John's Crawlspace

		Here Comes The Story Of A Hurricane				6.29 7:24 PM

Yep, the site is finally back up. How long will it stay that way? I really don't know. With the luck I've been having, probably a week at the most. I should probably just give ina nd let Sin host me... But, we'll just wait and see what happens.

Anyway, yesterday at work was pretty freaking wierd. We just got intercoms installed so if I am at the checkout in the front of the store, and I need something, I can just push the button and talk to whoever is back in the office. Well, just me and this one girl, Marcia, were working, and we were both in the front of the store. The intercom kept turning on, and some girls voice was saying, "Hello, are you there?" It happened at least ten times, it was sorta starting to freak me out, because those things send the intercom messages through the electric wiring, so it couldn't have been a radio signal from a walky-talky or anything. Anyway, just thought I'd share.

God, Anal Mullet rules.

GO GO ROBO CAR! Sodomizo animales del campo muertos!

The Sluts Of The Lilith Fair - I found that article to be pretty funny.

Thanks to Love @ AOL, I have found my perfect match, my soulmate - I just know that we were destined for one another. He may be a freaky juggalo... But I love him. Also, if you're ever in the Atlanta area, give Mistress Sharen a hollar, that is, if you're looking for a good time.

Alot of you have probably heard about this already, but I don't watch much TV, and I don't listen to the radio, so I hadn't heard about it at all. That's just sick. I'm disgusted, I didn't even read the whole article. Sick shit.

		I Am Brutality				6.4 7:27 PM

Want to go on IRC, but you're behind a firewall? Well, now you can, thanks to this link. Unfortuantely, it's java-based, but hey, beggars can't be choosy. This should be especially useful to slackers at work and college students with no lives.

A whole lot of people have been sending me screen shots of their scores on kick ups. Please don't send anymore. The highest score I recieved a screenshot of was 95, but please don't send anymore, it's getting annoying.

Oh yeah, and I found another fun game, it's not quite as addicting, but it's pretty cool, click here to check it out.

Novokain's new layout is just amazing, so be sure to check that out, and while you're at it, check out Delusions.

I am really getting tired of my clunky old MP3 player... I want one of these!

There's nothing like finding 200 dead puppies in a barn to put a nice big smile on your face... Right?

Damn, Sony is pathetic! Read this article to see what I'm talking about.

Haha, this is kinda funny - It's another flash animation.

This site is pretty cool - Which Simpson's character are you most like?

This is one of the coolest flash animations I have ever seen.

Some of you might enjoy this link, if you want to 'spice up' your windows wallpaper.

Well, I have some homework to do now, teachers are givin' out all kinds of shit since it's the end of the year.

		Roll Up On You Like Christopher Reeves				6.3 1:11 AM

Damn, I had a whole update typed up, and then I lost it, along with the rest of my page. Thanks to this lovely lady, I got it back.

Wow, check it out, The Human Cow scored a whopping fifty eight points on that kick-ups game. At least ten other people sent me screen shots of their scores as well, which prompted the hotmail staff to delete a bunch of my older saved messages, since my inbox was 'full'. Thanks guys.

I don't have time to do anything else now, I have a shitload of homework to do, and I have to work tommorow, so I'll leave you with this link, another game to get addicted to.

		Can't Even Breathe				6.2 12:49 AM

I forgot, I was gonna post my SAT score on here, in case anyone is interested... I got an 1100, which is pretty good I guess, but I did better on PSATs, which I got a 1600 on. I am going to take them again though, hopefully I'll do better.

I am working on getting all the MP3s on this site back up... I just need to install anti-leech software first, so you homosexuals will stop felching my files.

I absolutely can't stop playing this game. I put some pizza in the oven, sat down, and found this link. I started playing. 45 minutes later, the pizza is burnt to a crisp, and I am still playing. Make it go away. Anyway, my high schore is 27, and I need to stay away from that game.

This flash animation is one of the wierdest things I have seen in awhile, but it cracks me up. But this doesn't crack me up, because it's freaking sick.

Gotta love Flat Eric.

		That Cough Came With A Prize				5.30 6:19 PM

I got the third "everyday hotties" gallery up - Yeah, I know it took awhile, I was just really lazy, but anyway... Click here to check out the new gallery.

I was just reading an article about the kid who set himself on fire after seeing Johnny Knoxville on Jackass do it. He blamed the entire thing on MTV and Jackass. "I don't blame myself, I kind of blame the show," said Thomas Hitz, which is the name of the moron who tried to light himself on fire, without at all thinking of the consequences. "We did it because we saw it on Jackass and we were copying the show. In real life kids don't think. They think they're invincible, so they don't worry about what will happen." This kid is an absolute moron, and I'm glad these kids are killing themselves off by trying shit that they see on TV, because it is slowly eating away at the insanely large amount of idiots in our country.

Two old men charged with spraying fart spray Saturday night inside of a grocery store. Fart spray can be so much fun, I have used that stuff so many times, and getting reactions out of people is always so great. Anyway, click here to read the full story.

I wanna chill with Jenna Bush sometime... Aside from the fact that she's pretty hot, it seems like she knows how to have a good time... This article marks the second time she has gotten into trouble where alchohol was involved. Yeah, that's my kinda girl!

Wouldn't it suck if you got a tattoo... And afterwards, you realized that they spelled something wrong? Well, that's what happened to this guy.

The Recording Industry Association of America filed suit against file-sharing service Aimster in U.S. District Court in New York on May 24th for copyright infringement. The RIAA is seeking an injunction to stop the transfer of copyrighted material through the service, which is tied into America Online's Instant Messenger service. This case may be a tougher legal battle for the RIAA, because, unlike Napster, Aimster's service more closely resembles copying material onto tapes which is defined as "fair use." "We've never said that we encourage people to share music and violate copyright," says Aimster founder John Deep, "we don't say that anymore than Microsoft does or AOL does.

Why the hell didn't I have one of these when I was younger? Huh?

Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers.com - Need I say more?

This really kicks ass, I can't wait to see what kinds of stuff robots are used for in the future.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?

		Just A Quick Note				5.30 7:11 AM

To those of you who remember how great Scour Exchange was - It's back. But keep your pants on, because it sucks now, they control the content that is available on it. So unless you are looking to expand your collection of "The Flying Burrito Brothers" MP3s, you'd be better off looking elsewhere.

		Dammit.				5.29 9:52 PM

Man, this blows. My host deleted all of my MP3 files because I was using up too much bandwidth - So now, any links to .MP3 files on the site are broken. That sucks, I know, but there's not a whole lot I can do. If you're willing to share some space with me, please let me know, I don't need a whole lot, and I'd really appreciate it. Especially since I just got the new D12 CD, and it has a bunch of good Eminem tracks on it that I wanted to upload.

		Let Your Bloodline Feed My Youth				5.28 6:41 PM

I went to see the movie Blow last night, but I can't say much about it, because I fell asleep. Why the hell does that always happen?

I didn't update at all this weekend because my friend Ryan came down to visit. I guess it woulda been cool, but I have been feeling pretty damn depressed lately, so that puts a damper over alot of things. Anyway, here's some crap to keep you entertained.

I finally got ahold of some of the tracks from the upcoming Slayer album, entitled "God Hates Us All." Personally, I'm not into bible bashing or anything, I'm not anti-Christian or a satan worshipper, but I am a big fan of Slayer, and I'm assuming that at least a few of you are as well. Anyway, here are the tracks that I was able to get ahold of. The CD hits the stores on July 10th.

01. Bloodline
02. New Faith
03. God Send Death
04. Cast Down
05. Here Comes The Pain
06. Disciple

Files removed due to bandwidth problems.

If you're a metal fan, then check this out.

Even though the layout is horrible, the guys over at this site have some interesting things to say about the current state of music. Although I don't agree with everything that they say, alot of the stuff is true.

Bink.nu has all of the newest beta releases of Microsoft software, stuff that you probably won't find anywhere else, so check it out. Speaking of applications, this site has a ton of direct download links to the newest releases, so check it out.

I'm not really into anime, in fact, I think most of it is retarted, but alot of people seem to be into that stuff, so... Go here, here, or here to download a bunch of episodes.

This site makes a MIDI file out of your IP address, and it is really annoying, so... I dunno why I am posting a link to it.

		2000 Years Of Human Error				5.24 11:07 PM

The three remaining members of Rage Against the Machine have created a new band with former Soundgarden lead singer Chris Cornell. Why do I have a feeling that this is gonna suck?

In New Zealand, the government may soon be charging taxes on any animal that farts, because of the danger that it poses to the atmosphere. That's pretty funny.

Whoever did this obviously had alot of free time on their hands.

Why don't we have cool commercials like this one here in the US?

Well... Here's something you won't read everyday. Actually, in today's society, that kinda stuff is in the news all of the time, but still, check that out.

Be sure to check out parsweb.

		**@~#!®^&%$+~!`***				5.24 7:39 AM

Hmm... School starts at 7:30. So what am I doing home? Oh, I know... I AM TRYING TO GET MY MARTHA FOCKING PRINTER TO WORK SO THAT I CAN PRINT OUT THIS DAMN PAPER THAT IS DUE RIGHT NOW AND IS WORTH ABOUT 1/4 OF MY FINAL GRADE IN A CLASS I AM BARELY PASSING. And guess what? The shit is coming out in teal. I tried to print in dark blue, because my printer is out of black ink, but I had no such luck. Plus, I had to get up real early so I could go to CVS and buy printer paper... So yeah, this day pretty much sucks so far, and I've barely woken up.

		Star Wars Crap				5.23 6:57 AM

I got ahold of something that I can almost assure you that you won't see anywhere else, at least not right now. I'm not a big Star Wars fan myself, but I know alot of you people will have an orgasm when you see this crap. I got some leaked footage from Star Wars: Episode II, which was originally posted on theforce.net, but removed due to legal threats from Lucasfilms. My posting it here is probably pretty damn stupid of me, but I don't think that this site is big enough to stir up any type of trouble. Well, we'll see what happens. Anyway, click here to download the leaked footage, I gotta get to school.

		New Eminem Stuff				5.22 8:17 PM

This may seem extremely hypocritical, since just yesterday I 'dissed' white rappers... But that's just too bad. I actually don't like much rap at all, I am more into harder rock and metal type stuff, but I got my hands on some tracks from the upcoming D-12 album. I couldn't care less about D-12, but Eminem is on some of the tracks, so I figured I'd upload them here where you can check them out.

d12-purple_pills_(full_dirty_version)-ksi.mp3
d12-fight_music_(snippet)-ksi.mp3
d12-american_psycho_(snippet)-ksi.mp3

Files removed due to bandwidth problems.

Damn! Right now, at Staples, they are selling spindles of 100 80 minute CD-Rs for $7.94, which is the cheapest I have ever seen them, so you might wanna check that out... Click here if you're interested.

I was never really into visiting museums or anything, but I sure wouldn't mind going here.

The prom king... Is a dyke? Read more here.

Three transsexuals filed suit against Toys "R" Us yesterday, saying they were chased from the Bensonhurst store by eight bat-wielding employees... That has got to be the best news article I have ever read.

		If I Can Do This, I Can Give Skinny An Iron Lung!				5.21 4:59 PM

Brantley, the designer of most of this layout, is in need of a host. He has some amazing design skills, and if you host him, he will make you a layout as well. So, help him out be e-mailing him, if you're interested.

Damn, that kid who I hit in the head with the battery, I think his entire 'posse' is after me. Good thing I wore a hoody today, so walking home from school I could act shady and put my hood up. That way no drive-bys or beat-downs will occur...

Anyway, here's some reader mail.

From: "Agent Spits"
Subject: ur racists
Date: Sun, 20 May 2001 10:48:41

lol, well ur not really racists. But you are racists againts white underground rappers. dude u said that TrEE guy sucks. well im not saying he's the best rapper in the world. but did u even listen to any of his songs. if u didn't then download his song Let Me Know. that shit is pretty good. us white rappers gotta stick together. I take it ur picky about your music. thats cool not every1 has the same taste. whatever i just wanted to email u cause I was bored/ peace

http://agentspits.homestead.com

Since I don't like most white rappers, that makes me racist against them? Well, I don't like John Denver, does that make me racist against folk-rockers as well? I don't think so. I did listen to that T.r.E.E. guy, and I thought he was horrible. If that is something that you can actually pop into your CD player and listen to, you have some problems. The lyrics suck so bad, out of nowhere, he says, "drink sprite." I'm not gonna waste anymore of my time on this subject, but I found this e-mail to be quite humorous. So, all you "white rappers" out there, stay together, and don't let the man bring you down.

Here's another e-mail, from someone who is quite obviously somewhat picky about the spelling of slang words reffering to the male genitalia.

From: "Juan Ortiz "
Subject: choad not chode
Date: Sun, 20 May 2001 12:47:53

I've always known it to be choad, and not chode. On dictionary.com, if you look up choad, you get:

choad /chohd/ n. Synonym for `penis' used in alt.tasteless and popularized by the denizens thereof. They say: "We think maybe it's from Middle English but we're all too damned lazy to check the OED." [I'm not. It isn't. --ESR] This term is alleged to have been inherited through 1960s underground comics, and to have been recently sighted in the Beavis and Butthead cartoons. Speakers of the Hindi, Bengali and Gujarati languages have confirmed that `choad' is in fact an Indian vernacular word equivalent to `fuck'; it is therefore likely to have entered English slang via the British Raj.

and for chode you get:

chode \Chode\ (ch[=o]d), the old imp. of chide. See Chide.

And Chide is something like a child or something, i don't remember. Anyways, that's been annoying me ever since you put the t-shirt up for sale with "chode" on it. But oh well, do what you want.

Okay... Well, I decided to stick with the 'ode spelling, because in Good Charlotte's music video for the song "Little Things", (please note that I am not a fan of that type of music) at the end of the music video, there is a school bulletin board, and they are rearranging the letters. They show like three different variations of the letters, and in one of them, it says "chode." I'm not exactly sure how I noticed thise, but if you ever see the video, watch it until the very end, and you will probably see what I am talking about. This e-mail assisted me in drawing one conclusion... You won't be buying a c-h-o-d-e shirt, am I right?

Expand your DVD collection with $7.99 DVDs from half.com - Check it out here.

Oh yeah, speaking of movies, I saw Freddy Got Fingered a few days ago, and not only was it one of the worst movies I have ever seen, it was also pretty damn funny. I'm pretty damn sure Tom Green wanted people to leave the theater thinking how bad the movie sucked, it just dragged on for so damn long that me and my friends almost walked out, but in a wierd way, it was ingenious at the same time. It had it's funny parts, but to be perfectly honest, I'm really not sure if I would reccomend that you go see this or not. If you are easily shocked or grossed out, than it is definitely not for you.

If you're a fan of 311, then you may want to check this out, it's a shockwave file which contains a clip from a song from their upcoming album, "From Chaos".

Be sure to check out The Terrorizt Network.

		C to tha H to tha O to... You Know.				5.20 12:26 AM

I found some great sites tonight, all revolving around one thing: The almighty chode. Now you may ask: "What is a chode?" Well, no one is 100% sure what it really is, but hey, they talk about it in the bible, so it's gotta be good. Some individuals seem to think that chodes are wonderful, but they must be, since they have broken the language border. Some chodes love Bjork, some have even been inspirational enough to make their way into poetry and music. If you're into skating, check out the Chode Skateboard Shop.

Speaking of chodes, chode t-shirts are still available, so get yours today!

Nothing, and I do mean nothing, is more fun than tick dissection... I do it all the damn time!

		Better Off Playin' Leapfrog With A Unicorn				5.19 2:34 PM

I went up to my room at about 6:30 PM, I popped in a CD and sat down on my bed, trying to think of something to do... Next thing I know, it's 9:00 AM Saturday morning. So that kinda sucks, but then again, it's probably good that I didn't go out, because I caught up on some much-needed sleep.

While Adam and Jansson seem to think that

Morpheus is the best Napster alternative, I have to disagree. Although I haven't even tried Morpheus yet (I am downloading it now), I must say that KaZaA is alot better. I mean c'mon, this is almost as good as Scour Exchange was, I even found a bunch of full Sifl & Olly episodes... How awesome is that? Okay, I just downloaded that Morpheus thing, and it is the exact same thing as KaZaA. So pick one or the other, I like KaZaA better, but they are both almost identical, same application, just different graphics.

A ten-pack of CD-R's for $1.00 - Is that too good to be true?

565 Simpson's Trivia Questions - Sounds good to me!

Okay, here's some sites for you to check out, even though I'm sure most of you don't bother. First of all, check out De-Railed Online. They've been aorund for probably about a year now, and the site just went back up. And uh, the other twos ites I promised I would plug are Yardsale's Blog and Sugarfish, so check those out.