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5.20(12:30AM):// Stuff.
What the hell is this supposed to be? Five third-grade boys were suspended after a girl in their class told officials the boys twice pinned her to the ground while one boy simulated a sex act. [More] Hip-hop superstars the Beastie Boys have been named in a lawsuit by jazz and classical flutist James W. Newton over the use of a sample of his music on their 1992 hit "Pass the Mic." [More] Two Japanese teenagers have been charged with leading a gang that extorted more than £300,000 from a classmate over eight months. The accused boys kept their 15-year-old victim in constant fear by giving him beatings that twice put him in hospital and covering his body with cigarette burns, state prosecutors say. The victim initially told his mother he needed money to help a friend, but even when it became clear that he was being threatened she continued to draw on her late husband's life insurance. In all, 10 youths have been arrested, but because they are juveniles none has been named. The teenagers are said to have used the money they extorted to pay for long-distance taxi rides, dining out, gambling and prostitutes. [More] The parents of a 10-year-old boy who was killed by two men after he resisted their sexual advances filed a $200 million lawsuit Tuesday against the North American Man/Boy Love Association, claiming one of the killers was incited by the group. [More]
5.19(6:14PM):// No Time To Be Doing This...! T.J. Williamson, who was booted from Seattle's public-access cable channel two years ago, is back on the air, flashing the city with nudity and graphic sex scenes. [More] A Kent woman, returning home from shopping, found her husband slain in their home yesterday afternoon, touching off a homicide investigation by police. [More] A woman has admitted to smuggling heroin and cocaine in infant formula cans and said she twice used babies as props to ease the suspicions of customs inspectors. She pleaded guilty Thursday in U.S. District Court to one count of smuggling heroin from Panama and a second count of smuggling liquid cocaine. [More] They were supposed to lure families to Rhode Island. But the giant statues of Mr. Potato Head have attracted another sort: vandals who've ripped off stub noses, chubby arms and, most recently, the entire spud. [More] A veteran Baltimore police lieutenant was arrested yesterday and charged by the FBI with holding up two city banks at gunpoint and stealing nearly $300,000, much of which he allegedly gambled in slot machines at Delaware racetracks. It all makes sense now, doesn't it? [More] It may sound like something from a science fiction story - a floating city of 40,000 people that will slowly circumnavigate the globe - but the building of what will be the world's largest ship is about to begin. The Freedom Ship's creators say the vessel, whose constuction is due to start in Honduras this summer, will be one of the wonders of the world. The company behind the scheme said reservations for the 20,000 homes on board had begun to accelerate, and there were already plans to build two other floating cities. Freedom Ship will be nearly a mile long (4,320ft), 725ft wide and 340ft tall and will have room for 40,000 people, including a staff of 10,000. There will be a school and university on board, not to mention a landing strip, a hospital, a casino, a shopping mall and 200 acres of open space. The idea is that it will slowly travel the world, pausing a few miles out from chosen destinations such as ports or exotic tropical islands that can only be reached by sea. It will be on the move for 25% of the time and otherwise anchored off different ports. People who want to live on board can purchase their homes for prices which range from $150,000 (£94,000) for a small unit to $40m for something rather larger. There will be 20,000 units in total and the whole venture will cost $9 billion. [More] Not since the Miracle Bra and the Wonderbra went to war in 1994, has there been such intense competition for the hearts, souls and cleavage of American women. Julia Roberts' supernatural cleavage in Erin Brockovich intensified the new “Battle of the Bras,” striking a chord with post-feminist women who want to wear what they want to wear, where they want to wear it and when they want to wear it. [More] Speaking of Julia Roberts, she has complained to hotel managers in Mexico after being kept awake all night by a noisy donkey. [More] You live in the United States and need to make a long-distance call. You punch in the number. Instead of hearing rings, you receive a 21-second commercial on your phone company's latest sweepstakes contest. [More] The State Department Thursday said 15 department laptop computers are missing, and warned its employees about their use of laptops. [More] Rapper Dr. Dre on Wednesday delivered to Napster a list of 239,612 users he claims violated his copyrights by downloading his music using the company's song-swap software. [More] Research has finally confirmed what the public has long suspected: Real men don't hug each other. [More] If the City of Vienna has its way, the capital's hallmark carriage horses will soon be wrapped in diapers as they shuttle tourists around the Imperial sights. The council is about to pass a new law regulating the horse-drawn carriages, which includes the stipulation that all horses wear a sack to avoid them "soiling the streets." [More] Now you have another reason to be irritated by the pop-up paper clip that many Microsoft programs use to give help and advice to users. Security experts have found a security hole that could be used by malicious hackers to subvert the paper clip and turn it against users. [More] Two thirds of Russian men die drunk and more than half of that number die in extreme stages of alcoholic intoxication. [More] Animal rights group PETA is fighting for the rights of a new endangered species - a fiberglass cow covered with vegetarian slogans. [More] The National Rifle Association is negotiating a lease for a "total shooting sports" theme restaurant at New York City's Times Square. [More] A man wielding a dud hand grenade brought a sudden halt to a stockholders' meeting in Houston on Wednesday, sending horrified investors rushing for the exit, but the device did not explode and nobody was hurt. [More]
Yeah, alot of news for you today, because I'm not feeling creative.
5.18(11:20PM):// Gladiator... Yep. Speaking of Gladiator, I fell asleep in that movie. Anyway, the talk of the "e/n" scene has been revolving around the comments made by a poster, under the alias 'Gladiator', who is part of the 'staff' at histandard.net. He made some very good points about the internet today, and I recommend you get over there and see what he has to say, although I don't agree with some of it. I just don't like my buddies' sites getting shitted on like that. But if you ask me, there is no such thing as bad publicity. He linked the sites that he talked about, and alot of people have been talking about what he said, leading to me wishing that he would have commented on my site as well. I don't give a shit, I can take constructive criticism, and I want some negative opinions, other than the occasional "your site sux" submitted anonomously by some person who doesn't know how to explain themselves. Anyway, dumpster-diver John has come across yet another goodie, although this one surely isn't recycled, this is "exclusive" shit, and I'm not mentioning any names, but here is an e-mail sent to 'Gladiator' by someone with an obvious writing talent who knows how to get to the point. Want to respond to this person's views? E-mail them. "Hi. I can't imagine some of the crap you've recieved over the past few days about your post on histandard.net but... well, There is no way you could have said the things you said, and couldn't have been fired upon. Truth in part, its people like you that have made sites that copy the origonal e/n format. I really don't think Stile gets all of his hits just because people like looking at gimpy. Some, infact, do like the sickshit. Its like yahoo's clubs. Its like highschool, everyone has a clique.Stile has his readers - they find themselves in the stuff he puts on his sites. It may be weird to you - but its great to some others. Brain-damage.net isn't a bunch of queers. They have a girl, and she's nota lesbo, and she goes by bittersweet. They aren't self-proclaimed geniuses. But I'm willing to be they're smarter than you. Cyber-funk.net may be an online journal, but where is it your place tobash it? Isn't mizi just expressing what he thinks? And aren't you? I don't read freestylin.net but I know some of the posters. They're nice people, and maybe they do complain... but I think its your jealousy thats making you hate them. I'm willing to bet you $10 that bad-lands has histandard.net's link. I like the colors badassmofo uses. Don't critique what you'll never have. Let's compair e/n to britney spears. She's hot, maybe she can't sing all that well - but you know her songs, you like her songs, and even if you didn't like her songs - you DO infact, listen to them. She's become a sensation overnight. Someone - somewhere needed Britney. We needed a new pop princess. - We (the internet) needed something different. A different swing from the whole mass produced .coms out there. We needed something DIFFERENT from E-bay. We needed something different from all the flooders in chatrooms screaming "...and don't forget to sign theguestbook - please!" Personally, I think e/n rocks. And I'm not saying that your observations weren't justified... I'm just saying that they suck, like realllly bad." And that's not all kiddies. I also got his reply. "In all of this essay, you have not showed me how StileProject has a point. People like it because other people like it. If 10 people liked Britney Spears, nobody else would. It's all based on the theory of a herd. The theory of conformity. And you are no different. You are part of the herd and you speak in the herd's voice, not your own, no matter how different you think you are. You did not disprove anything I said about the websites. You simply corrected the "facts." My reason for surfacing and saying what I've said is to show the herds of children what they worship. To say something they can't bring themselves to say. I got the balls, and nobody else does. And how is Stile different? All he does is collect sick pictures from other websites, and then posts it on his own. How unique and original." Now, me having all of this information may lead you to assume that I am the one who wrote the e-mail. Well, you're wrong. I wish I could write that well, and if I could, wouldn't all of my posts since December sound like that? It's all a conspiracy! I swear man, Asian people are amazing. They can build the coolest shit! I mean look at this! Someone build me one of those, please? Okay, now for some news. First of all, hes starring in a straight-to-video release called "Da Hip-Hop Witch", which is yet another spoof of "The Blair Witch Project". Some other famous faces, including hot-as-shit Vitamin-C will be making appearances in the film. [More]
There are rumors circulating that "The Marshall Mathers LP" that is being bootlegged all over the internet is not the actual new album that will be hitting the shelves on May 23rd. I couldn't find any news articles about it, but here is the newest news, and keep checking this link for the latest Eminem news. Well, I'm gonna
go to bed now. BUY ME ONE OF THESE RIGHT NOW.
5.18(5:13PM):// Whoops... From: BarefootHippies@aol.com Subject: ..... Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 01:37:36 EDT Hey John, Its me again. You told me to write if I had something to say, and, well, I do. I was very upset by your recent posts concerning gay men. I don't consider you a bad person in any way, in fact I think you are really cool, but I don't think you have the right to be against all gay males. I have alot of gay males as friends, and I have had long, detailed conversations with most of them about their sexuality. Not one of them wanted to be gay. At all. Its something they can't help, something that was programmed into them, and most of them would give their left arm to be straight. I really don't wanna sound like I'm preaching, cause I know my last letter was also concerning the discrimination of a minority, but I feel VERY strongly on this. I have a lot of straight guy friends too, and they get along fine with everyone, and even really like hanging out with my gay friends. I know as a straight guy, its hard for you to look at it with a wide perspective, but I think if you try, you can see that they are people too, just like black people and mentally handicapped people etc. I am not asking you to change your views for me, I don't ask that of anyone. I just hope that you might be able to think a little more about how they could feel, reading what you've written. If you wanna talk any more on this subject, please let me know...but if you don't I understand. You have a great page, keep it up... Love, Sarah She's right. I really jumped to conclusions there, it really has never struck me that some homosexuals are born that way, and they want to be straight. That must really suck... So here is my sincere apology to anyone I may have offended by what I posted. Sorry, and I'll try to be a little more sensitive towards other peopels feeling from now on. Except for Russian's, they suck. Haha, just joking.
I have to go now, I'm goin' over to my girlfriends house or something. Yes, that damn System Of A Down CD is still not uploaded yet.
5.18(6:41AM):// The American Dream. Heres my favorite response to the fake personal ad that I placed thus far. It's a letter from a typical American asshole male, ready to cheat on his wife at the drop of a dime. "Finally a woman who lives near me that is also hot and beautiful!! I'm 35 and from colonial park and hoping to make it with a younger hot lady like yourself for my birthday that is fast approaching!I'm in a relationship with a child so dicretion is a must. Let meknow if and when we can meet. thanks and bye 4 now. p.s. also I'm not bad looking 200 pounds and 6'6" tall with thin build and lots of energy to keep going and going --you know like the energizer bunny--ha hope to hear from you soon." - BelowMe1st When I first read that one, I thought he meant he was having a relationship with a little kid, as in like him and a little kid seeing each other and doing sexual stuff. It would have been alot funnier if that was what he was saying. I'm gonna post a new ad, this time with a pic of an equally hot girl, but with the wierdest interests, like making japscat videos and killing small animals, with a collection of all of her nieghbors dead pets in her silverwear drawer. Anyway, here are a few others that I thought were funny. I know most of you are not too fond of reading these, they aren't really that funny... Well screw you, it's my page, I'll do whatever the hell I want! "I am thinking about finding a friend on here to go camping with and sexualy abuse her body for pleasure for two weeks. Maybe a relationship will happen to as I am looking for a roomate in Calgary, then after that know knows. A little more about me I am 35 I will be 36 in June 6 and I am a virgin in a way. You see my apendix ruptured and it killed all my nerves below my waist. Now I got my nerves back( they had to regrow 1/2 inch a year) anyway now I only have a problem with sex. You see a lady can give me a blowjob and I can't harly even feel it. When my cock is inside of her pussy well, I can leave it there for hours and not come and still be hard. It does kind of hurt after a while when I don't come and I am just seeking a lady that can teach me and make me come fully. Cause I finally do want a lady that can please me. I am d/d free and hiv free. Have a profile in the Hangout section at excite/ energizer seeks bunny If you like it send me a letter back. PS: By the way I am serious and not joking just to get laid. NO lady can satisfy me yet! virgin in a way and profile listed/ Calgary, Alberta." - Some Gimp "I love sex and would do just about anything a woman wants and always like to do the wild stuff.I am in michigan I think you are one hot sexy woman would make you feel real good anytime you want" - Some Desperate Virgin Social Outcast "Hi, I'm taking a shot-in-the-dark.My name is Eric & I live near Reading,PA.I never had a woman who could keep up with me,yet!My kids would think I'm sick for taking this shot,but who knows?I've always wondered what its like being with a sweet nympho, or any nympho.You are very sweet looking!!!Very pretty eyes!! I enjoy making a woman cum!!!I enjoy drinking a womans cum!!!!My question is for how long can you cum???Shall we see? 3 times your crotch is numb,9-12 your face is numb,cumming for 1-1.5hrs, you wake up with a stiff neck!!!!!!And if I'm lucky,my eyes are pasted shut!!!!!!!!Hope your smiling!Sounds weird I know,but I have fun!I am interested and it would be amazing to get together,I'm 5'7",185lbs.,have a small gut, dark hair(but you better hurry,it's turning gray),hairy chest(some woman like that),and last(this may kill my shot)I'm 43yrs young.(I practiced on all the others!)My kids think I'm a cool dad ,they live with there mom.At least email me back ,it took me 1hr to type this.They didn't have this class when I was in school!!!In my dreams" - Eric, The Father That Failed ",i>Very oral, 45 year old male, live and work locally, dark brown hair, green eyes, medium build, clean, d&d free but not fixed. Have seven circumsized inches for you , enjoy most anything but pain, scat and watersports. Like to relish you in lingerie, heels etc. Varied positional likes. Hope to hear from you soon." - Some Guy Who Likes Pain, Scat, & Watersports, He's Just Not Willing To Admit It "hey baby whats up?goodlooking babydoll like u shouldn't be alone.u gotta have em lined up.u can have anybody u want.just what kind of work do u do?i don't live to far from u.ok babydoll talk at u soon bye now." - Doll Collector
"Hi, I am a male 27 years old, nice, good looking, straight teeth, clear
skin, six feet tall, brown hair and eyes, and well built (I weigh 190 pounds).
I have never been married nor do i have any kids. In addition, I am well
educated currently holding a masters degree in political science. However,
now after all that you knew there had to be a however, well the thing is I am
very very kinky, and I am dying to find a girl who I can be with that is as sick
and perverted as I am. I am totally normal in every way, except when it
comes to sex, I am really really kinky and nasty. I like things such as anal sex, fisting (your whole hand in my ass and my hand in your ass or pussy), piss
(where we piss all over each other, or I can spread your ass open and stand
over it and piss in its gaping opening, then insert a speculum, then piss
in it, then insert a tube into the hole of your ass which is being held open
by the speculum, and make you suck out the piss through the tube I have
inserted), toys, snowballing (where I cum my load in your mouth and you
hold it in until we kiss and pass it back and forth in our mouths), and enema
(where I put a tube up your ass and fill it with warm piss or water, then
once your ass is full you could squat over me and release it in my mouth). As
for everything else about me I come from a really good family, I don't have
any baggage, and I am good looking (I am not being conceited, I just want you
to know I am not some fat nasty guy sitting naked behind his computer). You
see, I am not looking for sex, I can get it if I need to, I want a girl who has
her head on straight and is as nasty and perverted as I am. So if this does
not interest you I thank you for your time, and wish you good luck in your dating quests. J Aaron. P.S. I live in Sacramento, CA, and work in Auburn, CA" - This letter answers my question, "Who the hell looks at this crap!?" Very disturbing.
5.17(10:09PM):// Nasal Sex Rules! This is a fake personal ad that I placed a few days ago, using an image I found on the web. Well, I set up an e-mail adress at simplypimp.com to recieve all of the responses to the ad, and when I checked it today, there were 363 messages. Damn, I'm sure there are some funny ones in here, but I don't wanna read through all of these! One thing is for sure... Every single one of these e-mails is sexually-orientated... Hey, at least you get less colds if you have alot of sex... What? Well, according to this anyway. Heres a few examples of the types of e-mails I recieved. "HI, What's up, ever get Boston look me up for sure, would love to hook up, go out then have some hot pasionate sex, would love to see those beautiful breasts of yours." - Jay "Hi, my name is kim, I am chinese, 25y/o 5'10" and 180lbs. I live in newport news, virginia. I am looking for some who can share for fantasy in a long love making session with and teach me all the right move and I will surprise you with all some of mine." - Kim "i am 23 and i work in the television and film industry. i make a good living. i am looking for some to spend time with and to make happy. do you think this might be you? i hope so. .can you send me a picture of you? bye for now Tim ps..tell me a secret about yourself, something not many people now send me your email address for a pic!" - Tim "Hi. I saw your ad last week and wanted to respond, but I wasn't quite sure what to say to you? Well, I've thought about it ever since, and today I'm going to write you, so here goes ... My friend Amy asked me to check out her new ad last week in the Pennsylvania ads, and while doing so I noticed "sweet nympho seeks partner" and liked what you had to say. Actually your photo caught my eye first because you look so much like a girl I once had a major crush on (Jess), but comparing is not very fresh, so I'm won't go there. I told Amy about what I had seen and she suggested that I give it a shot. A little bit about me - I'm a 24 year old student from Upstate NY near Syracuse. I think you might know where that is? I love basketball, rollerblading, concerts, and running with scissors. ha! My affection is for strawberry daiquiris and I have an absolute weakness for red hair! Stop me if I sound too penpalish ... I'm not sure if that's even a word? I've never really responded to a personal ad before, so I'm not quite sure what to expect... well there was one, but that was for Dave Matthews tickets. I'm single at the mo, and I guess looking for fun in all the wrong places. Basically looking for someone new to laugh and be stupid with me. But don't get me wrong ... I'm not a featherhead. Actually I'm a pretty smart cookie. I'm going to be honest and tell you that you could pretty much count all of my sexual experiences on one hand ... actually one finger, but I spent a great deal of time set on the 'waiting for marriage' campaign. I've never known a real life 'nympho' before, so your stroy obviously intrigues me. I'm always willing to try something new and would love to please a woman orally. I've been paying a great deal of attention to what books and friends like Amy say drives a girl wild, and I'm confident I've worked out a technique that would send sparks throughout your body, and the best part would be watching you burry you head in the pillows and squeel with delight. But I don't want to get too far ahead. Just wanted to let you know what I can bring to the table. We can discuss this in more detail if we find that we like eachother. I know you'll probably receive hundreds of emails just like mine, but if you like what you hear and you haven't found anyone yet, please write me back. I think you'll be pleasantly suprised. I think I have an idea in what part of the map New Cumberland lies, and my semster ends next week so I will be able to do some traveling. I hope to hear from you soon. P.S. Oh, and I'm dying to know your name. I'm going to guess and say you look like a Pauline? Or perhpas a Meredith? Am I getting warmer?" - Andrew Alot of the responses were sincere, some of them were really long too... I feel like an asshole now. Wait, nevermind, I don't.
Man, I'm sick and tired of updating this site. I would love to be able to provide you with more multimedia content, but unfortunately that isn't possible, since no one will give me any damn server space... Greedy bastards. Pash let me store stuff on his box, but for some strange reason when I upload to it, it goes at like .5 K/Second, which is a pain in the ass. Maybe I need a new hobby... No, collecting used condoms is not exactly what I had in mind.
5.17(6:17PM):// How Not To Rob. The North Shore Times News crime column reported that a man walked into Brookvale McDonalds at 8:50 AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because she said she couldn´t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered a Big Mac, the clerk said they weren´t available until 10:30 AM as only the breakfast menu was on offer. Frustrated, the man walked away.
5.17(5:49PM):// A Recipe For Fun. Ingredients Needed: - One 30 gallon trash bag black in color, "Hefty" or "Glad" brand name recommended. However, any generic brand of .9 mil vinyl will do. - 5 pounds of solid waste, preferably semi-solid (poop). - One glass cutter (smaller size is optimum for concealed profile). - One half pound of black gun powder. - One standard roll of duct tape (aka "McGuyver Tape" / go figure?). 1. Infiltrate the targets residence. 2. Locate a light fixture that is on a ceiling. This fixture should ideally have a switch near the entrance of the room, you want the subject to reach for the switch with no idea what is coming. 3. Remove the light bulb, and score it hemispherically with the glass cutter. 4. Carefully break the top half of the bulb, so that the filament is exposed. 5. Replace light bulb to the fixture (aka 'as found'). Make sure that the switch is in the 'off' position. 6. Directly beneath the fixture 'build' a matrix of duct tape at least two feet wider than the dimensions of the solid waste in the plastic bag (sticky side up). 7. Place the sealed bag of solid waste in the center of the matrix. The bulk of the material should be semi flat. 8. In the center of the bag make an indentation about the size of a fist (Q.E.D. use your fist). 9. Place the gun powder in the indentation. 10. The entire assembly must be lifted to the ceiling, and the duct tape fastened around the fixture. The filament of the light bulb should be in the middle of the gun powder on all vectors.
I hope the outcome of this operation doesn't need to be explained. The possibilities for spreading chaos with this type of operation is unmatched. Thanks to UCB Agent Ursus Maritimus for this.
5.17(5:16PM):// Naked Sheep Versus The Queers. Okay, this is so sweet! Naked Sheep Of The World is the hottest sheep site I have ever seen. And trust me, I've seen alot. I'll be busy with this site tonight, believe me! Okay, now I've actually found a site that I wouldn't mind supporting. Unfortunately, no one really realizes some of the shit that this page is pointing out... It's the truth about homosexuals. I mean, when you think of a gay person, you think of, like, Richard Simmons, all fruity and hopping around with loose wrists and a lisp. But do you think of anal penetration and the other disgusting things that are frequently practiced by gay men? Homosexuality is becoming widely accepted in our culture, it slowly creeped its way into the media, and now a homosexual character in a sitcom is just as common as Bill Clinton's magic wand in an intern's mouth. When Ellen came out of the closet a few years ago, it was a big deal. But now we don't even think twice about it when we see stuff like this on TV. I mean lesbians are fine, I just don't like gay dudes. (Typical guy, right?)
"First, let me remind us all that it is our charge NOT to hate the homosexual, just the homosexuality. Many homosexuals have been productive and contributory citizens. Some are genius in art and literature. Some are medical masters. And some are top notch educators, genius in their own right. That they are homosexual is irrelevant to their scientific and artistic excellence." [ A direct quote from this site.] I'm sorry, but I don't agree with that quote. Maybe it is only morally right not to hate the actual people, but not only do I hate the actions, I "We shall sodomize your sons, emblems of your feeble masculinity, of your shallow dreams and vulgar lies. We shall seduce them in your schools, in your dormitories, in your gymnasiums, in your locker rooms, in your sports arenas, in your seminaries, in your youth groups, in your movie theater bathrooms, in your army bunkhouses, in your truck stops, in your all male clubs, in your houses of Congress, wherever men are with men together. Your sons shall become our minions and do our bidding. They will be recast in our image. They will come to crave and adore us. Women, you cry for freedom. You say you are no longer satisfied with men; they make you unhappy. We, connoisseurs of the masculine face, the masculine physique, shall take your men from you then. We will amuse them; we will instruct them; we will embrace them when they weep. Women, you say you wish to live with each other instead of with men. Then go and be with each other. We shall give your men pleasures they have never known because we are foremost men too, and only one man knows how to truly please another man; only one man can understand the depth and feeling, the mind and body of another man. All laws banning homosexual activity will be revoked. Instead, legislation shall be passed which engenders love between men. All homosexuals must stand together as brothers; we must be united artistically, philosophically, socially, politically and financially. We will triumph only when we present a common face to the vicious heterosexual enemy. If you dare to cry faggot, fairy, queer, at us, we will stab you in your cowardly hearts and defile your dead, puny bodies. We shall write poems of the love between men; we shall stage plays in which man openly caresses man; we shall make films about the love between heroic men which will replace the cheap, superficial, sentimental, insipid, juvenile, heterosexual infatuations presently dominating your cinema screens. We shall sculpt statues of beautiful young men, of bold athletes which will be placed in your parks, your squares, your plazas. The museums of the world will be filled only with paintings of graceful, naked lads. Our writers and artists will make love between men fashionable and de rigueur, and we will succeed because we are adept at setting styles. We will eliminate heterosexual liaisons through usage of the devices of wit and ridicule, devices which we are skilled in employing. We will unmask the powerful homosexuals who masquerade as heterosexuals. You will be shocked and frightened when you find that your presidents and their sons, your industrialists, your senators, your mayors, your generals, your athletes, your film stars, your television personalities, your civic leaders, your priests are not the safe, familiar, bourgeois, heterosexual figures you assumed them to be. We are everywhere; we have infiltrated your ranks. Be careful when you speak of homosexuals because we are always among you; we may be sitting across the desk from you; we may be sleeping in the same bed with you. There will be no compromises. We are not middle-class weaklings. Highly intelligent, we are the natural aristocrats of the human race, and steely-minded aristocrats never settle for less. Those who oppose us will be exiled. We shall raise vast private armies, as Mishima did, to defeat you. We shall conquer the world because warriors inspired by and banded together by homosexual love and honor are invincible as were the ancient Greek soldiers. The family unit-spawning ground of lies, betrayals, mediocrity, hypocrisy and violence--will be abolished. "The family unit, which only dampens imagination and curbs free will, must be eliminated. Perfect boys will be conceived and grown in the genetic laboratory. They will be bonded together in communal setting, under the control and instruction of homosexual savants. All churches who condemn us will be closed. Our only gods are handsome young men. We adhere to a cult of beauty, moral and esthetic. All that is ugly and vulgar and banal will be annihilated. Since we are alienated from middle-class heterosexual conventions, we are free to live our lives according to the dictates of the pure imagination. For us too much is not enough. The exquisite society to emerge will be governed by an elite comprised of gay poets. One of the major requirements for a position of power in the new society of homoeroticism will be indulgence in the Greek passion. Any man contaminated with heterosexual lust will be automatically barred from a position of influence. All males who insist on remaining stupidly heterosexual will be tried in homosexual courts of justice and will become invisible men. We shall rewrite history, history filled and debased with your heterosexual lies and distortions. We shall portray the homosexuality of the great leaders and thinkers who have shaped the world. We will demonstrate that homosexuality and intelligence and imagination are inextricably linked, and that homosexuality is a requirement for true nobility, true beauty in a man. We shall be victorious because we are fueled with the ferocious bitterness of the oppressed who have been forced to play seemingly bit parts in your dumb, heterosexual shows throughout the ages. We too are capable of firing guns and manning the barricades of the ultimate revolution. Tremble, hetero swine, when we appear before you without our masks."
...Yeah, that's realistically gonna happen... I mean I laughed really loud when I read it, but it's gross too. This was publicly stated by a homosexual revolutionary in 1987. We really need to start Restoring America's Pride...
5.17(7:01AM):// QWERTY! Okay, I said something about posting the System Of A Down album yeterday, well... Get this - It's still uploading! Every time I come to the computer there is an error message saying like "Data Transfer Interrupted" or something. This never used to happen to me when I uploaded stuff. Maybe it's the server? Standing 13 feet tall at the hips and stretching 41 feet long with teeth as long as your forearm, Sue is the largest, most complete and best-preserved Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton ever discovered. Sue will be unvieled today in a museum in Chicago. For some hot, sexy pics of this dinosaur, click here. Damn, that's some good stuff. [More] The Coca-Cola company is being sued by a bunch of angry black workers who claim there was discrimination in the way they ran things, especially the payroll. The Company is doing the best that they can to make amends for what they supposedly did, but those who were discriminated against aren't touched at all by the efforts. I don't buy it. [More] Germany is accepting moral responsibility for Nazi war crimes, including the use of slave and forced laborers and the theft of Jewish property, under a historic, nearly $5 billion accord that aims to finally resolve these issues, according to a draft of the agreement. I honestly doubt it is going to take care of everything, but they can try. The May 12 draft commits Germany and its companies to splitting the cost of the fund in return for U.S. guarantees that they will not face any more claims from Holocaust survivors. The participant asked not to be named. About 240,000 people, mainly Jews, whom the Nazis tried to kill by using them as slave laborers, and around one million former forced laborers, who suffered less severe hardships, were expected to get payments from the new fund. Umm... Hey, I was in Auschwitz too, where the hell is my money? [More] Speaking on Nazi's and stuff, I found an article on how homosexuals and Jehovah's witnesses were treated by the Nazi's in comparison to everyone else. I actually read most of it, pretty interesting, click here to give it a look.
I found another interesting article, about Columbine and some stuff, but I gotta get to school, so I don't have time to summarize it. click here to read it. Hopefully, when I get home from school, that damn System Of A Down CD will be done uploading so I can post it... Jeez.
5.16(6:12PM):// Damn. Okay, I'm gonna be serious for a second. What the hell is up with shit? It is all over the internet, and I'm damn tired of it. It's not super-easily-accessible, but knowing that it's out there is enough to get me a little bit stirred up. Who poses for these photos? Who will sink to the level of allowing another human being to excrete feces into their mouth for a wad of cash? If you ask me, it's yet another fine example of where our society is headed. And the people who pose for this stuff aren't the only ones who worry me. What about the consumer? Who the hell looks at this? I mean seriously... It just can't be possible to become aroused from looking at something like this. If anyone reading this can answer my questions, I would honestly like to hear from you... Yes, you, the scumbag who gets off from lookin' at what I was talking about. Well, I gotta admit, this is the first ass-kicking machine I have ever seen in my entire life. It's kinda confusing, my guess is they just strap you in, turn it on, and let it kick your ass... Anybody out there still not sure how to get back on Napster since you've been banned? Okay, if you are that stupid, just click here and download the file. You'll need WinZip or a similiar file-decompressor.
I have a doctors appointment now, when I get back I'll post the System Of A Down album.
5.15(9:56PM):// Feminist Women Love Eminem. The new Eminem CD, "The Marshall Mathers LP"! Thanks to my bud Tonic for uploading this for me, not that he needs anymore hits (Grrr...) but check out his site here. Oh yeah, and for all you suckers, click here if you are actually planning on buying the CD. Okay, here are the actual files. 01. Public Service Announcement 2000 Okay, check out Suffocation, I think it has a really cool layout. That's the only plug for today. I am so tired... Maybe when I go to sleep, I'll dream about some awesome chicks like this one.
Sorry for such a small update. More tommorow, this time with some more MP3's!
5.15(7:34PM):// You Guys Won't Believe This! My computer read my mind or something! This is so wierd! It has a mind of its own! I went to this page and it told me to pick a card, so I did, and ahhhhhhh! The machines are taking over! Note: Sarcasm, anyone? Anyway, I just got home from the mall, I got some clothes and stuff. Just in case you're all wondering why I didn't update any earlier than this. If you ask me, this website has had a serious lack of content lately, but don't worry, I'm doing my best. Want some gum? A woman in southern Russia was injured when a helicopter plunged into woods near her home and accidentally fired rockets into her apartment as it went down. Apparently, it was on its way to Chechnya. Since when do helicopters take shortcuts through the woods? Not smart... Is it just a coincidence that stuff like this doesn't tend to happen in the U.S? [More]
Some new games on the horizon are strring up quite a bit of controversy. In Simon & Schuster Interactive's upcoming game, "Panty Raider", you have to take pictures of chicks in bikinis on the beach and hit women three times with a ball. Each time the woman is hit, a piece of clothing disappears. In Nintendo's newest title, "Conker's Bad Fur Day", Conker is jumping out of a boat at the beaches of Normandy (think "Saving Private Ryan"), when all his furry buddies get shot up in gouts of cartoon blood. Another scene has him peeing on some other characters that are on fire, and weapons range from uzi's to chainsaws. Why would this be at all controversial? These two games don't even sound fun. I remember when Mortal Kombat was controversial, that started like 4 years ago, and that was 'worse' than this. Stupid conservatives. Retro games were better anyway.
Napster - Will someone please just come to some kind of conclusion? I'm so sick of hearing about this! Anyway... So far, it looks like Napster is losing.
Some police officer with nothing better to do saw a 15-year-old pick his nose, wipe the snot on the window of a restaurant, and then walk away. The policeman caught up with the boy and asked his name. When the boy wouldn't answer, he took him to the police station. God, that kid must be one hell of a badass. Oh yeah, this all happened in Philly. [More]
A contestant who won $1,000 on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire last August is suing ABC for $2 million to cover damages and emotional distress. It's actually alot more complicated than that though. [More]
A German psychologist with a "passion" for naked jogs through a park in his home town was fined $1,100 by a court, and ordered to keep his pants on in the future. In Germany, the police really do take justice into their own hands... See, when they caught him running nude, they raped him up the arse, and then took him to a Rammstien concert. [More]
Sumo wrestler Asanokiri's loin cloth fell off during a match, exposing his one-eyed trouser snake on national television. The red-faced giant automatically forfeited the match under an obscure rule that penalizes a wrestler for allowing his privates to be exposed by not wrapping his "mawashi" belt tightly enough. Apparently, he wasn't too embarassed about his wang hanging out, but when everyone found out it was only an inch-and-a-half long, he ran from the stadium. [More]
Israeli scientists have developed the world's first system for transmitting smells in real time, just as television transmits pictures. Some sites are ready and waiting to take advantage of this technology - Namely, The Erotic Feces Gallery, and Upchuck Utopia. [More]
Two Russian fags were sentenced to a year each in prison for posing on the Internet as renegade nuclear rocket commanders with plans to wipe out cities in Europe. Um, I used to do stuff like that on AOL all the time... [More]
5.14(11:16PM):// Anything For My Fans. Screw that, I can lose a little sleep for you guys, I'll post one of the things I had done earlier. Here is a list of the top ten female individuals currently in the media spotlight whom I would enjoy the most to impregnate... Therefore, turning them into mothers! See, we got a theme goin' here, right?
Oh yeah, and here is the other thing that I did. In "Disney's Aladdin", remember when Aladdin is outside of Princess Jasmines room, and he falls off of the side of that deck thingie, and then lands on the magic carpet? You don't remember that? Oh, well niether do I, I was just saying... No, but seriously, right about then, if you listen very carefully, you can hear a voice in the background saying "All good teenagers, take off your clothes!" Pretty wierd... Don't believe me? Take a listen for yourself, click here. What do you think? That's not the only thing people have came across in Disney movies. There are a few others that I can think of off of the top of my head that people have shown me. Another one was in "The Lion King", Simba is at the top of a hill, and as he slumps down onto the ground, dust and grass fly into the word, spelling out the word "S-E-X". See?
Well, I gotta get to bed. But I finally got some space to upload files! Thanks to Tonic for helpin' me out, and thanks also to Pash for the space! What does this mean to you? Expect my posts to have alot more interesting stuff in them... And a large MP3 section with the newest songs in it. Trust me, I stay on top of the music, and when I like it, you'll see it here. So that's good, right?
5.14(10:49PM):// That Did Not Just Happen... Okay... Trying to calm down... I just typed an entire update, one of the biggest one's for a long time, and then my computer crashed! Son of a... Mmmph! This blows. I hafta get to bed now, I'm really sorry to everyone who came here expecting to find some entertainment. I promise, tommorow I will make it up to you. Damn, keeping this website up is a real pain in the arse.
5.14(4:28PM):// Re: Mother's Day Extravangaza! Okay, well me and my girlfriend are gonna do something, so expect that post a little later tonight. Sorry 'bout that.
5.14(11:23AM):// Mother's Day Extravangaza! When I get home from breakfast n' shit, expect a HUGE update! You won't be dissapointed, so I will be expecting all of you premature-ejaculators back here in a little while.
5.14(1:18AM):// Yeah. Some pages to check out... "The Page", Publicized Productions, and The Uncoolers. Hey, I'm not a complete asshole, people ask for plugs... I give 'em plugs. By the way, to the dude who runs Publicized.com, my name is John, not Jack. You linked my site as "Jack's Crawlspace". But hey, it made me laugh, so that's a plus. To all of my Male Readers. Not too well-endowed in "that" area? Well, fear not, some company is here to save the day! You loser, you just clicked on that link, didn't you? Anyway, tonight me and my girlfriend went to the Phillies/Braves game at the Vet, and it was cool. We brought posterboard with plans to make offensive signs, but we just never got around to it, I was unmotivated because I felt like I was tripping or something, I felt wierd as shit. Anyway, some guy was taking to me and then he opens up this bag and gives me some t-shirts and signs that say "Rocker Sucks", referring to John Rocker of the Braves, because of his racist remarks a few months ago. Anyway, we were holding up the sign he gave me, and we got yelled at, they said if they saw it again they'd make us leave the game. I'm not necessarily for or against this Rocker guy, but I think controversy is funny, so I held up the signs. Well, at about 9:00 PM, it started to storm, and then the wind started... Damn, that was some strong wind, hats were flying off and everything! I heard that in some parts of Philly there was 110 MPH winds blowin around. Whoops, there goes Jimmy! Where the hell did that come from? Heh, anyway, the game got canceled, or so we thought, so after about 20 minutes of watchin the whole stadium empty out, we decided to leave. Well, at about 12:30-ish I turned on UPN, and the game had just started going again. Some people actually stayed there for that long!
Okay, I am so extremely tired I can't even think straight. Look at these photos, they are funny as shit. I'm off to bed.
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