In 1954, the first mass inoculation of children with the Salk polio vaccine began in Pittsburgh.

In 1965, Stan Laurel, the ``skinny'' half of the Laurel and Hardy comedy team, died in Santa Monica, Calif.

In 1997, scientists in Scotland announced they had succeeded in cloning an adult mammal, producing a lamb named ``Dolly.''

Ten years ago: Former Salvadoran President Jose Napoleon Duarte died at age 64.

Five years ago: The Dow Jones industrial average closed above the 4,000 mark for the first time, ending the day at 4,003.33. Administration officials said President Clinton would review dozens of affirmative action programs. Former U.S. President Jimmy Carter arrived in Haiti to help prepare for peaceful elections.

One year ago: A jury in Jasper, Texas convicted white supremacist John William King of murder in the gruesome dragging death of a black man, James Byrd Jr.; King was sentenced to death two days later. Serbs agreed in principle to give limited self-rule to majority ethnic Albanians in Kosovo, thereby temporarily heading off NATO air strikes, but during their talks in Rambouillet, France, the two sides failed to conclude a deal for ending their yearlong conflict. The first of two avalanches that claimed 38 lives over two days struck in Austria.

2.22(7:02PM):// "All The News That's Fit To Print."
Sometimes I wish I had a nice, wet, warm Vulva Bed to 'curl up' inside of when I go to sleep at night. Wouldn't that be nice? Awww yeah...

Even though I'm sure most of you knew that Playstation 2 is going to be a DVD-Player as well, I found an interesting article on it over here. I can't wait to get ahold of one of these... But I bet they are gonna cost like, money... Maybe I won't get one.

According to this article, almost 40% of all time spent online is spent on AOL. Just last month, 57.5 billion minutes were spent on the service, an average of 13.2 hours per a person. Gee, 13.2 hours? I don't even spend 13.2 minutes online a month! More like 5 minutes. 13.2...? Are you kidding me? Gimme a break... (it's called sarcasm, folks.)

Man, the guy in this story has some issues... Not the KoRn kind either, he had sex with a cow. Well, he didn't inhale, I'll give him credit for that... Read the story here. Is beastiality becoming a trend? Yeah, its becoming a fad. So is handcuffing your bellydancing son to a bed for three days. (Once again, you guess it, sarcasm.)

Geez, foriegn-television is messed up. Sometimes its cool, but if you have ever seen the HBO TV show "Turn-On TV", you'd know what I mean when I say that some of this stuff gets pretty damn strange. Here is a not-too-strange example, in Moscow they have nude news broadcasts. I'm not saying it isn't cool, but what will they have next? Nude sex? That would be wierd as hell! Yeah. And we're sitting over here in the US with the MPAA and RIAA monitoring everything that we see... And it's ridiculous! The new X-Men movie had a teaser-trailer which debuted yesterday, and they had to edit out Cyclops's "optic blast" because it wasn't "PG Material". Figure that one out. The actual movie is going to be rated PG-13, but apparently trailers have to have content suitable for PG and uner, if that makes any sense. If you're interested, I found some stuff on that over here at Ain't-It-Cool News.

Believe it or not, I found this to be pretty interesting. It's a scratch-n-sniff website! I would have tried it, but I didn't wanna get any smudges on my monitor... Yeah. With things like this, and other stuff like mail-order zombie brains, pork toungues guilty of causing listeria epidemics, unique fatigue-help methods, poop-rain, and furniture porn... Well, all I can say is that the internet has become quite an interesting place.

2.22(4:48PM):// Sections...Under Construction.
I am almost finished with a few sections, including 'about' and 'links', I just am way too busy to put in alot of work on them. I have alot of other stuff to do, mainly schoolwork, burning CD's, and keeping in touch with all my friends back home. Ryan watches Digimon. Anyway, I set up an acount over at 50Megs.com, and I uploaded a bunch of funny movie clips that I have found around the web and on mIRC, some of them I am sure alot of you have seen dozens of times, but they're goin up anyway. And sorry, theres not gonna be any poop-eating movies. Wanna see that crap? Go somewhere else.

Today during lunch, these kids I sit with dared me to throw a bottle of water across the cafeteria, so I did, and it hit this girl in the head! And then I was throwing other stuff, I threw like everybodies lunch bags into the trash can, which was across the other side of the cafeteria as well, so that was pretty funny, this wierd-looking guy came over asking who did it and I just acted all innocent. And then everyone was like punding on the tables, chanting "John, John, John!" As if that didn't make it obvious who did it.

Well, I gotta go do ... some stuff now, more later.

2.21(12:38PM):// MC Face?

Back when I lived in New Cumberland, I remember going to the Tom Green website and finding a hilarious music video for a song dubbed "Slaughta Ya Oughta", which Tom wrote under the alias MC Face. Well, I came across it again today and just thought I would share it with those of you who hadn't seen it already. I'm not going to say anything else about it, just check it out, believe me, you won't regret it.

Also, everyone was talking about how Tom Green apparently walked into a boys Barmitzvah dressed as Adolf Hitler. When I heard this I laughed, because it is pretty damn funny (unless your a jew), but I knew it wsn't true, because the rumor said that he was thrown off of MTV for doing it, and I knew he wasn't, because his show was still in it's new season, with new episodes, plus it seems that Tom wouldn't do something racist like that. Everyone said I was wrong, but now I have proof, click here to read an official statement from Tom Green. Also, be sure to tune in to Tom Green for the next few weeks, he has an episode with Monica Lewinksy coming up soon, so that should be interesting.

2.21(2:49PM):// A Quick Note.
To those of you who were attempting to link me, and it wasn't working (broken images), I figured out why. I don't need to explain, but if you still wanna link me, just link on of the images found on the Link Me page.

2.20(11:59PM):// Stuff...

I saw "The Beach" tonight, and I must say, it was a kick-ass movie! I have a newfound respect for Leonardo DiCaprio, I never really hated him, but I was never a fan either. But after seeing him in this movie, he is a really good actor, and the whole movie in general just kicked arse. I thought it was sorta cool in the beginning, like it was really strange, the way it was filmed reminded me of an Oliver Stone film (and no, not that "Any Given Sunday" crap) But then the movie got really cool, and he got psychotic, it sort of reminded me of the book "Lord Of The Flies", if any of you have read about it (or seen the parody that The Simpsons did of it), then you'd know what I mean. So if you wanna see a good movie thats out, avoid that scream crap, I would highly recommend that you go see this, and if you don't like it, then grab the nearest girl, and do the mambo. But seriously folks, don't let the fact that he is in this movie discourage you from seeing it, it's a cool movie! I might do some more updates in a few minutes, but I gotta restart this computer now.

2.20(4:09PM):// Stile Got Hacked...?
Maybe I am just a moron, but when I went to The Stile Project this afternoon and was greeted by... Well, an unpleasant surprise, I had a feeling Stile himself didn't put it there. Plus, there are some greets posted and it just looks like someone got in there and changed some things around. If you want to translate the french update on his site into english, then head on over to babelfish.altavista.com. Well, I'm going to see The Beach with some people now (no, I'm not a DiCaprio fan, but it looks like a good movie) so I will update later. I started working on some new sections, so they should be up shortly.

2.20(1:59PM):// Come On Now...
Damn you people, you all suck. Only one of you has signed up for FreeDSL!? That is pathetic. I have over 2,500 hits, and the only thing that I am benefiting from in the last on this site is that DSLNow link over there on the left. See it? Yeah, don't act like you don't. It has your name written all over it. It is just begging you to click it. You know you want to. You know how badly you want to sign up and download the tiny executable file to help me out. Right? Okay, so I'm wrong, but if you have a few extra minutes, 'hook a brother up', just sign up for it real quick. I am on 56k right now, but if I had a faster connection you would be seeing one hell of a nice site, I would have tons of movies, full albums, and all that good stuff. But for now, just go on mIRC to get that. (I recommend using server irc.relic.net, and going into #cablemp3) Well, hopefully my readers aren't too impressionable, I know if I came to a site for the first time and all I saw was the webmaster begging for you to click on stuff, I wouldn't be coming back there any time soon. But anyway, expect one or two sections up pretty soon. Thats all for now.

2.20(1:09AM):// Who Keeps Opening The Garage Doors!?
Apparently, the year 2000 is going to be one of the worst for 'solar storms', which are surges of charged particles from the sun that knock out satellites, power grids and even garage door openers. No one can predict which month or week will be worst, but the sun is at the height of its 11-year cycle of storms, meaning that the Earth can expect several barrages of excess charged particles. To read more on this story, click here.

Oh no! This is a tragedy! The broadway musical hit "Cats" is gone! What will we do without it? Ha, I never saw the damn thing, and I would prefer to keep it that way... But apparently some people took notice to the fact that it isn't gonna be on broadway anymore. 7,397 performances? Wow, and I missed all those? This is a sad day in the history of our great country... Yeah.

Well, I'm tired as hell once again, so here is an interesting article on why Windows 2000 is not for you, check it out.

2.19(2:09AM):// We Are The Cartoon Heros...
I swear to god, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I'm not a fag or anything like that at all, but I am kinda likin' this new Aqua song. It's called "Cartoon Heros." The music video is queer as hell but it is a really catchy song. I'm also diggin (queer choice of words) the new Lit song, "Miserable", the music video kicks ass, the band is playing on top of a gigantic Pamela Anderson, and she eats them all at the end of the video. Okay, well you probably didn't come here to hear about music videos, so I'll shut up now. That makes me think though, what do you come here for? Mail me at nitejohn@hotmail.com, or IM me on AIM on the screen name "John Vantine", and help me out by telling me what you would like to see more of on my site. I would apprecciate it if you guys did this, so I would have a better idea of what kind of stuff to post, because there is always stuff for me to post about, I'm usually just too lazy to start working on my webpage, I usually just use the internet for social stuff.

The Upright Citizens Brigade is selling some interesting items that you might want to check out. I know I have always wanted an Ass-Penny Detector, I don't want to be carrying around ass pennies, but maybe that's just me. And what baby shower would be complete without Babies First Throwing Star? But my favorite is the Bong-A-Long-A-Ding-Dong, it is a dildo and a bong in one! Well, check all those items out over at Uprightcitizens.org.

Here is an odd story about a woman who avoided going to jail because of how fat she is! I think I am gonna start gaining wieght...

I am really excited for Playstation 2 (or whatever it's gonna be called) to come out. Here is an article about the first game that is currently being beta tested...That is gonna be really cool, although I bet the system will cost at least $500.

The West Hawaii Today newspaper reported the death in December of Hy Hoe Silva, 41, of Waimea. Sorry for that gay little fact there, I just thought it was sorta funny.

In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52, tried to cure his sexual impotence by having a penis transplant - using a donkey as the donor. The wire service Agence France-Presse reported that three times Esirgen brought home a donkey, amputated its sexual organs and appealed in vain for a doctor to perform the operation. Apparently the third time so annoyed his family that his son shot him in the leg.

In one of the strangest alliances ever encountered by law enforcement in the Amish community of Pennsylvania, members of the Pagans Motorcycle Club allegedly conspired with some young Amish men to sell "multiple kilograms" of cocaine to Amish youth groups. The drugs were to be sold to the Amish youths during hoedowns. The deals took place in Gap, PA, minutes east of Intercourse, PA. Funny town names there...okay, I'll shut up.

3-year-old Lateef Wise, Philadelphia, PA, was left home alone last week. At about 9:30 a.m., the frightened and crying boy pushed out the screen of an open window. Then he fell from the apartment, bounced off an air conditioner protruding from a second floor window and landed on a narrow strip of grass. After hitting the ground Lateef amazingly got up, began to cry and started walking around. Lateef was later released from a local hospital with just a minor larceration. The boy was left home alone due to a miscommunication between the parents.

2.17(10:55PM):// Jesus Lives In PA!

Yep, Jesus walks on our earth. This time, he is wandering around Hazleton, PA, a small town which I am very familiar with. My grandparents live out there, so I have been there hundreds of times. Well, this guy doesn't like to be reffered to as God or anything, but he goes by the gay name of "What's Your Name?". That is the actual name that he prefers to be reffered to as. Well, he is a really wierd guy, my grandparents met him and stuff, and now like he is all over the news and stuff... And get this, the guy has apparently just been wondering around like this for 9 years!

Well, thats messed up if you ask me. He needs to get shot, lol. And don't give me shit for saying that, I'm a Roman Catholic so I can rightfully say that this guy is insane and not be reffered to as "ignorant". It was cool to see the news report on him because I knew some of the places that they were doing the interviews at. Well, check out the full story on this wierdo over here at ABCNews.com

2.17(10:10PM):// Huckleberry Mayonnaise.
A "The Simpsons" full length movie in theaters? Yes, apparently it could happen, check this shit out for more details.

You know what sucks? Microsoft decided to be queer and take all of the "easter eggs" out of Windows 2000. Read the article over here. But if you don't know what easter eggs are (and no, not the kind that the 'easter bunny' brings) then don't even bother.

Damn, I am so tired and unmotivated to do anything at all. So, due to lack of creativity, click here to read a somewhat-funny story about some chickens that got kicked off of an airplane... It's not as funny as it sounds though.

2.17(4:55PM):// Jens Lil' Update.