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It happens every year... Some moron goes on ebay and thinks he is paying 400 dollars for this year's hottest system... When in reality he is only bidding on the box. Last year it happened with Playstation 2, and this time it was with an X-Box. How stupid can you get?
Dammit, I'm pretty PO'ed right now... Janet Reno still hasn't made the list! Males of America need to wake the hell up, and recognize true beauty.
WHAT THE HELL!? Who buys that stuff? Seriously... That's messed up, not to mention wierd.
Haha, I have this dumb hooker convinced that I'm from an adult talent agency, and that I want to cast her in a porno. I was lookin over some bulletin boards, I don't remember how I found it, but I saw her saying she wanted to star in an adult film, so I e-mailed her the following...
From: John Vantine
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2001 10:35 PM
To: KIMBERLY
Subject: Adult Video Talent Agency
Hello, my name is John Vantine, and I'm from Triple Crown Entertainment. We are known all over the world for our line quality adult products. We are seeking talent in the United States, preferrably amateurs, and were pointed in your direction. We have locations all over the United States, and it's most likely you wouldn't have to travel far if you were interested in the following proposition: Would you be at all interested in being examined and possibly starring in an adult film? If so, your immediate response is apprecciated.
-John Vantine
TCE: Vaginal Tester/Public Relations
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I just realized that didn't sound professional at all... But then again, I doubt the guys who cast chicks for pornos are the smartest people anyway. Here's what she wrote back...
From: KIMBERLY
Subject: Re: Adult Video Talent Agency
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2001 18:05:19
Hi,
Thanks for talking to me . My name is kim and I would like to do adult video's I am sexually flexible, std/drug free 40DD. Heres my picsdrop me a line if your interested.
kimberly
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Damn... She included pics, and let me tell you, they weren't a pretty site. I'm not making this up, she seriously looked like a crackwhore, except for the fact that she weighed at least 200 lbs, probably much more. I'm not putting the pictures on here, because I try to avoid porn, but trust me, you don't want to see these pictures. Anyway, I just e-mailed her back with the following...
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Kimberly, we would most definitely be interested in casting you in one of our films. We have a special interests division that has a few slots open in films involving scat and watersports. Would you be interested in working with us in creating these films? If so, just get back to us, and we'll see if we can't work something out.
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If she decides she wants to be a Japscat superstar, I'll post her reply as soon as I get it. I also recieved another amusing e-mail the other day...
From: "Everyone Hates"
Subject: Help me Please
Date: Sat, 10 Nov 2001 22:23:15
yo John ,,Like the site and all ,,One day maybe we meet and Hang out and shit,,got a prob tho,,you may be the only one who can help me out!
I am looking for a song buy Slayer< thats right Slayer. I have been told to give up ,that it is a myth and I even got a snip which I sent with this email,,,I am looking for this song,,I used to have it Until I crashed and lost it ,,Now the source of where I got it has vanashed..From what I understand ,,they did several cover songs for bands and shit ,,But this is one I cant find!
If you can help me I would be grateful ! Lemme know what you think
Carlos
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I'm not even gonna say anything except that I'm definitely not cool with meeting guys off the net... That's just wierd. Unless you'd wanna cuddle or make out, in which case I could make an acception.
Oh yeah, I thought you might be interested in this. A top secret lab somewhere in Nebraska cross-breeded a rat and a teenage female. They kept her/it locked in a basement for 17 years, and she recently escaped. To see the only picture of rat-girl, click here!
And now, something a bit more serious... Talk about irony, two people who barely escaped death during the September 11th attacks on the WTC ended up dying when flight 587 crashed in Queens on Monday. I am still convinced that the crash was terrorist-related, I mean right away when I heard about it that was what I thought, and I'm still going to feel that way until substantial evidence is provided that it was strictly due to engine malfunctions. But regardless, all of the deaths resulting from the recent events are tragic, I just wanted to point out this specific tragedy to those of you who didn't already know. Oh yeah, and less importantly, that Old Navy lady died... Look, that is, if you give two shits.
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Revolution, The Only Solution
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11.14 4:43 PM
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Okay, this is annoying the hell out of me. Windows XP is horrible, at least on this computer, and I can't get rid of it. I want Win2K back, but in order to do that, I have to format the entire hard drive, and there's no way in hell I'm doing that. Anyway... Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, I've been real busy with other stuff. I actually have to go right now, I just wanted to post something on here so you guys wouldn't think I died or anything. Oh yeah, and I got an awesome video camera, check it out here. It came with a USB cable so maybe I'll be uploading some videos and puttin' em on my site, but only time will tell, my friend.
Oh yeah, and uh, I'm supposed to let you all know that halfhonk.com has a new layout, and his site has now been up for a year and a half. I wish I knew how long my site has been up for, like since the first day I had a site up called "John's Crawlspace". I know for a fact that it has been at least 4 years, because I was running a different type of site with the same name back in 8th grade, I remember it got about 100 hits a week, but it was popular with all my friends and kids from my school and stuff. Oh yeah, and miz-miz too. ;D Yeah, I'm gonna go now.
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I'm definitely not a Star Wars fan, I never really was at all interested in that purely sci-fi type of thing. When I went to see Episode One: The Phantom Menace, it was because all my friends were going, and I remember we spent more time pegging kids in the head with hard objects than we spent actually watching the movie. But since it's plain to see that many people absolutely love this George Lucas "masterpiece", I figured I'd post the Star Wars: Episode Two teaser trailer here. So if you're a nerd, click here to check that shiat out.
I can assure you that not one psychedelic drug was used during the
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creation of this flash movie... Yeah right, it's the wierdest thing I've seen since the wood cutter.
Alright, I'm going away for the weekend to have some fun for a change, so I probably won't be updating again until Sunday night or Monday afternoon, something like that.
Talk about odd... How often is ham used as a weapon to thwart robbery attempts? I wouldn't have thought it was a common occurence, but apparently it happens.
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Flatulent Incantations
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11.07 10:59 PM
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WORD: New section is up: System Of A Down. Yeah, I'm more or less obsessed with these guys.
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If you like anime, than this site is for you. They even have the full VCD of Akira up for grabs! I'm not too hot on anime myself, although I did like Akira, I just bought the box set collectors edition super platinum world certified DVD of it, pretty svaight. Also, this site has a ton of downloadable episodes from alot of different shows, mostly stuff like South Park and Futurama.
I have seen this on like 20 web sites already, so I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it. In fact, I'm not even gonna bother telling the story, I'll just tell you that it involves boobs, and that you can read about it here, or over at Punogre.com.
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Hahaha, who the hell dresses up as a computer application (Internet Explorer) for Halloween? Apparently one of the guys from thespark.com does... Check it out here.
Which would you prefer, if you had to choose one? Getting shot in the nuts, or getting run over by your own car? I think I'd prefer the latter, I like my testicles fine how they are, thanks.
Damn, this would suck. Imagine, you're gettin your mom and pop drug dealing business off to a good start, and your toddler ruins it for you! Haha, damn kids.
Ummm... Yeah.
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I can't get enough of this kid's site. It entertains me in a way I have never been entertained before. I think he is trying too hard to be gay - is that possible?
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Spooner over at Lameking.net said he'd send me ten bucks if I plugged his site. But his cat got hit by a car the other day and that cat meant alot to him, so I feel bad taking money from him. Go to Lameking.net and make fun of him.
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Dusk & Her Embrace.
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11.05 11:18 PM
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Hahaha, looks like the kids at this school are experiencing a significant amount of car theft. Why do I find that funny? Actually, it's not really that funny. Nevermind. Officers arrested a 52-year-old man Saturday and charged him with exposing his sex organs to a 13-year-old boy in a bathroom at the end of Fifth Avenue North. What is it about that sentence that made me laugh? I'm really not sure. Is there a pattern here? Why am I laughing at the downfall of others? I guess I'm in an evil mood.
Flight 404 is one wierd, messed-up site. It looks like it's a fictional plane crash, after which the entire site is designed.
Speaking of the wierd and messed up, (not that I ever speak of anything else), this page right here is without a doubt one of the most messed up things I've ever seen. Nothing says "my life is miserable, I get a hard on from Disney movies, please kill me now" more than a website full of Ninja Turtles groping each other in sexually explicit detail. Sometimes you just have to ask... Why?
If any of these shirts happen to be in your wardrobe, Sgt. D has a few words for you.
I was checking out mek's new site, absent-minded, when I saw that he wrote this: "You know what I remember? The good ole' sites back from my AOL-days. Anyone remember such sites as "Blastic.net","Sno0ps Phat Page","Bo0's Backyard" and those l337 sites? Those sites used to rock. They were my daily stops before I got into HTML and that fun stuff." I couldn't believe when I read that, because I only know of maybe three people online who actually remember that stuff, and I remember all three of those sites that he mentioned. That was when I started my site, using the trendy i-frames and everything. A few other sites I remember were krayon.net, dns.net, w0wz3rz.com, kanae's corridor, niggy dot net... Damn, there were so many of those sites. They were mostly made by kids with a decent understanding of VB, so the end result was a combination of a weblog and a section for their AOL-related files. I'm not sure why I'm going off about this, 99% of you have no idea what I'm talking about, so I'm gonna shut up. Anyway, make sure you check out absent-minded, it's pretty cool, and he'll have the rest of the sections up soon enough.
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Evening Minuetto In A Castle By The Sea.
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11.04 7:51 PM
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Everytime I have tried to update over the past few days, I've been interrupted or something and never got around to finishing what I started, so I'm sitting here trying to think of what I was gonna post... Oh yeah, not only am I fired from Dollar Tree, they also want to press charges and I have to pay them three dollars. Why three dollars? Because when they asked me how many things the girl had when I rung her up and I said, "I dunno, five or six?" They decided to assume that she had six things, and since I only rung her up for three dollars... I just think it's ridiculous that they actually want three dollars... I probably owe them alot more than that. But that's a different story altogether.
Remember a few days ago when I linked to that fake CNN news article? Well, some guy from CNN e-mailed me, demanding I remove the link from my site, claiming that I was infringing on copyright laws. I never took the link off, but it looks like CNN haxored it because it's not working anymore. I just couldn't believe that a tiny-ass site like this would get CNN's attention.
Holy crap... CHODE DONKEYS!
Have you ever wondered if it's possible to make "human cheese"? I sure as hell haven't, and the thought just made me shudder... Ugh, ballcheese. Anyway, you can find the answers to that question, and many other bizzare questions right here. I can't believe some of the crap people wonder about.
This site put a smile on my face. I know that not all cops are bad, some of them have let me off scott-free, but there are alot of cops out there that will go out of their way to bust kids, even if the kids aren't doing anything wrong, and this site is keeping an eye on all the naughty bacon out there.
What the hell is this crap? Islamic rapcore? Hahahahahahaha!
This flash animation is without a doubt the funniest one I have ever seen. I don't think I could sit throught hat a second time, but it was really funny.
This guy e-mailed me asking for a link, and his site is pretty damn cool, so check it out here. Also, he made me a fan sign, which no one has done for awhile, ahem! So I'll throw that in the fan pics section then whenegver I get around to it.
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Mechanized, High-Tech, Wholesale Death In Effect
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10.30 11:33 PM
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Please note: I am currently in the process of switching hosts, so the URL www.jiglet.net may not be working at all times. Solution? Use one of the older URLs, like john.freestylin.net.
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If you ask me, there's no better time than Halloween for some good, old fashioned death metal. No plans tonight? Why not go out slayering with your pals? Don't know what that is? Well, you can find out right here. Some of my favorite death metal bands are A.C., Malevolent Creation, Cradle Of Filth, Judas Priest, Dimmu Borgir, Children Of Bodom, and last, but definitely not least - SLAYER.
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Meet Rick & Steve, the happiest gay lego couple in the world! Where's that damn lego velociraptor when you need him?
I got fired from my job last night... Well, not definitely fired, but they sent me home early and said I would most likely be "terminated". Why? Well, this chick from my homeroom at school came in and bought a bunch of candy, and, being the nice guy that I am, I rung her up for like $3.00 when she had probably about five or six dollars worth of "merchandise". (can you even call it that?) Damn, I'm pretty mad, but I guess there's no one to blame but myself... Actually, I could just put all the blame on my butch-ass dyke manager who told my boss when she saw me do it. Half the time this lesbo is on the phone with her girlfriends in the back office, doing god-knows-what, yet she has the nerve to tell on me for doing what I did? Yeah, she needs to be curbed.
Eh... Looks like I made headlines - Look.
Not that today's average multi-drug user is ultra concerned with the safety factor the the substances they are putting into their body, but it looks like drugs coming into the USA from other countries could actually be tainted with deadly chemicals. That's right, no more E for little Sally, and no more weed for Donald! Well, I'm sure that realistically little to no harm will come from this, since it's not likely to happen, but if you have no idea what I'm talking about, read more here.
Damn trick-or-treaters... I'm gonna start ignoring the doorbell pretty soon, I'm tired of giving out candy. Anyway, I'm gonna get going, check out Big Afro Webguide, because, uh... Yeah, that's why.
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I Am A Russian Bear, I Am A Patriot!
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10.29 11:54 PM
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I think this is so cool. My friend Arin took this picture of his friend, and edited it in Photoshop to make it look like he curbed him. Here is the result.
I wanted to buy chowder.com and use it as my permanent URL but when I e-mailed the people who owned the domain they said that the pricing starts at $50,000. Honestly though, wouldn't chowder.com be an awesome address?
I love my GameBoy Advance. I can't stop playing this damn Mario Advance game, it's too much fun. There are alot of cool games coming out real soon for GBA too, like Super Street Fighter II and Street Fighter Alpha III, Tekken, Wario Land 4, and Super Mario Advance II. Okay, I just realized this is probably the least bit interesting to most of you, but hey, I never post anything about video games, and after all, it's my site, so suck a chode.
Anthony Burgess's A Clockwork Orange is probably the best book I have ever read. I just finished reading it a few days ago, actually. I have yet to see the movie, but if it's anything like the book, it's gotta be great, and I'm sure Stanley Kubrick won't dissapoint. I think I'm gonna start using some of the nadsat (slang) from that book in everyday conversation, just to confuse people. Actually, that'd be gay... Nevermind.
Wow, this is some messed-up poetry.
Would you eat testicles for a hundred bucks? I sure as hell wouldn't.
Holy crap (no pun intended), I just discovered the coolest band in the world. They go by the name of POO PETER, and you should all worship the ground they walk on. Actually, the music is terrible, but the names of the songs are pretty funny. Speaking of music, did you know there is a group called Half-Man, Half-Biscuit? There's a ton of wierd bands to be found on this site, it's actually pretty entertaining if you've got nothing better to do.
If sitting by the radio waiting for DJs to play those Osama Bin Laden satire songs is how you get your kicks, then you might want to check this site out.
Poop grenade? What?
Okay, my friend Kyle and some other kids broke into a cargo train when they were hanging out on some railroad tracks. It was full of boxes, and I guess the train was headed to (or from) some clothing store, because they got a bunch of Abercrombie fleeces and sweatshirts and stuff, and he said there was some American Eagle stuff in there too. Well, they took home some of the boxes and he is giving away the fleeces and most of the other clothing they got, since they brought an assload of it home, just e-mail him if you want some, or check out his site right here.
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King Of Sorrow
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10.28 7:51 PM
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Who the hell would spend money on this, when you get 20 of them in the mail every day for free, whether you like it or not?
I was just reading about E-Bombs (No, not the kind you take at clubs) and they're interesting, yet at the same time scary to think about if used against us. Click here to read about the capabilities of an E-Bomb, and find out what I mean.
This is probably completely pointless, but I'm going to make yet another attempt at getting my galleries back up. So far, I got up the first Everyday Hotties gallery, which can be seen here.
Here's a nice mail I got from one of my fans a few days ago.
From: Tim Satterfield
Subject: johns gayspace
Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2001 16:16:41
i found your site about two weeks ago and have been coming back cause you put up some good links, but today I went to your photos page, and damn you are the ugliest kid i have ever seen. not to mention the girls you are with in the pics. OMG! If you want to see a real pimp who gets good lookin girls, go to my homepage at http://satterfieldt.tripod.com
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Hey Tim, sorry for not being cute enough, I really should work on that, you self-centered piece of shit. This kid's website has floating cut-outs of his head spinning around on the flash intro, and that's all his site is: pictures of him. You little Abercrombie bitch, you must be shallow as hell if you can't enjoy a website because of the way the webmaster looks... Especially if it's a guy, which causes other topics to rise, such as your sexuality. But we won't get into that, since nowadays if you're not 100% okay and comfortable with gay people, you're labeled as an ignorant homophobe. Wow, I'm bitching up a storm over here! Anyway, since you're such a hot sexy mangina, maybe we could cuddle sometime? Get back to me.
Also, while I'm on the subject of mail, the hosting company that took down my "everyday hotties" gallery last time (a few days ago) wrote back to me.
From: delbert.aud@activewebhosting.com
Subject: RE: Technical Problems?
Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2001 13:17:48
We have a program that watches usage on web sites. This keeps us out of having to watch each and every site. When a site shows up on our potential problem report we investigate it and attempt to solve any problems that might arise. By doing it this way we keep ourselves out of having to defend any discrimination.
Now as far I as I know you don't even have an account with Active Web Hosting and as such you have absolutely no rights with our firm. You will have to deal with the owner of the domain with this issue. We have informed the domain owner that his domain will not be brought back online until the pictures are removed. If he chooses not to remove them then we will no other choice then to close the account.
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To which I replied:
I love cuddling.
Over the past few days my DSL has been down alot, so I made two buddy icons, ones that I feel needed to, and as far as I know, had yet to be made. I created them in the footsteps of two of the most infamous disgusting pictures on the net, goatse man and tubgirl. If you don't know where these originated from, consider yourself lucky.
 
I have an entire book to read (The Slaughterhouse Five) by tommorow, so I've gotta get going. Be sure to check out evilstation.com and fendexis.com, my two newest affiliates.
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Hizza Honkey
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10.25 3:56 PM
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Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the worst post in website history: "my strawberry syrup bottle was like, empty, but i knew there was syrup left in there, so i poured milk in the bottle and shaked it up, and now im drinking out of the bottle! Would you like some? *squirts some in a cup for you* Enjoy the strawberryness!!!" No, I didn't make that up. Yes, the writer of that post is a male. It's actually an interesting story, how I came across his site. My friend was hosting my everyday hotties galleries, and within two hours of me uploading them, they were offline. I uploaded them again, and they were taken down again. So I e-mailed my friend's host, activewebhosting.com to find out what the hell was up. This was their reply:
From: delbert.aud@activewebhosting.com
Subject: RE: Technical Problems?
Date: Thu, 25 Oct 2001 08:00:46
You will have to take this up with your friend as he has been instructed to remove all pictures of individuals who you do not have a written release (permission) to publish. I took the directories offline then about 2-3 hours later someone renamed the directory back to bring them back online, so we then took the entire domain offline. The domain will remain offline until the domain's owner assures us that the pictures are gone and will not return. If you have an issue with this you will need to take it up with the domain owner.
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To which I replied...
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Why is it that you enforce this policy on some of your hosted sites, but not all of them? For instance, you host http://www.n-raged.net, and one particular instance of them breaking your "rule" can be seen here. I truly doubt that this little homo has written permission from P. Diddy's preteen squad of prostitutes, pop sensation "Dream", to have their picture on his site. What do you have to say to that? Because of my ethnic background, is that why you decided to remove my page? I believe this is discrimination, which isYou will be hearing from a legal representative if you don't either reverse the actions taken against me, or enforce your policy on every single one of your hosted sites. Have a nice day.
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I found the gay kid's site when looking for sites hosted by activewebhosting that contained celebrity pictures, which the webmasters would not have been able to have had written permission from. Hopefully the hosting company won't investigate my racial background and find out I'm just a skinny white boy... I hope they assume the worst, that I'm a black kid who is very offended and convinced he is being treated in a prejudice manner. In doing this, I don't hope to earn back my hosting for the galleries, that is in the process of being taken care of - I am just doing it to be a pain in the ass. Anyway, enough about that.
"The audience at Madison Square Garden began whispering among themselves when they noticed Michael Jackson sharing a VIP box with 12-year-old country star Billy Gilmore and former child actor Macaulay Culkin during performances by other stars." Holy crap, that's hilarious! This plastic-faced pervert is still getting his freak on with little boys, so I guess everything is back to normal. Click here to read the entire article on "the king of pop"...
Whew, am I glad to have found this page! And to think that up until 5 minutes ago I had plans to go out and spread evil across the land on All Hallow's eve! Innocent traditions such as "trick or treat", I have learned, are actually the devil's devices to add to the population of the underworld! People are so used to this horrible tradition that they fail to realize that "trick or treat" is actually a threat. It's just a quick way of saying, "Give me a treat or I will be forced to burn down your house. Afterwards, I will sacrafice your dog, slaughter your first born child, and crucify you to the nearest telephone pole." Also, it is very unchristian of us to demand gifts from others. How have can we have been so blind to the horrible acts we have been commiting for so many years? Take control of your fate, lock your children in the basement on this horrible night, and throw holy water at any trick or treaters who come to your door.
Y'know, if I have to waste time learning about history at school... Why can't it be the history of something interesting?
Yeah, this was a pretty crappy update. If you're looking for something else to keep yourself entertained, then why not check out one of the following sites? Halfhonk.com, Hard Star, Grafite Network, modemthug.com, & assgroove. Haha, assgroove, I like that word. Shizer, I'm gonna be late for work!
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Don't Stop At Stop Signs With Bullet Holes In 'Em
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10.24 8:18 AM
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I just finished uploading the original " Everyday Hotties" gallery, which can be seen right here. Mirror: Here (Thanks to Desade) It's probably the smallest gallery in the series, but I'm working on getting the other galleries up as well.
Haha, the word 'chode' can actually be found throughout the Bible. No, I'm not making that up either. In fact, here are two different excerpts from the Bible.
And the people chode with Moses, and
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spake, saying, Would God that we had died when our brethren died before the LORD!
And Jacob was wroth, and chode with Laban: and Jacob answered and said to Laban, What is my trespass?
I just can't get enough of that word. Kyle, if you're not in jail yet, and happen to be reading this, I want my chode shirt back!
If any of you are interested in hearing a clip of my site being talked about on the radio, click here. It's a pretty long audio file, so if you want to skip to the part about jiglet.net, it's about 12:55 into the file. Oh, and I'm not going to mention anything else about my site being on the radio, unless it's something more than just the names of stations that did it, because I'm sure it's getting old by now, but there are about 10 stations now that I am aware of that have done it.
Hey kids! Be the first on your block to get a Body Bag Barbie! Actually, I think that site is more of an e-zine than it is anything else, but I guess it's worth a look. On the other hand, this is definitely not worth a look. In fact, that's truly disgusting!
It's a nice idea and all, but I don't think there are nearly enough people mooning Bin Laden.
One last thing before I go and start getting ready for school (we had a two-hour delay this morning.) If you're a fan of Incubus, you should definitely check out Hoobastank. They don't really sound like Incubus, but they fall into the same genre. I bet within the next six months, they'll be getting radio play on rock stations all over the country. Adam is the one who turned me on to them, and this homo at my school has been putting stickers with the bands name on them all over the place. It just so happens that he is the same kid who I got in trouble for calling a douchebag. Ugh, two weeks lunch in a conference room by myself, no fun at all. Anyway, they have MP3s of two of their newer songs on their site, so if you're interested, check 'em out. Oh yeah, and the new Incubus and Bush CDs both hit the shelves yesterday, check 'em both out, especially Bush's "Golden State", it's an amazing CD.
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