Ew, some lady had a baby, but it came out her butt. Lol, that was sort of blunt, but read the full article here.

Okay, heres some stuff. God Simulator, A somewhat disturbingly-strange fetish site, The Wright Brothers are back, and some more good 3-D art.

Well, off to school for me. Damn!

3.19(10:58PM):// Ummm... Wierd.
Okay, bam-b.com has to be one of the wierdest sites I have ever seen in my life. I'm not going to bother to try and explain it, just head on over and get ready to be... confused.

Don't mess with these guys... Lol, nowadays, every single race thinks they are black, even these indian dudes. But the gayest is when white people try to be black. I am fine with all races of people, it's just funny when they try to be something that they aren't. No hard feelings, right?

3.19(10:08PM):// So Much To Post, So Little Time!

Wow, I'm on like, a powertrip here, every single time I get on AIM, I get IM's from people telling me how much they like my site, and stuff like that. Now, Kyro and Thrift invited me to make a site with them, apparently it has something to do with Anti-Freestylin.

Anyway, I have alot of shit to post, my weekend was pretty damn cool, my friends from Harrisburg came down to visit me, we didn't get into much trouble or anything, but it was alot of fun. Today though, me and Ed were walking to church (yeah, I'm Catholic...) and I just spontaneously threw this big stick at him. So he went to pick up some rocks to throw at me, and I started to sort of run. When I turned around, he was getting yelled at by some old guy, so I ran back over to see what was going on. I was all hyper so I was laughing and shit, and the guy was like "You can walk away now, this doesn't involve you." Well, he was yelling at Ed for picking up a rock, so I was yelling at him, and saying how completely ridiculous it was, and he said that someone broke his window last week, and he thought it was us. I was just like, Eddie, this is bullshit, lets get outta here, we are gonna be late for church. Ed was being all repectful and stuff, and I was just like, this is bullshit, lets go. So the guy said "No, you wait here, I am calling the police." I just busted out laughing, like we were gonna wait for him to call the cops. We started to walk away and he was like "Well, I know where you are headed, the police are on their way!" Yeah, I can just see it now. We're sitting in mass and the cops come through and kick down the doors. "Freeze! Nobody move!"

Also, at the train station, there was a computer out at one of the desks, and as we were walking by, I just clicked the mouse button, which ended up ruining the image that was on the screen, because there was an image-editing program open. Well, some indian lady started screaming at me, it was hilarious, I was like, just go to edit, and then undo, if it's such a big deal. She was like "NO! That is not good enough!" She claimed to have called the police, it was so funny, because there wasn't even a phone near there, she just kept saying "I call police right now. They be here soon.."

Oh yeah, I saw American History X this weekend, I rented it when my friends were over and... Well, that was a great movie, very "powerful", even though I sound like some damn film critic here. If you haven't seen it, go out now, or I will curb you. Oh yeah, and they use the word "niglet" in it! That is one of the words that I got in trouble for on my old site! The police thought I was racist because that word was on the site, when in all reality I am not racist at all (But "Got Rice" pisses me off.) Okay, I'm rambling, gotta go for a little, I might update again later tonight.

3.19(8:58PM):// What The Hell?
Um, I recieved a strange e-mail today, I don't usually read mail from people who's e-mail adresses I am not familiar with, but this one had a strange subject, so I read it...

GIRLS DISAPPEAR UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES

TRANSYLVANIA (IT) - Two attractive young women have disappeared while vacationing in the Transylvanian Mountains. Their garments have been found stained with partially digested blood and bat and human saliva. This and similar occurrences are causing international concern. Detective Iulia Popescu of the Transylvanian Police has concluded that the missing people are now slaves to the infamous Count Dracula.

Does this news article frighten you?

WE INVITE YOU TO COME TO TRANSYLVANIA. on an inexpensive, complete travel package that includes roundtrip airfare, ground transportation, hotels, food, tips, sightseeing, guides, entertainment, horrifying surprises - everything.

The expedition will spend several days exploring the Transylvanian Mountains, home to the bloodsucking Master of Midnight.

During your ordeal, you will visit the authentic haunts of the Count himself including his private castle. You will also have a terrifying stay in a region that was controlled in the 15th century by the Count's father, Vlad Dracul.

You will stay in comfortable, carefully selected hotels feasting on lusty local cuisine and sipping the full-bodied, blood red wines of the region.

You will be eagerly serviced by fair maidens and handsome lads naive in the ways of the world and fascinated by foreigners.

While relaxing, you will spend quiet romantic evenings by candlelight with a companion, serenaded by gypsy violinists. Or, if you prefer, you will be swept away by the frenzied dancing of costumed locals. Casinos are also available for the more daring.

From the moment you step off the plane, there will be lots of fun and nasty surprises. They will delight and frighten you - but you will be safe.

This theme tour is for men and women, young and old alike. Only the weak, cowardly, and impotent will flee from this unique opportunity.

This tour is fully guaranteed and organized by a licensed international travel bureau. Entertainment and effects performed on location by professional theatrical troupes.

Space is limited so the courageous must apply immediately.

Call 1-713-866-4056.

We await your call seven days a week, 24 hours a day, including Sundays and holidays.

Maybe I won't go be going to the beach this summer. No, I'm kidding. That is some gay-ass shit though, I wonder if it's actually real, like if you can actually call that number. I mean come on guys, well all know that vampires are real, right?

3.18(12:33AM):// Take A Spic Stand!
This guy is just a hispanic, hornier version of Mahir if you ask me, although this website is obviously a fake. (Sorry, that sorta spoiled the fun...)

Also, be sure to check out his "smoof as butta" pics of Jennifer Lopez! Check out all the action here.

Also, for all you techno/rave/trance fans out there, check out raveworld.net, it has some extensive video coverage of stuff like the raves at woodtsock, plus underground waves that your mommy wouldn't approve of you attending. Check it out!

Anyway, two of my friends are comin' down from Harrisburg to stay for the weekend, so I'm egttin to bed early, I was tired as shit today.... Well, as far as shit goes, anyway. Does shit sleep?

3.17(5:31PM):// Utah To Get A Porn Czar?
Yeah, the state of Utah is probably going to have someone who "regulates" the porn industry. This person would have little prosecutorial power, and no jurisdiction over the Internet or cable television. Instead, he or she would draft a new state definition of obscenity, help local governments "restrict, suppress or eliminate" pornography and provide information "about the dangers of obscenity." I guess that makes sense. Read more about it here.

Ha ha, this is the kinda shit me and my friends used to do all the time. Police are trying to find out who stole a 6-foot-tall Ronald McDonald statue. Man, I want one of those to put in my room, it would be like... My trophy!

Okay, heres some quickies, because it's a Friday night, and I'm going out. A little kid got his arm bit off by a tiger (here), Claustrophobic woman can't get climb the stairs, so the judge on the 10th floor won't hear her restitution claims (here), and 5 million contraband condoms with a street value of $700,000 retireived by police (here).

3.17(4:59PM):// Gnutella!
Everyone check out Gnullsoft's new program Gnutella. It's like Napster, only it's better. Oh yeah, for all you Napster users, check out Napigator.

Check out The Angry Little Asian Girl. I guess it's a pretty funny idea for a site.

"Thank you for your e-mail. This Internet of yours is a wonderful invention," George Bush sarcastically wrote to vice president Al Gore. Umm... I guess that's funny - hey, it's news, so even if it's not funny, I can't go wrong.

Oh yeah, Happy Saint Patricks Day. Did you know that 1/5 of irish teenagers are drunk on a regular basis? Well, now ya do. Also, check out this link to read some stupid Irish laws.

3.16(9:59PM):// More Stuff.
Hey sexy! Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you, casinova. Wanna break into the porn industry? Not sure how? Well, search no more, my horny compadre, here is a FAQ on breaking into the porno scene. Just don't forget who got you there when you make it big. Yeah, right.

I was looking through Stile's Old Site, and it seems that his attitude has changed alot ever since he has been getting so much public recognition. Now he talks about how he will never sell out, but if you read through some of the posts on his old site, you'll see that he has AllAdvantage banners and stuff up, and it says stuff like "Sell-Out? Damn straight. I put up that Alladvantage banner to make some pockey money." I dunno, I could never see him doing that on his new site, which is a good thing, I think having those banners up is very unprofessional looking, and I can honestly say I have never signed up for any of those programs, and I don't plan on it. Well... Free DSL, but that is the only exception, because I need a faster web connection!

What is a Blumpie?
Do you really want to know?
No, you don't, but click here anyway.

Ah, I'm so damn tired. I have to read like three chapters of The Odyssey every night for English class, and last night I fell asleep, and when I woke up the next morning, the book was like on my face. It is so boring! This homer guy who wrote it deserves to be shot. Anyway, today in school, this kid threw a pickle at me and it went in my hair, so I whipped a bottle at him and it hit him in the face. He got pissed and thew it back at me, and the teacher saw, and this is like the fourth time I have gotten yelled at for being involved in shit that is going on at lunch, so he moved me and two other kids who didn't even do shit to the other end of the cafeteria, which blows, because it is all losers and immigrants who don't speak english who sit over there. Dammit! Plus, he took down our names, if I get suspended for responding to getting a wet pickle in my hair, I'm gonna... Well, I won't do crap, but still, it will suck.

3.16(9:11PM):// Stuff.
Okay, this is really fair... This guy is being charged for rape, but the only evidence that thye have is his DNA... Most people don't even know his name.

LAHORE, Pakistan – A Pakistani man was sentenced to death today for murdering 100 children in this country's worst serial killing, and the court ordered him to be strangled in front of his victims' parents and his body dismembered. Aww, isn't that sweet? It's cool how they let the guy off so easy.

3.16(8:48PM):// Stuff.
Okay, this is what I want you to do: Save up your money and buy me one of these! Seriously! It's an electric chair, and dammit, I want one now! Now there will be a new reason why your mom doesn't want you to take girls to your room.

"Mom, I just wanna show it to her..."
"No Billy, we are running out of places to put the bodies!"

3.16(6:47PM):// Early-Morning Update.
Holy God I'm tired. If I close my eyes for 5 seconds I will fall asleep. school sucks.

How often do you read an article like this? A group of pissed off housewives stormed a police station demanding sex. Yeah, this really happened.

A polish guy was trying to shoot an escaped circus tiger with a tranquilizer gun when he was struck in the had by a police bullet, which was intended for the tiger. Umm... He died. Not a very interesting story, but oh well. Hey **, Polish Pride?

On a more interesting note, IBM announced that they will soon be releasing 75 gigabyte hard drives. Also, I think this is stupid and uninteresting, but everyone is talking about it, so here you go. A Bulgarian soccer fan had his name legally changed to Manchester United. That's all I'm gonna say, because I think it's gay, but you can read the rest of the story over here.... Mr. Bigglesworth for president! Okay, that was extremely gay. I think I'm gonna go fake sick or some shit, I am so tired.

3.15(8:45PM)://
Damn, you people all suck. Could you at least post something in the forum? Or vote on my poll? Only 6 people voted! I get close to 100 hits a day, and only 6% of them are voting? That's crap. Come on people.

3.15(6:15PM):// Napigator?

All you napster users, check this out.

A 10-year-old boy was arguing with his dad over some chocolate frosting or something, the dad accused the boy of eating it, and it got pretty heavy, lots of yelling and shit. The dad handed the kid a large kitchen knife, and said "If you hate me that much, then just stab me." Well, the kid stabbed him dead. I guess he didn't love his daddy. Okay that was gay, but here is the story.

Afro Pimp is the man! I am gonna get an afro too... First white guy with an afro, haha. Well, maybe not the first, but, yeah.

Today at school, we had to go to an assembly on kids walking on train tracks. I walk home on the tracks all the time, well apparently this is a major offense, you can get arrested for doing it. Over the past few weeks, a few people in this area got killed walkin on the tracks, but that is cuz they were drunk. A 21-year-old guy got hit by the trolley about 2 blocks from my house, but yeah, he was drunk. Because of these morons now we all have to suffer, they like changed the law or something. Then we had to watch a terrible video about traintracks and stuff, it was the worst acting ever, but it was pretty funny because we drenched the kid sitting in front of me with cologne, and me and a few other kids laughed like ridiculously loud at the parts that weren't even supposed to be funny. Okay, well I might post some more later.

3.14(5:15PM):// Who Wants To Marry...

Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire Ex-Con

I found something that I think is sorta gay, but my readers may find it interesting: Virtual Voodoo Dolls. Head on over to pinstruck.com and put a curse on that ex-boyfriend, teacher, or big bully from school who you've been meaning to get back at. Not that it will do shit on their end, but hey, it's a time killer, so have a blast.

This is pretty damn funny. Joseph C. "Joby" Palczynski, 31, who killed four people and kidnapped another in Baltimore County, is the object of an intense five-day manhunt by federal, Maryland, and county authorities. William L. Terrell, a devout Jehovah's Witness, was held captive by Palczynski for 14 hours. He said he did not try to escape because he believed that Jesus had sent Palczynski into his life to be converted. Yeah, that's smart. Read the rest of the story here. Maybe if you pray to god some more, he'll give you some of Justin Timberlake's freaking french toast, which someone payed $1,025 for...

Is beer better for you then milk? Apparently!

Do you have enough room on your hard drive to download Windows 2000? How about Windows 2000, Quake 3 Arena, Microsoft Office 2000, and some other shit? Okay, do you have enough room to download satan? I didn't think so. Well, apparently, some people do... read about it here. That isn't really an accurate description of the article, but it's interesting anyway, so read it.

Oh yeah, some British scientists cloned a pig. Who cares?

3.14(4:45PM):// Everyone Loves Serial Killers!
They are cuddly and extremely huggable. Their methodical killings are almost always sexually-motivated, and tend tend to be part of an elaborate sexual fantasy that builds up to a climax at the moment of their murderous outburst. They usually kill strangers with cooling off periods between each crime. Many of them enjoy cannibalism, necrophilia and keep trophy-like body parts as reminders of their work. Their violent behavior is mostly directed towards women and children, however, some of them seem to enjoy hunting only gay men. Most of them lived in violent households, tortured animals and were bedwetters when they were young, and as adults, most of them have some sort of brain damage and are addicted to alcohol or drugs. What are they? No silly head, guess again. That's right, they're serial killers! Whether you're into cannibalism, beastiality, satanism, anything fun, there is a killer who matches your interests! Who is your favorite? Mine is... Wait a minute, what the hell am I talking about? Serial Killers? I didn't type any of that! I was typing about bunny rabbits! Okay, anyway... Now that I'm talkin about them, find your favorite here. In all honesty though, I think they are sick, but funny to joke about. What would motivate a man to kill over 300 people? Ask Pedro Alonso Lopez, he did it. Okay, enough about this crap.

3.13(5:14PM):// FBI Photo Database & More.
Sorry that my site has been boring lately, I just haven't had much stuff to post. But click here to see the most non-funny comic strip I have ever seen in my life.

Thanks to the miracle of technology we refer to as the internet, you can now retrieve your own picture from the FBI database. If you ask me, this is simply amazing. They had a photo of me and my family when I was 3 months old! Wait a minute... That wasn't me! Well, check it out by clicking here.

And now, the ultimate hardcore wrestling event of the millenium! Coming at you only from pay-per-view, it's.... Churchbrawl!

11-year-old Rudy Donithan-Treat had 161 pokémon cards taken from him by a teacher. He was told he could pick them up at the office at the end of the day, but someone, claiming that there name was Rudy, got there before him, claiming the cards as his own. The imposter and his mom brought the cards back to the school a few days later. Jimmy Lee, Spokesman from the Sheriff's Department, said the case had been classified as grand theft, and referred to the District Attorney's office for review and possible prosecution. Full story here.

Don't go to this site.

3.13(4:12PM):// Eminem's New Album!
The good news is that the first single from Eminem's new album will be out at the end of this month. The bad news is that you have to wait until May 30, 2000 to go out and steal the album.

3.13(1:16PM):// Who Wants To Be A President?


What could this game possibly be a parody of? (Requires Shockwave.)

Passengers aboard an American Airlines flight were a little surprised when a flight engineer opened one of the plane's doors at 12,000 feet to pull in a loose strap. Hey, I guess it was bothering him. Passengers on the flight learned that the door was open when their ears popped and air rushed through the cabin. Here's the full story.

Ivrea, which is located in Northern Italy, is currently holding the annual "Ivrea Carnival". It consists of people rolling out wine, music and festivities, and of course... Well, what party would be complete whithout playing "smear the queer" with a bunch of oranges? This year, an estimated 50,000 people took part in this years "pelting". Man, that sounds fun.

Soon, Europeans will be able to play interactive video games over their cell-phone. I don't have time to summarize the article, but it is cool, check it out here.

And one last thing... Now Nintendo, Sega, and Sony have some competition. It's now who you'd think either. Read more here.

3.12(1:30AM):// Yawn.
Some funny headlines (Cuz I'm tired): Baby Drop-Off Center, Garages Likely To Become Prison Cells For Soccer Fans, Paper Pays Damages In Chocolate Penis Case (Yeah, you read that right), and Man Writes 214-Page Book About A Road.