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Update: The site is currently down, I'm not sure why... Hopefully it'll be back soon so I can cause more havoc. Well, maybe havoc is too strong a word for it, but this stuff cracks me up. I watched Scary Movie 2 today, I got the VCD. Anyway, the quality was pretty bad, but the movie itself, in my opinion, was terrible. It was nothing but cheap attempts at humor, and if you thought it was funny, you're either a seven year old, or you have down syndrome... Or both. I also watched Summer Of Sam, which I thought was a decent movie. I was interested in reading about what really happened, since the movie is based on a true story, and I found this link. If you're interested in that type of stuff, then check it out. After reading this news article, I have come to the conclusion that ICP is gay. Wait, I already thought that before reading the article... Nevermind. I got ahold of the new System Of A Down CD last night, and it's great. I would post it on here but I don't have anywhere to host the files... Anyone want to host them for me? Even if only temporarily, I'd apprecciate it, and I'm sure alot of my readers would too- Let me know. Update: For now, you can download it from here. FreeOS.com is a useful resource for information on many operating systems, including free ones, so it may be of interest to you if you're into that sort of thing. Ninja Burger is the world's only online fast food delivery service run entirely by ninjas, and they guarantee delivery in 30 minutes or less. If they don't meet this standard, they will commit seppuku (suicide). | |
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I just got back from seeing Final Fantasy with my friend Rita, and I'm not sure if I liked it or not. It was long and confusing, but one thing's for sure, the animation was absolutely incredible. It's worth seeing for that alone. The storyline was pretty complex, and when we left the theater alot of people were sitting in their seats just thinking, "What the hell...?"
I downloaded the Jurassic Park III VCD last night, burned it onto a CD, and watched it on my DVD player - The quality was pretty damn good, and I liked the movie, despite the negative reviews I've heard. The first one is still the best by far, but I still liked it, and when it comes out in theaters tommorow, you should check it out. This epilot program, to me, is amazing. Why? Well, I've never earned $180+ just sitting on my arse before, so it's pretty exciting. Want proof on how much I've earned so far? Click here. Yeah, I know, I've already posted about it twice, but it's pretty damn cool, and it's definitely worth signing up if you haven't already. Remember, sign up using my refferal, "Jiglet", and e-mail me letting me know that you did so, and I will hook you up with the cheat program, which runs in the background earning you money while you do whatever you'd normally be doing on the computer. Anyway, I just thought I'd throw that out there one last time for those of you who haven't already signed up. Robin over at FilteredLife has a brand new layout up, and it's pretty nice, so be sure to check that out. Some other sites I promised to plug... NexusCore[dot]net, Digital Factory, empty-life, Remote Access, and last, but not least, The Wired Press. | |
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I will never understand how I manage to get into constant trouble with a site like this, but other teenagers who run sites that have like dead fetus galleries and instructional text files on how to perform rape don't get in any type of trouble. I have been through so much crap due to this site, I must be crazy for going on with it. There are people I'm not allowed to see because their parents saw the site and don't want their kids associated with me. Alot of you seem to think my parents are religious freaks because they check up on my site every once in awhile. Well, as much as I hate having limitations as to what I can do with my site, I really do understand where they're coming from. This is basically the story of my brush with the law due to the content of this site, and should possibly clear some things up for some of you. I'm not exactly sure when I started this site, but I know it was sometime when I was in 8th grade, which was in 1997. Obviously, I don't have all of my work backed up... But John's Crawlspace started off as a different type of site than what it is today. I used to make posts in the same way that I do now, but they were less frequent, and I had alot of sections. I had an enormous MP3 section, and used to store my MP3s on Angelfire and Tripod. Some of my 'old school' visitors might remember the "notorious" blue-and-orange layout. Yeah, that was back when everyone used i-frames, and AOL progs were still popular. Anyway, during the summer between 8th and 9th grade, something happened. My friend Ryan was staying over at my house, and my dad woke me up at like 7 o'clock in the morning. He told me to tell Ryan to get his stuff and go home, and he seemed really mad. He said that he got a phone call from the police, and that they wanted us to come in at 8 o'clock that morning. They said it had something to do with computers. Well, at that time, I had all kinds of "illegal" stuff on my laptop, such as "The Anarchists Cookbook" and CC Generators, that type of stuff, so I deleted all of that off of my laptop. I was scared as hell, I had no idea what it was about. Well, when we got there, they led us back into some conference room, and like 3 cops were sitting in there. They had my entire website printed out on paper. Every single guestbook entry, every update I had ever made, and every section and image I had posted. That was at least 40 pages worth of stuff, since I had alot of updates, and a decent amount of sections. I still had no idea what I did wrong. Then they went through the stack of papers, and pulled out a particular one which had an image I had made in Microsoft Paint more than a year before then. It was of a teacher from my middle school, with her head cut off. It was a joke, and a very obvious fake. As soon as I saw the image they were holding up, I started sweating like mad, because I remembered that the Columbine shootings had happened less than a week ago, and I remembered hearing all about how the kids had websites with stuff on them that should have served as a warning to the public. They showed it to my parents, and asked if they had seen it before. My parents hadn't. Next, they picked out like 10 pages, which were all full of guestbook entries. They went through each and every entry and asked who the person was, how I knew them, where they lived, what their phone number was, etc. Now, naturally, half of the people who had signed the guestbook were people I didn't know, using 'online aliases'. And some of them were things my friends did as a joke, like signing the guestbook as Hitler, which at this time did NOT look good. Anyway, when they would ask for info on a person who I didn't know, they didn't believe me at all that I didn't know the person, and they acted like I was hiding something from them. I remember a few times they actually said "Okay, let's try this again", and they'd repeat the question. There was also some pretty vulgar stuff in there that got my parents mad at me. For example, my friend Ryan had a section on the site called "The Journey Of Captain Semen", which was basically a fake captain's log that he updated every once in a while. This made me really mad, because I know there is no way I could get into trouble for being vulgar on the internet... Yet they spent almost an hour going over parts of the site that had nothing to do with the reason why I was there. Eventually they got back to the image of the teacher, and they questioned me about when I made it. I obviously didn't remember, but they said when I made it was very important, because if I had made it recently, it could be taken as a much more serious threath than if I had made it awhile ago, which I had. They told me it was still very serious, and that it was likely that I'd be going to court over the issue, and possibly juvi. Well, that scared the crap out of me... As far as I was concerned, I really hadn't done anything wrong. Then they started questioning me about things that had nothing to do with the website. They told me that this teacher's tires had recently been slashed, and that she was recieving alot of threatening phone calls. Of course, it would only make sense to blame all of that on me. I had nothing to do with either of those things, yet, if I had to go to court, those 'offenses' were going to be included in the charges. That definitely wouldn't have looked good.It could have been anyone though, she was the meanest teacher I ever saw, so I'm sure she had alot of students who wanted to get back at her, and would have done something like prank calling her, or slashing her tires, to do it. Anyway, after a few more attempts to scare the living hell out of me with legal talk, they dismissed us, saying that we would hear from them within a week. Well, I never heard from the New Cumberland police again (not regarding that situation, anyway) so I'm not sure what ended up happening. They did e-mail both of my hosts (8op.com and Angelfire) and have my page removed at both hosts, but that was the worst of it. But that is how I lost almost a years worth of work. Since then, I have recieved numerous legal threats, some of which are documented in my archives, but none as potentially serious as the one described above. What I don't understand is how pages like newgrounds.com can make flash games where you murder celebrities, but I can't make an image of someone the way I did. Not that I have any desire to, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. What was the point of all that? Well, it's somewhat relative to the fact that I took down the "cam hotties" table on the left, and I may possibly discontinue the galleries as well... Which, by the way, have so far recieved a combined total of 2,667,984 hits to date since I got the site back up... This was less than a month ago. That's alot of hits. Anyway, please don't e-mail me asking about all this, I get enough retarted e-mails as it is. | |
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Oh no, today is Saturday the 14th! Scary stuff man... Especially if you're supersticious.
Click here for full album downloads by The Cult, Roger Sanchez (who?) and Linkin Park. I think that Carrot Top has gotta be the most annoying celebrity of all time. Wait, scratch that, he doesn't even deserve to be considered a celebrity... Damn, what a homo. He really is probably one of the most useless human beings on the face of the earth. Damn, check out this guy's pictures. He's seriously one of the ugliest people I have ever seen. Well, maybe not as ugly as the poor, poor people in the images below. I think that's enough for now, I have other stuff to do. Here's a few plugs I promised... Check out visualbastards.com and three-ring. That'll be all. | |
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I just heard from my boss. I am on some type of "probation", where they are going to only schedule me to work one night a week... Damn, I need money too. This is such a load of crap.
If you're into rap music, click here for an assload of MP3s. Whoever that belongs to, well, I feel bad for them, 'cuz their bandwidth's about to be raped. Circus X has some pretty fun flash games... Check out Ultimate Dodgeball, it's pretty fun... Well, for the first minute or so. But you guys seem easily amused, so I figured I'd hook you up with a few weeks worth of entertainment that I just happened to stumble across. This Powers of Ten thing is pretty interesting, I saw a video like this at school, and it was pretty damn cool. Belly lights? I've never seen anyone wearing those before, but according to that link, they are the "hot new thing" so... I think that's pretty damn gay, but I wouldn't be surprised if it got big.  That, my friends, is the beautiful Michelle That has to be one of my favorite "fan pics" so far. Click on the image above to check out her site. Buttplugs: [MyWorldSux.com] [LuciD's Realm] [Chopper's Palace] Chew on this: One in every four Americans has some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If it's not one of them... It's you. | |
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I actually wouldn't be surprised if animal lovers started to ask for equal rights, the way child molestors and homosexuals do. No, I am not comparing homosexuals to people who have sex with animals... Nevermind. And now, the accusations of me being a homophobe once again begin. I think that even Puff Daddy realizes that his new alias, "P. Diddy", is completely retarted. It's almost as bad as J-Lo... Whoever has the time to make pages like this one is pretty pathetic. Damn... There's nothing like some good old-fashioned barbie pr0n. I mean c'mon, am I right?  The above image was made for me by Lauren, check her site out. | |
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One of the Backstreet Boys is in the hospital for depression. I heard on the news the other night that he was in the hospital, but they made it sound like it was for a physical injury. I'm not going to use this as an opportunity to bash boy-bands, because, despite the fact that I don't like the music, I really don't have any problem with them. Anyway, click here to read the article. I just got off the phone with Angelina Jolie, and she agrees that it's time we have some children of our own. If you want to be nosy and read about my private life with the Tomb Raider star, click here. This article cracked me up... Some guy always had people using his front yard as a "landfill", they would come two or three nights a week and throw crap in his yard, sometimes even human/dog shit. It went on for an entire year, and he tried, but never caught the people. Finally, he had the police install a camera, and they caught them. That's just funny to me, probably because it reminds me of how my friends and I used to do annoying stuff like that. This one really mean lady near my old house, well, we always dug big holes in her yard when she wasn't home. One day she pulled into the driveway while we were doing it... And she called the police. Yeah, that sucked, but looking back, it was hilarious. I'm actually really excited to see Jurassic Park III, because I loved the first two. I just read [here] that the movie was filmed without a script, so I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not... Sorry Adam, but I just had to steal this link. Look kids, HIV in a can, for your convenience! This epilot.com thing is awesome. So far, I have earned $80, using my cheat program, and reffering friends. Don't believe me? Here is a screenshot I just took thats hows my earnings to this date. If you're interested in making some quick, easy money, join epilot! If you sign up using my nick, "jiglet", as your referral, let me know, and I will hook you up with this great cheat program. Okay, that's enough. In the United States, there is an average of three sex-change operations performed everyday. So, if you're a big manwhore, your chances of meeting someone with a little something extra to offer are now greater than ever before! Keep your fingers crossed guys! | |
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Okay, here are those System Of A Down MP3s. These are off of the new album, which should be in stores sometime soon. "Chop Suey" is hands-down my favorite song out of the five, it somehow manages to go from heavy to melodic, and it has such a great sound. "Gee, John, thanks for hooking me up with this music before it hit the stores... I really appreciate what you're doing with your site, and I want to thank you by clicking here and voting for your site, which takes all but two seconds." Oh, you're welcome Cornelius. Glad you like the site buddy! Haha, using this link, you can locate child molestors in your area. Hey, if you're lucky, maybe there is one in your neighborhood! Child molestors are so silly. To all fans of The Upright Citizens Brigade, I suggest you check out Brasseye - It's a hilarious sketch comedy show from Channel 4 in London, and the accents can be a bit difficult to understand at times, but it's definitely worth checking out, since it works on the same type of humor that UCB was notorious for. And now, a John's Crawlspace first - Stop the presses! This is something you have never seen here before. Click here to see a hot chick with a nice pussy. Buttplugs: Qalm and Listen To Me. | |
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I don't have a whole lot of time to post tonight. Since my family is gone, and my grandparents are here to "watch me", I have to be in bed by 1 AM, I gotta make this quick.
I got a few tracks from the new System Of A Down CD, which I have really been looking forward to getting ahold of. If you want me to put 'em on the site, just e-mail me and let me know. If I get a decent amount of requests, I'll put it on here in my next update. If you're into this whole get-rich-while-surfin'-the-net stuff, then you should check out epilot. I usually avoid getting involved with this crap... But this one, from what I've heard, is a good investment of your time. Basically, when you join, you get 3 cents for every search you make through the site, and $2 for every person you refer. Now, that may not sound liek alot, but I have a program that will conduct random searches for you at random intervals, and if you leave it on overnight, you can earn a nice amount of money! So click here to join, if you're interested, and if you use me as your refferal, ("Jiglet"), let me know, and I will hook you up with the cheat program. And by the way, they don't spam you. The stuff Yes, sadly, I must be off. But here, have a fart-crust cookie... It's on the house! | |
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Some of the people who wander into my store really piss me off. These two black ladies came in, and they bought close to $100 of stuff... Oh yeah, did I mention I work in a dollar store? Yeah, so that's alot of stuff. Anyway, this one lady, who, might I add, had a pretty nice moustache goin', she started telling me which items were hers, and which were her friends. Not for any particular reason, since they were paying for it all together, and it was all going into the same bags. But for some reason she felt the need to tell me which items were hers, and which weren't. But that's not what got me mad. The way she talked is what pissed me off. She would say, "dis is mines". Not 'mine', but 'mines'. I'm not even sure why, but it annoyed me so much, I seriously wanted to punch her in the face. Some other black lady came in, and when I went to hand her the change, she had some kind of spasm, she started convulsing, and she dropped most of the change. It kinda scared me... Well, whatever, I don't really wanna think about it, I'm not at work now, so I might as well attempt to enjoy myself.
Damn, old people can be really aggressive. Take this for example. Well, maybe the guy had rabies... That would explain it. If anyone ever stole my penis... Well, there'd be some ass-kicking going on, I can tell you that much. Well, I'm gonna go watch a movie. Later H4X0RZ! | |
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Okay, I got back from the video store. I stopped into the local run-and-owned-by-indians gas station to get a drink, and this Paki starts asking me about Ricky Martin song. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. I just wanted to get my drink and get the hell outta their, but I gave him a $5 bill, so I had to wait for my change, and he kept asking about some song. He tried to sing it for me, I swear to God, he was singing some crap like, "Oh my baby, where do you go" or something. He was literally singing to me. It was pretty funny, but I just sorta took my change out of his palm and walked out.
Damn... Coby from Pranks 2K is my hero. His prank calls are hilarious. I think this one is without a doubt the funniest. Damn, I need to make more prank calls. I have a few decent ones on my computer right now, I'm just too lazy to post them. Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time again... Time for some plugs.
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Damn, there's alot of wierd stuff in the news. Yes, I realize it's my responsibility to supply you with the cream of the crop, so here we go. Three little girls tried to kill their classmate by putting gopher poison pellets in her sandwich. Read more here. A colombian peasant was bitten on his penis by a poisonous snake... Ouch! Read more here. Pop rocks - Wiping out our nation's youth? One could only wish... Anyway, read more about that here. Couples in some areas are now able to choose the sex of their babies? Wow, interesting... Read more about that right here. Well I gotta go return some videos... And rent some more. Any suggestions? Hit me up nigga! One love, peace out. | |
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In celebration of our countires independence, I am going to blow up a small portion of it. With fireworks, that is. Well, maybe not - Unfortunately, this year, there were no big parties to go to or anything.
Do me a favor. Get all of your friend's attention, and... No wait, better yet - Go to a public library and open this link. It's an instant hit! You'll be popular as hell, and the ladies will rush to you. What would you do... If your parents decided to name you something like, say, Dingleberry? What about something like Horse, or Turd? Oh man... Well, I guess it doesn't get much worse than this... After several vigorous months of fighting with myself, and numerous breakdowns, as well as some unmentionable alternative experimentation, I have come to the conclusion that Janet Reno is hot. There, I said it. If you're not into that, why not try this instead? Damn... This is great news for anyone who lives in South London. Finally, progress. This game is insanely addictive. I can't stop playing it! Actually, I just started, but it's alot of fun, so check it out. Be sure to check out Sheena's Site [Illustriouz II] because she's a hottie, and she has a cool site. Oh yeah, and check out Goumie's Funhouse. Why? No reason, just do it. | |
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Damn, this is insane. The Everyday Hotties Galleries have been up for less than three days, and already more than 10 GB of bandwidth has been used. I'm praying that my host's host doesn't cut me off... Yeah, that's what happened last time. Slut.
It was so nice out today, I really wanted to be outside... But had nowhere to go, so I just pulled a lawnchair up in the driveway, turned on some music, and next thing I know, I wake up like an hour and a half later, and I'm sunburnt as hell. Skin cancer, here I come! I am now the proud owner of a male chastity tube. Okay, obviously I'm not really, but I couldn't think of any other way to link that, so... Yeah. Gotta love anime flash cartoons! Check out The Grafite Network and Rendered, because they're both run by cool people. And now, the quote of the day: "I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with natives dancing around me." -Mel Lastman, mayor of Toronto, on his plans to visit Kenya. | |
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Ladies and gentlemen... Please, do yourselves a favor - Respect the chode. Alright? Thanks. All kidding aside, that link is one of the wierdest I've seen for awhile.
FilteredLife is finally back up. so be sure to check that out. What's a butt mint? What's a butt plug? What's a butt-nugget? FInd out the answers to these questions, and more, at the diary of a fat slut. What the hell am I talking about? I dunno really... I'm in a wierd-ass mood. I think that most of the time, bumper stickers make cars look trashy. Some people will slap any bumper sticker onto their car, regardless of what it says. Soccer moms, you know what I'm talking about... "Save The Whales!" But here are a few bumper stickers I wouldn't mind putting on my car, that is... If I has one. I thought some of those were kinda funny... Anyway, I'm going out. Misunderstood is back up, so make sure you check that out. Oh yeah, and Lameking is a pimp. | |
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A few nights ago, I finally had a chance to sit down and watch Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, and I really liked it. In my opinion, it was better than Snatch, which, if you didn't know, is Guy Ritchie's latest work. Also, I watched a movie called There Goes My Baby, which I really liked alot. It was basically one night in the life of some high school graduates in the sixties. It was similiar to Dazed and Confused, the major difference being it didn't really have any drugs in it. Hey, look - I'm on the news again! When we learned about the Salem Witch trials in school, this was brought up as a possible explanation for what went on. I found it pretty interesting myself, and thought I'd share. Holy crap... Basketball-playing midgets - That is just beyond cool. I want one! Wow, this site is pretty creepy... It's the actual suicide notes of people who killed themselves. I kinda feel wierd after reading those... Buttplugs: Seepigrun.com - Because a running pig is better than a walking one... Yeah. Bigpervert.net - Aren't we all? Don't lie to yourself. | |
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