs in the downloads section, and a new feature on the left navigation bar which will be updated at least once a week with new pics.

Hey junkies, a new drug has hit the streets! Get a pen and paper ready, you might want to take some notes. It's called OxyContin, and it produces a high similiar to that experienced by heroin users. Eastern Kentucky is one of the first regions of the nation where abuse of the drug has caught on, and 201 dealers of the drug were arrested in a two-day crackdown. At least 59 people have OD'ed and died from the drug in the past year. OxyContin pills contain a synthetic morphine designed to be time-released. Abusers crush the pills into powder and snort it, or dilute it and inject it into their veins. It is apparently also popular in parts of Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Maryland and Maine.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, The Orgasm Machine! That's a very interesting article, and could lead to an entirely new type of home surgery-type products... Well, read it to find out what I'm talking about.

Damn, this kid needs to learn some english. Then he could be a true pimpsta like these homos.

Haha, everybody, check this out, it's Star Wars in ASCII code. Pretty cool actually, although I am certainly not a fan of the actual movies.

For all of you people who like listening to prank calls, there's a ton of them over here.

Although the tabloids have probably come up with tons of great stories explaining why Tom & Nicole are splitting up, the real reason is that Kidman did not want the couple's adopted children, Isabella, 8, and Connor, 6, to be raised as Scientologists, and instead has decided to raise them as Catholics. Read all about it here.

Three teenagers, who claimed that they were inspired by MTV's Jackass, paraded a mangled dead cat around a PetSmart pet store, although they claim the animal was dead when they found it. What a bunch of morons! They could at least be creative - That's not even funny. And to blame it on Jackass... Well, that's just typical, so... Anyway, click here to read more. Here's some other news articles.

Possible Ebola Outbreak In Canada? [Update]

88-Year-Old Nabbed in Crack Bust

Sigourney Weaver agrees to star in Alien 5

Spaniard Gets Finger Stuck In Pay Phone

Possible Bad News For US Strip Clubs

Xbox - Name Already Taken?

Mom Accused of Breaking Baby's Bones

JC Penny Sweatshop Workers Beaten

Suicidal Gunman Shot Outside White House

Aquarium Workers Ate Rare Turtle

Plugs: Dipswitch, Progstation, zero online, and Vapor Myst.

I Saw Red... | 2/6 | 5:38 PM

AIDS Factoids: Did you know that more then one in ten young gay men (especially blacks) in major US cities is infected with the AIDS virus? Tests and interviews of more than 2,400 young men in Baltimore, Dallas, New York, Los Angeles, Miami and Seattle show an average of 12 percent are HIV-positive. That's pretty scary. "Of the 293 HIV-positive men, only 85 (29 percent) knew they were infected before this testing," Valleroy said in a report presented to the 8th Conference on Retroviruses in Chicago. "The prevalence of unprotected anal sex was alarming, given that these young men grew up and live in an era of HIV/AIDS awareness." They said 46 percent of those surveyed reported unprotected anal intercourse during the previous six months. Anal sex is considered the most likely way to transmit or catch HIV, although oral sex and vaginal sex can also spread the virus, as can sharing hypodermic needles. The study found that among young gay men, 3 percent of Asians, 7 percent of whites, 15 percent of Hispanics and 30 percent of blacks are infected with the virus. "That 30 percent is an amazing statistic," said Dr. Helene Gayle, AIDS chief at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. "When people think `gay,' they think 'white.' But the people still at greatest risk are sexually active gay men, and that cuts across all races and ethnicities." Damn, that sucks. Well, I don't have much too worry about, seeing as how I'd rather die a slow, painful death, then participate in any type of homosexual activity.

Stacey Stillman, from the first season of "Survivor", has sued the network that aired the reality series. She claims the show was rigged, and that Mark Burnett (creator of the show) had private conversations with fellow contestants Dirk Been and Sean Kenniff, and convinced them to vote Stillman off of the island. To read more, click here.

Wouldn't it be great if you bought one of these tapes... And it actually worked? Imagine that? You could get any chick that you wanted. But when you really think about it, it raises questions of morality - If you dunno what I'm talking about, click here to read about "Mephisto's Subliminal Sexual Music Tapes". Personally, I think it's a load of crap.

Actress Julianne Moore still has not come to terms with the gruesome aspect of her role opposite Anthony Hopkins in "Hannibal," the long-awaited sequel to 1991 thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" that opens Friday. "I actually talked to my shrink about it," Moore said. What's odd is that says her two-year-old son Cal loves Hannibal Lecter. While they were making Hannibal in Virginia, Sir Anthony Hopkins stopped to chat to Moore and Cal during a break in filming. Moore says her nanny looked a bit worried when Hopkins wandered over to see Cal, but he's such a fan he even does his own impression now. "I say 'Do Hannibal!' And he goes 'pft pft pft pft'," she said.

Everlast's very public battle with Eminem became more than just lyrical Friday night: The Eat at Whitey's rapper/singer saw his show at St. Andrews Hall halted by a brawl — apparently sparked by his onstage anti-Eminem comments. Concertgoers threw bottles and chairs and surged to the venue's double doors after a group of unidentified men — one of whom took the mic and asked the crowd if it was "going to let this motherf---er come to Detroit and disrespect Eminem" — overtook security and forced Everlast to flee the stage. Three people were treated for injuries at Detroit Receiving Hospital, police told the Detroit Free Press on Saturday. Haha, that's one of the best news articles I have heard for awhile. Looks like Eminem's fans finally took what he is saying about Everlast to heart (no pun intended). Click here for the full story.

Who Here Likes HANSON? | 2/5 | 10:08 PM

I have been playing Perfect Dark alot lately, lately being the past two nights or so... It's actually alot of fun, more fun than Goldeneye was when I first bought it.

Anyway, I'm mad. I just spent at least an hour shoveling some ladies driveway and sidewalk and all, and only got ten bucks! Now I'm not really as greedy as I sound, but that was some heavy snow! I mean very, very heavy. It wasn't that fluffy snow that you see on cartoons or whatever. So my back is killing me. I couldn't find any other shoveling to do, because the kid across the street from me has like a nuclear-powered snowblower or something, it just like vaporizes the snow, so he is done an entire block in five minutes. Okay, not literally, but it usually ruins any chances of me making any money. I am gonna break into his garage and destroy that thing.

HOLY CRAP! Check out "The 20 Gnarliest Torture Devices Of All Time" - Some of the stuff on there makes me cringe! Well, not really, but that's only because I am completely desensitized, courtesy of Stile. But seriously, some of that stuff would hurt!

"Cool deal" - (I hate when people say that) - Sega is going to be making games for Nintendo's new hand-held system (Game Boy Advance), read about it here.

Hey, all you Europeans! Yeah, all two of you who come to this site! Read this! Feel violated yet? Plug: digital-vandal.net

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm! | 2/5 | 2:58 PM

Awwww yeah! We got out at 1:15 PM today, which is pretty sweet. I'd say it started snowing around 11:30-ish, but it wasn't sticking. Then all of a sudden it changed from flurries to like, mega-blizzard. You can barely see outside, like the snow is coming down in thick chunks, and everything is pure white. Well, pretty much. Anyway, I had all my important classes this morning, so I didn't miss anything.

No, I didn't find it on uglypeople.com. That's me, asshole.

No, I didn't find it on uglypeople.com. That's me, asshole.

Yeah, that's snow in my hair, there was alot more but most of it fell on the kitchen floor when I took my shoes off. And then the pic on the right was taken after it all melted. Why did I take pics of that? You tell me.

Man, I guess alot of kids are just total idiots. You should all know by now that you are not free to say whatever you want, whenever you want. Free speech does not exist in the United States. It doesn't really exist anywhere. But sometimes, it's for a reason. There are kids getting in alot of trouble like every couple days because they go online and send an e-mail saying "I wanna kill so-and-so", and the wrong person sees it, calls the police or the school, and the kid gets in an assload of trouble. Here is an example of what I am talking about. But then again, I guess schools really can never be too careful when it comes to the safety of the students which they are responsible for. Anyway, let's see what else is going on in the news.

A UK schoolboy sparked an international security alert after he sent an e-mail to the White House, threatening to kill United States President George W Bush. Yeah, another example of what I was talking about above. [Full Story]

Here we have an article about some stupid kid who was trying to impress these two chicks by lighting stuff on fire, and he died. I wonder if it worked? I don't think I would have been too impressed, but I'm not a girl, so I guess that's just me.

China is continuing a destabilizing buildup of short-range missiles opposite Taiwan and now has up to 300 missiles deployed. [Full Story]

Jimmy Buffett created a disturbance near the end of Sunday's Miami Heat-New York Knicks showdown, briefly stopping the game and getting kicked out of the arena as well. He was reportedly yelling, "This is bullshit!", and other profanities from his seat just behind the baseline. [Full Story]

Wordpie | 2/4 | 10:23 PM

I was in Hazleton all day at my grandparent's house. So that's why I didn't update. Not that I have to explain that to you anyway, you nosey bastard.

Holy crap! "Tattoo the Earth" tour: Rumored lineup includes: Pantera, Tool, Soulfly, Static-X, Machine Head, Coal Chamber, System Of A Down, Rob Zombie, Will Haven, Puya, Primer 55, and Clutch. Imagine that! That would be the best show ever!

Everybody check out Simplicity, nice simple design, and the site just started up but it looks like it might be pretty cool. The webmaster also sent me a pic of his can, seen below. Show me your cans!

w3rd.

You know, it just figures that when I finally find a site like this one that lets you find out what kind of crap the government has on you, police records and stuff, Pennsylvania is like the only state that isn't on there. I wanna see what my record looks like!

AJ from The Backstreet Boys was a full-blown alchoholic - Who knew?

Omaha, Nebraska's police chief Don Carey wants to know who broadcast the Van Halen song "Jump" over a police radio, while officers negotiated with a man threatening to leap from an overpass. As officers negotiated with the man to come down, the police radios were blaring the lyrics "might as well jump... go ahead jump." Am I wrong for laughing at that?

A judge has been reprimanded by the state Supreme Court for letting police draw happy or frowning faces on traffic tickets to describe a driver's attitude. [Full Story]

An 11-year-old city boy was fatally stabbed last night by another 11-year-old boy who went to a movie theater to watch an R-rated horror movie, according to police and patrons. [Full Story]

Oh yeah, and for all of you mindless wrestling fans - XFL SUCKS! Am I the only one who absolutely hates wrestling, and can find absolutely nothing entertaining in it whatsoever?

We've Gotta Connect. | 2/3 | 4:03 PM

You know what I hate? Kids who try to be hardasses. Every freaking time I leave the house there is always some kids who try to start shit with me out of nowhere. Last night I went out for a jog and some kids were getting in my face like out of nowhere, and I'm completely used to it too. I just ignore them, because they usually travel in large groups, and I wouldn't be surprised if these trashy-ass kids were "strapped". So if you are one of those kids who starts shit for no reason at all - Kill yourself. Thank you, and have a nice day.

And now, some reader mail that I found to be slightly amusing.

From: XoKORNoX99@aol.com
Subject: lol, info about crazy3k...
Date: Sat, 3 Feb 2001 01:48:47 EST

looks like dizix hacked crazy3k.com
i think thats really funny becuz that site was just full of little punks. just thought i'd let you know.
www.koRn5.com -shameless self promotion.

Thanks, uh... Korn. Yeah, crazy3k was definitely a crappy site. Those little bastards were just looking to get hacked. They HaXoReD my guestbook though, so they taught me not to mess with them. Anyway, let's see what's going on in the news...

Eminem has been banned from switching on his chainsaw when he performs on stage in Manchester. The Manchester Evening News Arena acted after hearing the rapper brandished a working chainsaw in Hamburg. Following discussions with health and safety officials in Manchester, the arena decided to impose restrictions. Jo Holcroft, spokesman for the arena, told the Daily Telegraph: "He will have to appear minus the chain - it will be removed. In addition, he will not be able to plug it in. It will not be a live chainsaw." Eminem is at the Manchester Evening News Arena on February 8 and London Docklands Arena on February 9 and 10. All three dates are sold out.

Looks like Leo DiCaprio got fed-up with the paparazzi, and threw horse crap in an unlucky news reporters face. This took place during the filming of Gangs of New York, starring DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz. Alot of people hate Leo, and would have (uncreatively) spelled his name "DiCrapio" or something, but I don't have a problem with him at all. In fact, ever since I saw him in "The Beach", I have been a fan, I think he's a good actor. Anyway, click here to read the full article.

Everybody check out Slapnuts - Yup, it's finally back up and running again!

Awww Yeah. | 2/2 | 11:59 PM

I have seen many things in my time... But this has got to be one of the most dileberately retarted group of morons I have ever seen in my entire life.

Haha, I want one of these!

Forget The Real World, it's time for The Real Real World, brought to you by none other then The Upright Citizens Brigade.

Chodesmack | 2/2 | 7:11 PM

Wow, what could possibly be more boring then origami?

Thirsty? Grab some bong water, and drink up!

I would seriously have so much fun with a green laser pen. Those things are really powerful, you could just like melt peoples eyes with it. Well, not literally, but it wouldn't be quite pleasant to have that thing shined in your eye. Too bad the stupid thing costs a little bit more money then I am willing to spend.

Weird - In Spain, the legal age of consent is 12. So basically, 12-year-olds are considered responsible and mature enough to decide whether or not they should have sex. Oh yeah, in Virginia, homosexuality is illegal, it's categorized as a felony, punishable with up to 20 years of prison. It must suck to be a fag in Virginia.

Vajoona! | 2/2 | 7:15 AM

Wow, this page simply amazes me.

"They call me White Devil, Black Jesus"

I have a question: Is hell exothermic or endothermic?

Super Bowl fans never knew it, but police video cameras focused on their faces, one by one, as they streamed through the turnstiles in Tampa on Sunday. Cables instantly carried the images to computers, which spent less than a second comparing them with thousands of digital portraits of known criminals and suspected terrorists. Kinda scary, isn't it?

Ah, The Wonder Years. I love that show. Did you know that Alicia Silverstone was once in one of the episodes? Well, now you do.

Under Your Skin | 2/1 | 7:11 AM

I think George Bush needs to start checking whether his mic is on or not before he makes comments that he wouldn't want everyone to hear, since it's not the first time that something like this has happened.

Hey, free heroin!

This is the funniest news article I have read for a while - Here is an excerpt: "A truck driver arrested for possession of child pornography told police he uses photos of children engaged in sexual acts to stay alert at the wheel during long hauls. Dana Turner, 40, of Galesburg said the photos made him angry, because he can't understand why adults would portray young children in such a manner. He said he used the photos to get angry so he would not fall asleep on the road, according to the police report." Damn, what an idiot. But then again, how much fun would the news be without idiots?

Here's a funny spoof article from The Onion - And I'm up out this biatch.

Flubber! | 1/31 | 10:29 PM

I have been hearing alot about this lately, what a moron that kid must be. People like him are just asking to get caught. I'd never even try to do something stupid like those Eric and Dylan kids from Columbine, but if I did, I would do it right, dammit. (No "terroristic threats" charges for me, thanks.) But it is because of morons that walk into schools with guns, that alot of innocent people suffer. This next article is a perfect example of what I am talking about.

An 8-year-old boy was suspended from school for 3 days after pointing a breaded chicken finger at a teacher and saying, "Pow, pow, pow." Now how ridiculous is that? But then again... I guess you never can be too careful. But if they are gonna do that, why not fire the lunch lady who made the chicken wing? And sue the company that sold the frozen chicken meat to the school? And hell, sue Farmer Dan who raised the chicken too.

On another note, I have been hearing from numerous sources that Tupac is still alive. yeah,w e've all heard it before, but people are saying that they heard it on the radio and stuff. The only info I have as of right now is that he is being kept in a Mexican prison right now, and he will eventually be sent to a US Prison, and tried for many crimes, such as tax fraud. Well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Oh yeah. If you are 110 years old, don't expect a 55-year-old chick to marry you. Chances are, it's not gonna happen... I mean come on, not all of us are as lucky as this guy.

Feels So Good | 1/31 | 5:09 PM

Well, here's another example of musicians being used as scapegoats. Slayer are being sued by the parents of a 15 year-old girl who was murdered by three teenage boys who lured the girl to her death and performed seuxal acts on her after she was dead. The boys are now all serving life sentences and made comments that they liked to stay up late at night doing drugs and listening to Slayer. The family claims the songs "Postmortem" and "Dead Skin Mask" gave the boys specific instructions on how to track down, murder, and rape the girl. Slayer and their record label are using the First Ammendment as their defense. What a load of crap, it's retarted that they would even attempt to blame this on a song. Anyway, I guess I'll post some more music news while I'm at it.

Detroit rapper Eminem will repay Marilyn Manson for his appearance in Eminem's "The Way I Am" video. He will be remixing Manson's "Fight Song".

Chi, bassist from the Deftones cut off his "dreads". They will be performing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on Feb. 9th.

Another remake is in the midst in the movie industry. This time it's the 1971 children's classic, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. What does this have to do with music you ask? Well it looks like none other than Marilyn Manson is going to play the part of Willy Wonka, originally made famous by Gene Wilder all those years ago. "Willie Wonka is one of my favourite movies and I think I can play that role like no one else." Manson explained. "I really see the movie as a metaphor. I see Willy Wonka as Satan because he presents people with the temptation of picking good or evil, and they all pick evil." Manson realizes the movie is not exactly a horror story, and focuses on the fact that Charlie Bucket does a good and honest deed, which is rarely the dominant quality in a young boy. Manson is also keep to co-produce the movie, which will be directed with Tim Burton. On Manson's CD, "Smells Like Children", he had a prelude, called "The Family Trip", which contained a part from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, and I always thought it would be cool if he redid the movie. His "creepy" style would fit in quite nicely, since that movie always freaked me out when I was younger.

A Perfect Circle will have a remix album coming out February 13th. Hopefully this will include NIN bassist/programmer Danny Lohner's "Judith" remix which was previously only released on the Australian single...

Okay, that's enough music news for now. I'd post some normal news, but not alot of interesting stuff is happening. Just the same old stuff...

Lameking | 1/31 | 7:19 AM

Lameking is one of my favorite websites right now. The stuff he posts just cracks me up. Look at some of these AIM conversations. This one is my favorite. I don't have time to post anything else, because I gotta get to school.

Choda Boy! | 1/30 | 5:44 PM

Have a cigar. Don't smoke? Have an emu burger. Or better yet, have a second dose of lego porn.

Police arrested a West Carrolton man after security officers at a Meijer store caught him watching a pornographic video in the store's electronics department. Read more about that here. I have done stuff just liek that. In stores that have WebTV, I always go to goatse.cx, or something equally disgusting, and then leave it on the screen, it's usually pretty damn funny.

Wouldn't it suck if your parents named you earthquake? I think so. Here are some other names that would suck to have.

Linus

Baxter

Mertle

Obadiah

Penelope

Rupert

Sherbert

Skeeter

Waldorf

Alfonzo

Boomer

Cheerio

Cornwall

Guy

Earl

Chunk

Jude

Farfenhyden

AC is the best band ever. Period.

Well this has been a short update, but I'm gonna go get some stuff done. I will most likely update again later tonight.

Shit! | 1/30 | 7:17 AM

Well this is just great. West-beach isn't gonna be hosting sites for much longer, and from what I understand the new hosting is going to cost money. Well, me being job-less and all, I can't afford to pay just to keep this damn site up, so what does this mean to you? Well, I dunno, we'll just have to wait and see. But chances are it's going down, I'm seriously sick of the hassle.

I got this in my e-mail; It's about something I posted a few days ago, check it out.

You know what's great? 4-year-old boxers. Seeing those little bastards duke it out in the ring just gives me a rush that I can't get anywhere else... Except for when I go here.

With show's like MTV's Jackass becoming all the rage, is anyone surprised when stuff like this happens?

Not only does Saddam have an assload of Playstation 2's, now he has two nukes... Look! Ah, who cares? I sure as hell don't.

She Broke My heart, So I Broke Her Jaw. | 1/26 | 10:09 AM

Look at what is listed as the description of my page in the search results when searching for "comedy central bush daughter" on google.com. Pretty funny, eh?

Ahmedabad, say it with me now! Ah-Me-Da-Bad. Yeah, it's some place in India. About 10:16 PM last night, there was a 45-second earthquake that measured 7.9 on the Richter scale. The Indian Meteorological Department says it was the region's most intense quake in half a century, and the second worst quake of the year. I never heard about the other earthquake that was supposedly worse then this one, it occured on January 13th in El Salvador, and measured 7.6 on the Richter scale. It killed at least 700 people, and made 10 percent of that country's population homeless. Damn. Sucks to live in either of those places. No earthquakes in Philly!

Anyway, I am catching a 2:45 train to go away for the weekend, I can't wait. The only time I ever have fun is when I go... Well, you know where. Anyway, peace out chonkmiesters.

Job Hunting. | 1/25 | 8:50 PM

Okay, I never knew it would be this hard to get a job! I have applied at at least ten different places, and I haven't heard from any of them! They must be checking my background on the police computers or something. I bet one of those damn New Cumberland cops got into my record and put something in like "brutally raped an entire kindergarten" or "keeps retarted children in kennels in his basement." I wouldn't be surprised.

Anyway, I was walking down to this shopping plaza to apply at some more places for a job, and on the way, like 6 kid come running up to me and started getting in my face. They asked where I live, and I said "Drexel Hill". So they were jumping up and down and yelling like "Aight bish, where yo boiz at!? I think they wanted to "rumble." They were screaming at me about how they hated the "rich pussy-ass bitches" from Drexel Hill, but all I could really hear was the f-word, most of what they were saying was in ebonics, so I couldn't understand it. Well, they ended up leaving me alone, but it was pretty funny. I never go over there, because I don't like that area. Well, they showed me. I'll never go on them homies turf again. Oh yeah, and the funny part was, most of them were white.

See Spot Run. | 1/25 | 4:57 PM

Damn, I just woke up. How's that for sleeeping in? Well, I had exams Tuesday and Wednesday, so I have off today and tommorow. Praise Allah!

Last night, I rented Trainspotting and Orgazmo. Trainspotting was a bit hard to follow, because of the accents... In fact, I had to rewind at leas half of the scenes just to try to understand what the hell was going on. But it was interesting to say the least, if you ask me, it was a combination of Go and Kids, with a Scottish twist. Orgazmo was pretty damn funny, a definite must-see for those of you with an "immature" sense of humor.

Eminem is in the news, again. What else is new? It seems reporters just casually write about him when they have nothing better to do. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, he's my favorite recording artist out there, out of all genres of music, I mean I worship everything he does, but I do believe he gets more media then he deserves. Hey wait, I have an idea... I don't like gay people. Did you hear that? Can I be in the news too? Ah, well anyway, check out the article here.

All of you webmasters out there looking for some hits should really check out Freakfarm's Topsites. Topsites are a great way to increase your viewing audience, and this one is definitely one of the better ones, so check it out.

Well, it looks like Britney has a dirty mouth after all. Click here to hear it for yourself - Ohhhhhhhhhh! No, but all joking aside, she really isn't a good role model for teenage girls, at least in my opinion. Not that this "cussing" thing is anything new, I have seen her on MTV cussing before too, she was trying to get into some car, and she banged her leg or something, and they had to beep out like three words that she said. I don't think this is all tha funny, but I'm sure you'll eat it up.

I don't like Limp Bizkit, but I think Wes Borland is a cool guy, not that I know him personally or anything, but he started his own side project, called Big Dumb Face, and it definitely has some potential... We'll just hafta wait til the first single hits the airwaves (or Napster - Actually, I believe it already did.)

And now - Headlines.

Man accidentally saws off hand, shoots nails into head.

White House offices left "trashed".

Castro hopes Bush is "not as stupid as he seems".

Women in body bag still alive!

Study shows rats dream about mazes.

Horny goats won't stop making noise.

Google is not too fond of Bush.

Little boy's fort worth $234,300.

Burglar's skeleton found in chimney.

Come Out And Play | 1/24 | 2:54 PM

It looks like someone threw together a site with a hot chicks picture on it, and spammed it all over IRC. Well, on the page, the e-mail address provided is really intek's e-mail, so now he is getting tons of e-mails from horny old pedophiles. He posted some of these mails here, and I was laughing pretty hard when I read them!

This site is pretty messed up. I don't think stuff like that should be allowed to happen - But at the same time, I am a serious advocate for freedom of speech - Hypocritical of me? Yeah, I realize it is, but certain things just aren't right, and stuffing kittens into tiny glass jars seems like it might be one of them.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, spit's at Spice Girl Mel B's sister! Well, it looks like someone did. There's gonna be hell to pay.

Hey, big surprise - Sega is haulting production on Dreamcast. That really sucks, the system is like a year old, if that. Sega sucks.

They call me "The Executioner" - Who the hell are you? Find out here.

In 5 years, they'll both be hookers.

Wheat Crackers. | 1/22 | 9:51 PM

Super short post tonight, because I have exams tommorow, and I am busy talkin to some people that I would rather talk to then work on my site. Um, go read this, I read almost the whole thing, very interesting.

Dissapear | 1/21 | 10:18 PM

De-railed.org is back up and running again! Funny how even though I came up with the name for this site, I never get linked on it. Oh well, check it out anyway.

Have you ever had a strange urge to bathe, not in water, nor chocolate but in a jelly? Well, now you can make your dream come true, thanks to JellyBath... Freak.

Ahhh... Sundays are perfect for kicking back with a warm cup of tea and reading some nice lesbian poetry... No, not really, unless you're a feminist or something.

I just made the perfect paper airplane, and found out what that big thing in my backyard is - I can now die a happy man.

Gross. Gross. Stupid. Gross. Gross. Stupid.

Check out the sweet new layout over at Digital Destination. Oh yeah, while I'm at it, I'm gonna plug some other sites that asked nicely, and are also cool sites: Quirkyness, emotion, and last, but not least, conception :// design.

_____ | 1/21 | 1:20 AM

I don't understand why life has to be the way it is. Why do some people have all the good luck, and others have no luck at all? I don't know if I felt that my life sucked or not before it took a turn for the worse, but if I did, I must have been pretty damn ignorant, because the fact remained that things could have always been worse... And they sure as hell did get worse. I know I talk about this alot, so if you don't like it, don't read it. Since I don't even have one person I can talk to about this shit, this is my only way of venting.

Moving here was, without a doubt, the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I'm not quite sure if I was happy with my life before I moved, but right now I am feeling so depressed that things don't seem like they could get any worse. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I "had it all", but I sure as hell had alot more then I do now. Ryan, who was my best guy friend, I barely ever talk to anymore. Come to think of it, I rarely talk to any of my close friends anymore, other then the occasional instant message, which really doesn't mean much. Crystal, my closest female friend, she meant the world to me. I never thought we would lose touch, she just seemed too great, I never pictured us even slightly drifting away from one another, but... Well, living two hours away from someone is quite a bitch - And now I barely ever talk to her. The last time I talked to her on the phone was at least two weeks ago, but that's partially my fault, since I have become overly insecure and feel like she doesn't even want to talk to me. The people who I considered my best friends were very compatible with me, they understood me and my odd sense of humor, and I could talk to them about shit. Out here in Drexel Hill, I have yet to find one person like that, and I have lived here close to a year and a half. I don't know why I even try to meet people, there is no point. I have met a few cool people at school, but they are too busy with their own lives to hang out with me, or so I have convinced myself. The few times I have gone out on a limb and asked someone to hang out, it has more or less gone to shit. I recently asked a girl I sort of liked to hang out, and we did, twice, but it just... It wasn't at all what I had hoped for, and I know I'm not being picky... I dunno, I'm not even making sense to myself now.

Speaking of girls, I am now fully convinced that girls only want to be with the asshole guys, regardless of what they say. "Nice guys finish last" has been the theme song for my luck (or lack thereof) with the opposite sex, since I moved here. They say they want a "sweet" guy who isn't going to hurt their feelings, but then they turn right around and go out with the poster boy of jerk-offs. I will never understand girls. Yet I am the guy who is always there to listen to them cry and comfort them after they got hurt. Now isn't that ironic? You know they are gonna go right back and do it again.

See? That helped a little. I'm not as pissed off as I was about twenty minutes ago. I'm typing this on the computer up in my room, so I'm not sure if I'm even going to post it on my website or not.

Please Note: To anyone who has never been here before, this is not a journal/weblog/rant/whatever site. I, for the most part, hate sites like those, and wouldn't waste my time making one. Once in a while I just need to "vent", and since I have no one to talk to, this is my only alternative. Although breaking glass bottles helps too.

Yum Yum. | 1/20 | 7:08 PM

Those damn prostitutes - Tying there customers to trees... Who do they think they are? No hoe of mine would be doin that - I keep my hoes in check!

This is really interesting. If you're a movie fan, check it out.

From sperm theft to chocolate spas to strippers trying to cheat taxes, if it's weird, and in the news - You'll read about it here.

Crocodile puts the bite on 'Crocodile Hunter'

Fourth-grade e-mail project draws 115,000 responses so far.

Man saves dog from house fire with mouth-to-mouth.

Canuck man sues his crack dealers for damages.

Belgium government agrees to legalize cannabis.

Lebanese trampolinist breaches Israeli security.

Wal-Mart fires employee who turned in photos of child abuse.

Hitler to join Metallica?

Train porters arrested for monkey business.

'Queens Of The Stone Age' apologize for nude show in Rio.

This is pretty funny, Bill Maher compared "retarded children" to his pet dogs, saying, "They're sweet. They're kind. But they don't mentally advance at all." Yeah, I bet there are tons of people on his ass after that one.

She's 747, I'm anti-aircraft. | 1/20 | 12:22 AM

That's Kalen, she's a cool girl, and sexy as well, as you can see in the above image, so click on the image and check out her site, or I will gnaw my leg off. I am so tired it's not even funny, so this is all I am posting tonight.

I'm Sorry, There Must Be A Mix-Up. | 1/18 | 4:13 PM

I watched part of "The Other Sister" today, and I don't understand what kind of wierdo would write/direct a movie like that. If you haven't seen it or heard about it, it's basically the story of two retarted twenty-somethings who gradually gain each other's trust and I'm assuming they end up falling in love or something. But the main characters are retarted people! I mean, it get's kind of frustrating listening to them stutter and stuff after awhile. People deal with the mentally retarted in real life, and that's great, but why would anyone want to watch a movie about it? If it were a documentray or something about a true story, that would be different. If they saved poodles from a burning apartment building, or did something commemorable, then I would understand why a movie was made about it. I'm not saying that retarted peopel should have to "earn" a role in a movie by achieving something great, I just don't understand the point of the movie.

Well, since Scour Exchange isn't up and running anymore, I have been looking for an alternative, and so far, WinMX looks like the next best thing. I just want it to get popular, so more types of files will be available, like episodes of TV shows - Which was the main reason why I used Scour Exchange in the first place, to download UCB episodes. Anyway, click here to download WinMX.

It's scary how much information you can find on an individual through the internet. I found Mizi's baby picture here, and I don't think he even knows that it is on the internet. Creepy, isn't it?

Eminem's mom responded to the stuff that he said about her, and you can download the MP3's by clicking on the links below.

01 id-x_ft._eminems_mom-set_the_record_straight.mp3
02 id-x_ft._eminems_mom-dear_marshall_(open_letter).mp3
03 id-x_ft._eminems_mom-set_the_record_straight_(long).mp3

Maybe that's the type of stuff that makes people hate the mainstream? Who knows.

I'm Right Here Shorty. | 1/17 | 10:25 PM

I'm still trying to download the internet... I haven't got out of this seat for days... When will it end?

Narf | 1/16 | 9:39 PM

The image to the left was made using this site, pretty impressive java applet. Umm, I'm not gay. No, I don't play with dolls. Okay, okay, that was one time, and it was a long time ago! Leave me alone! At least Chris thought it was cool!

Next time you are doing E, you should consider the possibility that it may not contain any MDMA, and might actually have something else in it - Maybe it's a placebo, and has nothing in it at all. Well, now you can be sure, with EZ Test.

If you only read one news article today... Read this one. If you're like me, it will keep you thinking for a while. I wanna know what it is, dammit! I bet it is like a new kind of refrigerator, or something retarted like that.

Ahhh, originality. Something many strive for, but few achieve. Unfortunately, failed attempts sometimes end up like this site - Something no one wants to see. Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are gonna be a hit.

I saw these homos perform on the TV show FarmClub, and they were the worst freaking rappers ever. I can't believe how retarted they are. Listen to this song, and you'll know what I mean. It is now officially the gayest song I have ever heard.

I wouldn't consider myself a very angry person, but this just gets me angry! How am I supposed to share my hate music with my fellow skinheads now?

Well I'm Down, And You're Killing Me | 1/15 | 6:11 PM

Finally! I saved up enough money to buy one of those awesome scooters! I'm so excited - Wait 'til everyone sees my sweet new method of transportation - They'll all be so jealous!

Hmmm... Here are some odd toilet paper facts.

The average tear is 5.90 sheets of TP.

44% wipe from front to back from behind their backs.

60% look at the paper after they wipe.

42% fold, 33% crumple, 8% do both fold and crumple, 6% wrap it around their hands.

50% say that they have wiped with leaves.

8% have wiped with their hands.

2% have wiped with money!

Did you know that within 24 hours, you will forget 80% of what you learned today? This means that chances are, you might not even remember that tommorow. Although now that I pointed it out to you, you will probably try to remember it, so... Crap, I am giving myself a headache... Here's some news.

Scientists Link Eye Cancer To Cell Phones

Moon Landings: Fake?

Harm A Fish, Get Sued?

Escaped Inmate Gets Lost; Calls Police

Soon I'll Let You Go | 1/15 | 1:29 AM

Since there wasn't much to do at my grandparent's house, my cousin, my older sis and I watched some movies. I watched "Dirty Work" for probably the 10th time, that is one of my favorite movies. Then we watched "Teaching Mrs. Tingle", "Stigmata", and part of "eXistenZ", which I have to say was officially the wierdest movie I have ever seen in my entire life. It was beyond wierd. How the person who wrote the script for this movie got people to agree to play the parts, I will never know.

Anyway, alot of you seemed to think that the two previous "freestyles" that I did (1, 2) were pretty amusing, so I did a third one. You can read it by clicking here. No chodes were harmed in the making of this update.

Plug: m0rsetka

I Can See Through You | 1/13 | 11:00 AM

Anyone remember that movie "The Neverending Story"? Well, now there is a video game coming out based on the movie. Don't believe me? See for yourself. Anyway, here's some news.

I actually know some kids who did something very similiar to this, but they used baseball bats. Funny in a "should I be laughing at that?" sort of way. Humor at another persons expense is becoming quite the trend nowadays.

Eggghhh....

Every once in a while, I find a news story so wierd, I just have to post the whole thing on my site. This is one of those stories... A man who has kept one arm in the air for 24 years is being worshipped by millions gathering for a Hindu festival in India. Mahant Amar Baharati, known as the one-armed baba, is revered throughout India. His hand has seized into an awkward knot and his fingernails have turned into twisted claws. His arm is also completely numb, reports The Mirror. "By holding his arm in the air he gains long life and other powers," one of his disciples says. The baba pays little attention to gawking pilgrims as he shares a pipe stuffed with hashish with other holy men. Around 70 million Hindus are expected near the city of Allahabad to celebrate the festival of Kumbh Mela... Exactly.

I Can't Believe It's Not Buddha!

Pin-Up Priest Causes Controversy

Accidental Porn Advertising

Christian Catches A Good Old-Fashioned Passionate Ass Whoopin'

And now, two things that I wouldn't expect any of you to care about. First of all, yes, you close your eyes when you sneeze. I told you that you wouldn't care. Secondly, I am leaving for Hazelton in like ten minutes, and I won't be back until tommorow.

Blah | 1/12 | 7:26 PM

Tool have set "Systema Encéphale" as the title for their upcoming new album which was produced by David Bottrill (Nothingface, Ultraspank) and will be released on April 17th through Volcano/Jive. Current track titles for the effort include:

"Malfeasance"
"U.V.R."
"Numbereft"
"Encephatalis"
"Musick"
"Coeliacus"
"Pain Canal"
"Lactation"
"Smyrma"
"Riverchrist"

In other news, the band have also addressed the rumor that porn star Ron Jeremy was being eyed to be the groups new manager. They have stated that there is no truth to it what so ever.

®#@%$!@*®&%*&!!

This site is so cool! So check it out, grab a bowl of cereal (or some other food) and hop in front of the TV, just like you did when you were a lil' kid!

And now, the messed-up link of the day.

Life Sucks (Again) | 1/11 | 5:41 PM

So much wierd stuff happens every day, that when I read stuff like this, it doesn't surprise me at all.

The Upright Citizens Brigade are bringing their legendary long-form improv show A.S.S.S.S.C.A.T. to Los Angeles for a month-long run at The ImprovOlympic West. The show will run on Wednesdays and Thursdays, January 10, 11, 17, 18, 24, 25, 31 and February 1 with shows at 7:30 PM and 9:30 PM each night. Tickets are $7 and can be purchased by calling (323) 962-7560. Guest monologists set to appear include Jack Black (Tenacious D), David Cross (Mr. Show), Andy Daly (MadTV), Jeff Garlin (Curb Your Enthusiasm), Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show), and Moon Zappa (journalist). Guest performers are also scheduled to appear. Previous guest performers include Horatio Sanz, Rachel Dratch, Jerry Minor and Tina Fey from "Saturday Night Live," Brian Stack, Brian McCann and Jon Glaser from "Late Night with Conan O'Brien."

What I wouldn't give to go and see that. UCB was seriously like the funniest show, I can't believe they took it off of the air. Now I rarely watch TV, there is never anything worth watching anymore. If you live anywhere near LA, make sure you go and see that.

Plugs: cpvfx, Reset 2K, lukycharm.com, and Calvin's Corner.

Tired. | 1/10 | 11:31 PM

Woah! Super hot extreme big-gulp action!

Hey girls, want to lose some weight? Well have I got news for you! This revolutionary new candy will work wonders for your body! Just... Trust me. No, just eat it. Seriously, you'll thank me later.

Next time you buy a drink at a convenience store, make sure it's not a sexual stimulant - Not that it matters, those so-called "sexual stimulants" probably don't do anything anyway.

Shitty Update | 1/8 | 7:36 PM

Be sure to check out x-ph.com, it's a pretty cool site. Oh yeah, and I must have forgotten to link Brendan's site, The Grafite Network, but since he isn't all about how much traffic he gets, he left my link up regardless, and I respect that. So everybody check out The Grafite Network, and feel the naked power.

Mmmmmm... Lego Porn... I know it's wrong, but it feels so right!

I love the drawings on explodingdog.com, they are so simple, but you gotta love 'em. I visit this site alot.

No more nuts for you, lady!

Yeah, this is quite a half-assed update, but I am like drowning in school work.

Come & Dance Wif Me | 1/7 | 10:56 PM

Not even evil science can explain why anyone would find the images on this page to be the least bit arousing.

Girls + Facial Hair = BAD

Watch out mom! The Pokemon are on the loose, molesting small children all over the world!

Vanilla Ice is hard at work in the recording studios, working on a new album, tentatively titled "Bomb the System", which will feature such acts as Insane Clown Posse and Lenny Kravitz. How cool is that? Vanilla Ice is the man! Actually, he blows, but it's trendy to lik ehim, since he is the poster-child for has-beens. Oh yeah, he spent the night in jail after being arrested following a domestic dispute. Apparently he placed his hand over his wife Laura's mouth "to shut her up" as the couple drove on Interstate 595 in Florida. He admitted to ripping out some of her hair, but said he did so to keep her from jumping out of the truck's window. His wife told police she feared her husband and that the couple's children witnessed the offense. The singer, who in 1990 sold 15 million copies of the single Ice, Ice Baby, was arrested Wednesday and released from Broward County Jail the next day on $3,500 bail. "We had a heated argument," he said. "That's about it. It's not that big of a deal. I would never hit my wife or any girl or anything like that ... I love my wife, I love my kids, my life's fine, everything's good, no hitting, no drugs."

THIS IS DISTURBING.

A student was sent to a mental ward after he complained about a play which depicted Jesus as homosexual. Read more here.

This is pretty amusing - Some moron was so engrossed in his game of Everquest that he squeezed his 9-month-old son to make him stop crying, and then tossed him in the closet. Read more here.

I Don't Need That Again. | 1/6 | 8:23 PM

Alot of news articles, especially this one, would be so much better if they had pictures to go along with the story. I like pictures.

In certain cases, being a cop would have it's benefits. "Excuse me mam, I'm gonng have to ask you to remove your shirt." See? And I could get all the details on weird-ass cases like this one. Of course, your clothe-removing powers would eventually have to come to a hault, if you abused them. Alright, this is a really lame post.

Star Wars: Episode II - One movie I'm not looking forward to. I never was much of a Star Wars fan. But for all you C-3PO-worshipping freaks out there, click here to see a bunch of leaked images from the movie.

Okay, I'm gonna go rent X-Men on PPV, since I have heard it's pretty good.

Pretty Interesting! | 1/6 | 1:53 PM

Philips is currently advertising it's DVD-RW technology, which will most likely replace the VCR over time. The DVD-RW discs which are being used are dual-sided with a capacity of 4.7 GB per side - that's the equivalent of up to 4 hours of video per side. Each disc can be rewritten over 1000 times. DVD-RW video media will be available in 1, 2, 3 & 4 hours per disc, depending on quality setting. Initially there will be no dual-sided disc, so the maximum recording time will be 4 hours. Discs recorded on a DVD-RW Recorder will not only be playable on PC DVD-RW drives, but on all DVD-ROM drives & Consumer DVD players. The DVD-RW Recorder will automatically create DVD-Video compatible menus & playlists containing the recorded data on a disc. The combination of a TiVo box, to record your favorite series and a DVD Video Recorder, to save your favorite movies would surely be the ultimate video experience! Consumer DVD-RW Video Recorders from Philips & Thomson/RCA and the HP DVD-RW drive for the PC, will be available in Q3 2001. No pricing is available as of yet, but I can't wait to get my hands on one of those... Damn.

It Went *Crunch* | 1/6 | 12:54 AM

Okay, I promised I would plug the following sites - icyman's crib, afterlife 2001, afterlife 2001 top 200, Frozen Ice Online, and Digital Destination. I am tired. Goodnight.

Scooby Dooby Doo, Where Are You? | 1/5 | 7:01 AM

I didn't update last night because I have been so tired, and falling asleep in as many classes as I have been lately is not a good thing, so when I got home from school I went to sleep. So here's an update to make up for what I didn't do last night.

Here is yet another look back at some of the strange events that took place during the past year. Ah, memories... Yeah, right.

It seems as though it takes a few days for stories to show up in the news after they occur. Here is a story about a women who was forced, by a cop, to strip down to her panties and walk home half-naked. What kind of ass would wanna see this chick half-naked anyway? I dunno, but I bet she would be good friends with Tom Alciere, who is a newly elected Republican state lawmaker in New Hampshire, if she ever met him. He's got some pretty strong anti-cop views that he has recently gone public with. He said that he loves it when someone kills a police officer, and he is "too chicken" to do it himself. Click here to read the article on that, and here's another New Years article.

I think this article is pretty interesting, it's a look back at the year in the internet world, with a humorous twist. Check it out.

Hahaha, dog meat is no longer allowed to be used in food in Taiwan. That's pretty funny, it shows that they were using it all along after all.

Speaking of good news, Saddam Hussein is dead. Wait, good news? Okay, that was kinda harsh... Saddam is a pretty nice guy, once you get to know him. If any of you who are reading this happen to see him, tell him John said "what's up, bitch?". Oh yeah, and tell him I said thanks for all of the free meals.

Let's see what is going on in the world of crime... Rapists cutting off their own genitals (here), 19-year-old kills a 13-year-old over a slice of friggin' bread (here), perv arrested for filming up chicks skirts (here), soldier steals 25 hand-grenades with intent to distribute them to friends as Christmas presents (here), man loses mah-jongg game, bites off opponents nose in frustration (here)

Hey there kiddos ! Are you bored? Then head on over to your newest laundromat, and play the coolest new game! Everyone is doing it!

Wow, reading this article makes me think that maybe there is hope for the war against tobacco after all. Haha, I love The Satyr.

I think that FOX's upcoming show, "Temptation Island", looks really interesting. Of course, a good thing like this can't exist without people trying to get rid of it. Yeah, the watchdog groups are attacking the show already, and it hasn't even made it's debut yet. You can read more about that here. Dammit, I wanna go to Temptation Island"!

Well, I'd update more, but I have to go to my support group, so that's all for now. Check out this article - "Profile of a Napsturbator."

Life Seriously Sucks. | 1/3 | 10:09 PM

Well, this is it. My Health teacher is requesting that I recieve a "withdrawal failure", which means that I will flunk the course and have to take it again next year. Now, if I had brought this upon myself, it would be one thing. But I am very, very pissed off, because I do not deserve it. I used to be a total smart-ass in class, but even though I've stopped due to disciplinary threats, the majority of the class still thinks that everything I do is hilarious. I was up at th eboard today, checking things off as people said them, and everytime I wrote a checkmark, people thought I was trying to be funny, so I turned around and said "Stop laughing guys, I'm not trying to be funny, seriously", or something along those lines, and he made me sit down. Not wanting to get suspended for "insubordination" (refusing to follow a teachers orders), I sat down without saying anything. Now if that isn't good behavior, I don't know what is. Most kids would have argued back, or at least rolled their eyes and sighed. Whatever, I have no say in what happens now.

Black Hole Sun | 1/2 | 10:06 PM

I know it's a little late to be posting about New Years, but mine was great. If you have any crazy stories from New Years, e-mail them to me and I'll post them. The day after New Years, we went out with my friend's video camera, and I did some really crazy stuff. Almost got my ass kicked, it was pretty funny - And we got it all on tape. If I ever get a video capture card, I'd be more then happy to post it on here.

Hey, all you Diablo fans out there, check this out.

When I grow up, I want to be a professional photographer.

And now, some stupid news.

Dumbest Products Of 2000

Witch Steals Mans Penis

Evil Devil Monkies

Ahhh... It's so cold... Hey, wanna make fifty bucks, fast and easy? Make a naughty snowman!

Ralphage | 1/1 | 9:36 PM

Head is pounding... But I had fun last night. Happy New Years. I'm tired. CyberFunk is finally back up. Praise the Lord. Well, John is tired. No more update.