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4.16(11:45PM):// Dammit, I Have No More Subjects!
Man, having this kind of shit happen to you would really suck. A typical horny male, just looking for some cheap porn, ends up with a $357 phone bill... For what? Well, he downloaded a program that was supposedly a porn movie, but when he ran the program, it reset his modem, and dialed to some number in Chad, which is a small country located in central Africa. That really blows... [More] "Freeze! It's The Love Police! Come out with your hands up, and your pants down!" Okay, that doesn't really sum up what this site is all about, I just thought it sounded funny. Who would ever actually take it seriously though? 73-year-old Maurice Goodship was told by his local hospital that he was pregnant. He received the "good news" when he was discharged from the Royal United Hospital after undergoing four days of tests for a heart condition. On discharge he was given a letter to take to his GP detailing his medication - and discovered that it said that he was pregnant. The hospital has now told Mr Goodship that the mistake was due to a typing error. Um, yeah... I guess too much anal sex will really do that to ya, won't it?[More] Um, I guess this is sort of interesting... You can get all kinds of info on UFO sitings in your own state. God, I hate aliens, I swear they are such assholes. They used to come land on my roof all the time and wake me up at night, and they wouldn't go away until I gave them apple juice. Dicks. And now, ladies and gentelemen, I present to you... A really shitty website. The Adventures Of Homer The Seal. Today Homer decided to wander around in a parking lot near his lake. He approaches empty cars and humps them, his massive bulk squashing fenders, bumpers and mirrors. "He's damaged three vehicles to our knowledge, he's destroyed a rubbish tin, he's flattened a couple of boat trailers, and he's destroyed a tree," said Jamie Quirk, a Conservation Department officer. "He gets quite aggressive at times, but he sure as hell can bring me to an exhilerating orgasm!" [More] I'm gonna go get my mom to sit at the computer with me... this stuff scares me. Well, not really, it's wierd as hell though. The inspiration for all of this artwork? Can you say.... Acid?
That's all for tonight... Yeah, now you can go to sleep Tine, you ungrateful bitch. Lol, just kidding. Night everyone.
It turns out that my girlfriend was just under alot of stress and was looking for the easy way out. She called me back again and said she realized that the desicion was a mistake, and that we should get back together. But some things need to remain personal, my social life in general being one of them. So for now, that's all that you get to hear, not that you're at all interested anyway.
Everyone should check out Jughead's newest comic... It's so convenient how the media keeps up with the morals of our culture, isn't it?
God, I hate writing essays for school. I'm sure you have all heard of those websites with free essays on them. But then you go to them, and you find like two essays, and then 30 links to some cheap porn site. Well, from now on, when you need some essays... Zeet.com is the answer. Um, this is for... Educational purposes only, of course. Right?
And now... The two most confusing web sites... Ever! Superbad.com, despite it's ultra-coolness, has to be the most confusing, not to mention pointless website I have ever come across, with Blorf.com coming in at a close second. Of course, they can't claim the spots withotu some competition from CPI.com, which had me baffled for... Well, I didn't even bother with it, but I'm sure it's not supposed to be easy to figure out. Sometimes you just need to ask Jesus.
A sixth-grader kid in New York was suspended for reciting a "naughty" rhyme to two girls on the playground. The 11-year-old was punished for saying: "Roses are red, violets are black, your chest is as flat as your back." What a moron. He could have at least made it rhyme a little bit better. [More]
This is a pretty cool page, although I'm surprised it hasn't been taken down because of the shit in the "anti-school" section.
My favorite game, Baby BBQ! Okay, I'm tired, check out The Wacky Crackheads. I'm going to sleep.
Me: Do you have any strange fetishes?
Okay, that was a pretty short interview, but I guess I really couldn't think of anything else to ask him... Yeah, he's just a tad bit on the odd side. Check out his "awesome" site by clicking here.
but all I wanted to do was pound your chute I hope you're gonna let me come inside
I love it when it's round and tight What is this? The lyrics to The Bloodhound Gang's newest hit? No, but you're not off by much. It's the lyric's to some song by Ok Kosom. Not that that means anything to you, but you can find more lyric's like this, some even gayer then this, over at ScoopThis.com's Worst Song Lyric's Contest! Pretty funny stuff. Three first-grade students at Virgil I. Bailey Elementary School were plotting to kill one of their classmates, because they were jealous of her. They even went so far as drawing a crude map of where the murder was gonna take place... Which was supposedly in a wooded area near the school. They planned to shoot her, but they also discussed killing her with a butcher knife or hanging her, said a Lake Station Policeman. [More]
Right now I am conducting an interview with the infamous Josef of "JoseF'S PaGe oF DEaTh!!!!!!!11", which I will post a little later on. Also, I finally got some MP3's up, Twinkie and I are sharing MP3 files, we both upload some of 'em, even though he's on a cable modem. (Lucky bastard) So it all works out... Check out what I have so far by clicking here.
Damn, I really need a job... See, the reason it's hard to find one is because I need to find one within like 3 miles, since I'll be walking there some of the time. And there is no way in hell I'm gonna be working at some shithole like McDonalds, I won't be caught dead [working] in there. I don't know what it is about fast-food restaurants, I don't mind eating in them, I just feel strongly agaisnt ever working in one.
The skull of a Pope Benedict XIII, 14th-century pope, has been stolen from a museum in Spain, police said Tuesday. They declined to give details but a newspaper said the skull and the urn holding it vanished Friday from a palace in the town of Sabinan. A strange-looking man was seen the next morning in front of the museum, holding a sign which read "Pope skull for sale." No one questioned him. [More]
"Psycho-Killer Shooting Sprees": Getting a little bit too common? Some seem wore than others, but there is only one way to tell for sure. You have to use the official scoring system.
I honestly doubt anyone really cares, but those of you out there who "thirst for knowledge", click here to learn how a microprocessor works. I didn't actually read it, but I figured I'd put it up anyway.
Want some weed? Yeah, you do. Well, now you can have it delivered straight to your home. With iToke, you can buy with confidence and security. There is only one catch... You gotta live in the UK. Who the hell lives there?
Presenting Primally Pleasing Penis-Pulling Parties... A toungue twister? Yeah, but that's not all it is. It's also the motto of this disgusting, screwed up, homosexual organization which takes places in Philidalphia, of all places! Okay, if you're a member of "The Philly Jacks", do me a favor and let me know, so I can castrate you with a hatchet... You sick piece of shit. And by the way, I do know of several kids my age who do this. They get together (not necesarilly for this reason only) and they go in a room and umm... do stuff together. I just don't get it. WHY? Dammit! What the hell is wrong with people? Look at all of these jack-off clubs! There's so many of them! Sorry, the topic of homosexuality in general tends to get me a little worked up. Lesbians, you're all okay, but guys, keep your hands to yourselves.
Want a baby? Don't feel like taking the risk of getting STD's, but equally hate the thought of filling out thousands of adoption papers? Well, today is your day my friend. E-Baby is here! Quality babies at discount prices, thats what they're all about. Out of all of them, I think I want this one the most. Her name is Vanessa, but she prefers to be called "Lucifer the unholy harbinger of the apocolypse". Isn't that cute?
I don't really hate high school, but I know some people that do. Some people dislike it, and some people hate it with a passion. Well, no matter how you feel, you can probably relate to at least part of this.
I would really love to see some more amazing flash animation such as this. Go here and watch both episodes, they're worth it, and they load almost immediately upon entering the site.
Okay, that was really gay-looking. I want some of these. Um, really badly. Please?
Oh yeah, for those of you who wanted to know the whole story behind the removal of my old page by the police, I typed up the story on my laptop, I'll post it on here most likely tommorow.
"For two and a half years, I suckled at the teat of Old Mother Pornography, working for one of the UK's biggest publishers of smut. At a rough estimate, I must have witnessed 3.7 million pictures of women's fannies, used the term 'pendulous breasts' 21,639 times, been looked at in a funny way by strangers 628 times, and pretended to be an array of saucy housewifes and suburban nymphomaniacs way too many times to want to think about."
Don't we all wish we could be placed under this category? Yeah, everybody wants to be a "pimp, a playa, a balla." Well, maybe not all of you... I guess it just depends on how you were raised.
This is a time-killer: Everyone check out Mugshots.org, for mughot images of your favorite celebrities, children's tv show hosts, cannibal/cult murderers, etc.
Music Videos, anyone?
"i'd just like to say that your page sucks....it has no eye-catching aesthetics.....it's a pain in the ass to see someone think that he's something he's not, i see you look up to stile and killrighty, not to mention your a teenager trying to capture what has already been done....
if i were you i wouldn't make it a career of doing a website that has no eye appealing form.....i don't think you are reading all of the emails from "coma37" ....if i were you i would read thoroughly before you post something and make a dumb ass comment on something
you made your self look dumb by making comments on something you haven't fully read........i dunno why you even bother to try and compete with people that are obviously above your league.....all your page seems to me is you trying to cash in on someone else's hard thought out, heart felt, works of passion, by typing a couple of paragraphs with links making fun of people and trying to make yourself look good, hey everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and mine is this: you should not do a web page, and try to pass yourself off as someone that does it for a living like the rest of us.......this is our jobs to entertain, and not to copy others.......but the thing is this.......you shouldn't go around making enemies at your age......i know your still young, so you haven't learned it yet....but i will tell you this......"Think before you speak, for it might be something you regret"
Well, Irin, you're free to think whatever you like about my page. I couldn't care less. As long as I still have people supporting me I'm gonna keep doing it the way I have been doing it. Thanks for the advice, even though it didn't make any sense. "think before you speak, for it might be something you regret." For what might be something I regret? The speaking? I'm confused. KillRighty...Obviously above my league? Just because he has a domain doesn't make him special, it just shows he is more dedicated to what he does... See, I have other things going on in my life, I would never pay money to keep this site going. And I'm not trying to compete with anyone, just so that is clear. When have I ever tried to cash in on someone elses work? I don't get paid for any of this, first of all, and everything I post on here, besides the stuff that is obviously not mine (links, news stories, etc) is completely original. You call coma's site a "hard thought out, heart felt, work of passion?" Yeah, that's what I call it when I look into the toilet after I took a nice big... Well, you get my point. Theres a lot more in that mail that I could pick apart and comment on, but I have other stuff to do.
Also, I took the post from coma's site about me off of here, since it is his material, even though I never claimed that I wrote it, I was just pointing out to all of you the stuff that he put on his site about me. He has a link to a picture of me on his site. Hmmm... I could be all queer and act like I think he is stealing my content by posting that on his page, but I'm a little more reasonable than that, I see why he posted it, and I wouldn't threaten to sue him over it, if you ask me, it really isn't a big deal.
Two years ago, George Bombardier took a trip across the United States in his golf cart. Now he plans to make the cross-country adventure again. Apparently, the makers of the golf cart said it was impossible to make a trip across the nation in a golf cart, so he wanted to prove them wrong. However, this year, Bombardier said he is doing it because he just feels like it. [More]
What ever happened to Macaulay Culkin, that annoying little kid from the "Home Alone" movies? Find out here.
I already posted a link to this before, but some of you may have missed it, so click here to check out the net's newest e-pimp.
Crawlspace.com? I feel violated! I better sue them! Actually, despite the name similarities, they have probably been around longer then my "John's Crawlspace" sites have been, and it's a pretty cool site, it's comic stuff, check it out.
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